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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Books about autism

75 replies

PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 13:31

Can anyone recommend any good ones? It has more or less been acknowledged that my 21 month old grandson definitely has ASD and as his carer, when his mum goes back to work, I want to learn as much as possible so that I can help keep him happy, safe and understood. TIA.

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 27/02/2022 13:34

I think it’s lovely that you want to understand more. I have a son with autism and can only wish for interested grandparents for him!

Being honest the best thing you can do is listen to his parents - follow their lead on how to do things. There’s a saying “if you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met one person with autism” - there’s no standard person with autism!

Gizacluethen · 27/02/2022 13:36

@Bagelsandbrie

I think it’s lovely that you want to understand more. I have a son with autism and can only wish for interested grandparents for him!

Being honest the best thing you can do is listen to his parents - follow their lead on how to do things. There’s a saying “if you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met one person with autism” - there’s no standard person with autism!

Yep this exactly.
Ionlydomassiveones · 27/02/2022 13:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Bagelsandbrie · 27/02/2022 13:45

@Ionlydomassiveones

“There’s a saying “if you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met one person with autism” - there’s no standard person with autism!”

Not helpful though. There must be a baseline set of traits otherwise you wouldn’t have autistic people or be able to diagnose it or put support measures in.

Try Nancy Mucklow’s
Grandparent's Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders: Making the Most of the Time at Nana's House

Or Dr Samantha Todd’s
The Little Book of the Autism Spectrum

Hmm

It is helpful because of the stereotypes - rain man, Sheldon cooper types, etc etc. People think of autism and think of either the genius types or the extremely severe types - there’s a whole spectrum of people in between and even within those areas. I really dislike the whole high and low functioning terms as well. My son is a total mixture of both.

I think yes of course there are some things which do link autism but equally it’s really important people keep an open mind and don’t have preconceived ideas about someone with autism based on media or popular books.

Soggydog · 27/02/2022 13:47

In my experience, the most valuable thing to understand for a child with autism is about sensory needs. They are everything in understanding what regulates a child and what can trigger a meltdown. For me it was a serious game changer to understand and helped me.understand why I was doing what I was and gave me other strategies to try.

PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 13:47

I think it’s lovely that you want to understand more. I have a son with autism and can only wish for interested grandparents for him!

Being honest the best thing you can do is listen to his parents - follow their lead on how to do things. There’s a saying “if you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met one person with autism” - there’s no standard person with autism!

Honestly I love him like my own. I’ve looked after him at least 30 hours per week since he was 6 months old and we have such an amazing bond-well I do with him, he couldn’t give a shit about me half the time Grin. My DD and her partner are as new to this as I am so we’re all just muddling along together really. But yes I do realise that every child with autism is different, but for example we took him to a playgroup especially for autistic children last week and were told that learning sign language could be beneficial so I’m just after tips like this.

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 27/02/2022 13:47

Something that used to drive me crazy for example was my own Mum going on and on about the Curious Dog in the Nighttime book and trying to link it to Ds. She thought she got autism because she “got” it in the context of that particular story.

Bagelsandbrie · 27/02/2022 13:48

Social stories and pecs can be useful - worth a google.

Ionlydomassiveones · 27/02/2022 13:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 13:50

Try Nancy Mucklow’s
Grandparent's Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders: Making the Most of the Time at Nana's House

Or Dr Samantha Todd’s
The Little Book of the Autism Spectrum

Amazing. Thank you so much. Smile

OP posts:
Mamma37463 · 27/02/2022 13:50

The Reason I Jump is written by an autistic boy and recommended by many people who are autistic.

I would also suggest joining Facebook groups that are autistic led to get their perspective such as Autism Inclusivity, and also the Therapist Neurodiversity Network. There's a lot of harmful information out there and it's not easy to distinguish from what's helpful to begin with.

Bagelsandbrie · 27/02/2022 13:51

@Ionlydomassiveones

I get that, thank you, but it’s not helpful to those of us coming from a point of no knowledge or experience whatsoever. It leaves you with nowhere to go and a view of ‘oh ok well there’s nothing I can do then.’
I don’t want to argue with you. You seem very aggressive in your tone. I was trying to be nice and encouraging the op - it’s clear she loves her grandchild and wants to do the best.

If someone is keen to find out about autism from a diagnosis / trait point of view you only have to google and 10000s of sites come up with all sorts of things.

It’s okay for someone to say all people with autism are different in that context - it’s the opposite of what most people are confronted with and it’s good to remind people of this.

Gooders1105 · 27/02/2022 13:52

Autistic logistics - it’s brilliant

Mamma37463 · 27/02/2022 13:54

I also found the Hanen book It Takes Two to Talk extremely good. It's not aimed specifically for autistic kids, but it gives some suggestions on how to communicate at their level.

PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 14:07

In my experience, the most valuable thing to understand for a child with autism is about sensory needs. They are everything in understanding what regulates a child and what can trigger a meltdown. For me it was a serious game changer to understand and helped me.understand why I was doing what I was and gave me other strategies to try.

Interesting. My grandson has never had a meltdown…..yet haha, but I’d like to understand things like why he flaps his hands and paces back and forward. Is he just excited or does it mean he’s too overwhelmed and needs calming? I want to know what’s going on in his head to avoid any upset but he can’t tell us.

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 14:08

Social stories and pecs can be useful - worth a google.

I will take a look. Thanks.

OP posts:
AshGirl · 27/02/2022 14:08

This is very expensive but a great resource. Does you DGS have support from SALT and/or OT?

More Than Words: A Parents Guide to Building Interaction and Language Skills for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Social Communication Difficulties https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/0921145411/ref=cmswwrcppapigltti7BTDCJ0T19S1K2WH9A3G

PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 14:10

The Reason I Jump is written by an autistic boy and recommended by many people who are autistic.

I would also suggest joining Facebook groups that are autistic led to get their perspective such as Autism Inclusivity, and also the Therapist Neurodiversity Network. There's a lot of harmful information out there and it's not easy to distinguish from what's helpful to begin with.

Ah yes I have seen that book mentioned before. I will also take a look on FB. Thank you.

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 27/02/2022 14:14

Thanks everyone for your help and book recommendations. Off to have a little look now. Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
Heartofglass12345 · 27/02/2022 14:17

Oh it's so lovely that you want to do this for him Smile
My son is autistic although diagnosed at 6 years old. He's now 8 and my MIL says things like 'he seems fine to me' Hmm
You will probably find spending so much time with him you will get to know what he likes/ dislikes/ triggers etc anyway, which will help Smile

Winedad · 27/02/2022 14:22

Autism by Jessie Hewitson was helpful.
Engaging Autism by Stanley I Greenspan.

My son is autistic, I had a look on the Facebook group Autism Inclusion but felt as my child was so young still and so much was unknown for him that the many differing points of views from autistic adults wasn't helpful at this point.

PerrinAybara · 27/02/2022 14:22

We've got 'The survival guide for kids with autism spectrum disorder (and their parents)'. It's aimed at older kids but I think it's quite good and you may find useful stuff in it.

Concestor · 27/02/2022 14:22

Another Facebook group I'd recommend is Gentle parenting for autistic children UK, there are lots of autistic adults in there as well.

Interviewdisaster · 27/02/2022 14:32

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman is a really interesting, thorough book about the “history” of autism. As the mother of a boy with ASD I found the chapters about attempts to “cure” children quite distressing to read, but it’s fascinating to learn more about how the condition has been perceived by medics / psychiatrists / wider society over the past century.

faw2009 · 27/02/2022 14:50

When my son was diagnosed, we were offered parenting courses by council. I think they were called or used to be called Cygnet? They were very good and helpful, the tutors so knowledgeable and great to share experiences. I also am lucky to have a local parents group and they have meets plus a library. Also there are one off Zoom talks and meetings on range of relevant topics. Sorry, these aren't books, but could be helpful.