AIBU to confront naughty teenagers in the park

[BerthaBigBird]

I was at the park at the weekend and some teens were taking stuff out of the bin and chucking it at each other, in addition to annoyances such as littering, shouting and swearing, trying to damage play equipment (unsuccessfully). Generally making the area unpleasant for the parents and kids who were there.
A couple of parents confronted them about it (separately) and were met with verbal abuse - being called silly bitches and told to fuck off etc
We are in quite a middle class area so they weren’t particularly intimidating and I bet their parents would not take kindly to their behaviour, or their school. To be honest being from the north myself it’s weird to hear the foul language they were coming out with in a (for me) quite posh accent!
But I didn’t know what to do. Anything? Do I leave the park with my kids? Say something? Report it? Not that we have much police presence around here.

Parents, teachers, former teenagers: is there anything I could have said in this situation to make the teenagers behave themselves better?
YABU - mind your own business
YANBU - you should say something

I am some what of an expert at telling teenagers off it parks as I manage 35 parks.

Aggressive isn’t the way to go. Making them feel guilty is the way to do it, if that doesn’t work just call the police. Yesterday I caught three boy’s drawing huge penises on the grass in the park with line marker. They very quickly apologised and cleaned it all up after I let them know I’d had to come to the park on a Sunday and leave my children at home to clean up their mess.

Posting descriptions in the neighbourhood page usually works well to involve parents. Usually the best the police manage is community resolution.

In our area the approach seems to be post on community Facebook - do you know where your teen was last night type thing no photos of the teens - group in park littering/sweating. Or call Pcso and they up the park patrols especially in school hols.
Our fence gets damaged (near park) one of my successful things was coming out with big hammer banging nails back in. I could hear teens saying wtf, a few brave ones stuck head over. I continued, one asked what I was doing - I told them I was fixing fence that had been damaged yet again carried on loudly bashing nails in my fence with hammer. They backed away as I clearly looked like a mad woman.

I always pull up ASB.

Just tell them what you observe them doing and tell them that its antisocial. If they are rude or sweary, dont take it personally, they are just being teenagers.

The fact that an adult is taking time to pull them up on it is always a positive thing, yes they might kick off a bit, but they usually do that just to save face. Then stop and wander off elsewhere.

@LizDoingTheCanCan

If they didn't seem to be the stabby sort then I'd tell them to fuck off and stop being twats.

What do the stabby sort look like?

Probably the sort that tells people to fuck off for being twats :)

Non plummy accents. I would only confront kids who have a future to lose.

^

That’s in response to what do stabby types look like. It’s not what stabby types look like, it’s what non-Stabby types look like. They look middle to upper middle class. Like they have something to lose.

How to say you're a Tory, without saying you're a Tory...

@sophiebmumof3

How to say you're a Tory, without saying you're a Tory...

Is it only Tories who care about ASB?

Already on this thread.,,,huge assumptions. Middle class kids who swear are not as threatening as working class kids, kids who are posh have a future ergo those that don’t must be working class and now only Tories can be bothered about mess and ASB in a park.

@sophiebmumof3
Tories don’t have to worry about teenagers in their parks or on their buses or in their communities. They are well insulated from the effects of their policies

If you want to virtue signal, you can. Enjoy getting stabbed. I would only ever confront a teenager if I was 100% sure they weren’t carrying a knife. Not 50%, not 90% - 100% sure. There are a tiny tiny number of teenagers that would fit in that category.

[quote bluedodecagon]@sophiebmumof3
Tories don’t have to worry about teenagers in their parks or on their buses or in their communities. They are well insulated from the effects of their policies

If you want to virtue signal, you can. Enjoy getting stabbed. I would only ever confront a teenager if I was 100% sure they weren’t carrying a knife. Not 50%, not 90% - 100% sure. There are a tiny tiny number of teenagers that would fit in that category.[/quote]
Tory teenagers are still teenagers.
How can you be 100% sure they are not carrying a knife, are we conducting body searches? i'd love tips if could give me some as in my 'middle class' community, it is unfortunately still an issue.

I wouldn't confront them but I would chat to them. That alone is enough to make most teenagers move on.

@sophiebmumof3

See you think you are being very right on but in reality you’re displaying your own privilege. Teenagers don’t carry knives for fun. They carry them for protection, for belonging - for all sorts of complex reasons that unfortunately mostly come down to social exclusion and poverty.

It’s not that wealthy kids aren’t twats, they just mostly haven’t been forced to make the difficult decisions that poorer teenagers have. Some hooray Henry can smash up a pub for fun but they don’t need to carry knives.

Confronting teenagers who might be carrying a knife is the best way to ensure poor outcomes for both them AND you.

Spidey66, or the bus driver could have let it go and let them travel for free, young people should have free bus travel

@Momicrone

Spidey66, or the bus driver could have let it go and let them travel for free, young people should have free bus travel

If the Mayor of London wants to fund free rides for teenagers, he need to find the funding. It's not for drivers to decide.

Record them

I did this when a gang of teenagers were swearing profusely around teenagers in front of my then five and six year old in the local park. They became abusive towards me and I was really insulting to the ringleader back. Not condoning my behaviour at all and I wouldn’t do that again. However it was quite satisfying to humiliate her at the time.

@Momicrone
If it was one polite, apologetic driver he’d probably have let it go, and just let them on. I think he was making a point….they’re supposed to have their passes to record it on the reader. TfL probably need to keep a record via the readers of how many child free places they give.

It’s like I get free prescriptions (under active thyroid) but I still have to show my card to collect them, occasionally letting me off if I’m collecting my thyroxine as that’s the reason I have them free.

Polite apologetic child, not driver.