Books about autism

[PinkSyCo]

Can anyone recommend any good ones? It has more or less been acknowledged that my 21 month old grandson definitely has ASD and as his carer, when his mum goes back to work, I want to learn as much as possible so that I can help keep him happy, safe and understood. TIA.

We found the NAS parenting support excellent.

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/family-support

Checked it out but no programme local to us unfortunately Daftasabroom. Thank you though.

Anecdotally, my 12 year old autistic DS has just done "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" in English as school. I was curious what he'd make of it - he concluded that the author knew nothing about autism .

OP, it's a good read, but bear in mind its not written by an actual autistic person, and the main character may be nothing like your grandson.

The early bird course I was on had a mum and a gran on it so if there's space I really recommend it.

It's also a great way to meet other families with autistic children.

Incidentally, your child/grandchild has to have to have an official autism diagnosis to attend.

@PinkSyCo

So anyway I have ordered a couple of the books you have recommended and am waiting for someone to call today to explain more about The Early Birds Autism Course ( bit worried about that as I haven’t done any form of studying for 35 years and my brain has turn to shit). Isend is going to visit my GS for the first time this morning, so we are now on the journey (and looking forward) to learning as much as we can about how my gorgeous GS’s beautiful mind works.

My son was the youngest on the early bird course and he was 2.5 at the time. Everyone else was 4 ish.

It's unusual in the UK to get an autism diagnosis so young from my experience.

My son was the youngest on the early bird course and he was 2.5 at the time. Everyone else was 4 ish.

It's unusual in the UK to get an autism diagnosis so young from my experience.

For various reasons I missed phone call from the course adviser yesterday, so what you’re saying is I won’t get on a course because GS has not been officially diagnosed?

I'm not sure if you need an official diagnosis to do the Early Bird course, we were offered it after my son was diagnosed. I was just observing that many of the services are targeted at an older age group, did you say your grandson was 20 months?

@doadeer

I'm not sure if you need an official diagnosis to do the Early Bird course, we were offered it after my son was diagnosed. I was just observing that many of the services are targeted at an older age group, did you say your grandson was 20 months?

I did the early bird when my son was five ,I think there is an early bird plus course too for pre school children?

@Mollysocks

It’s fiction but ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ is also a good read. The main character is Autistic and gives a good insight into his thoughts and feelings.

I disagree. I mean I agree it's a good read, but aside from that it only really does give insight into that one characters thought process. It's like saying if you read a fiction book from a NT perspective you will understand how NT people think. You won't.

Oh i wasn't told about that. I did it when my son was 2.5. It was still interesting but I mean my son had no communication at all at this stage, so I do think it would have been better if we'd done it when he was a bit older.

@doadeer

I'm not sure if you need an official diagnosis to do the Early Bird course, we were offered it after my son was diagnosed. I was just observing that many of the services are targeted at an older age group, did you say your grandson was 20 months?

But that is an official diagnosis

I mentioned it because the OP says her grandson has suspected autism ie he hasn't been assessed as yet.

@PinkSyCo

My son was the youngest on the early bird course and he was 2.5 at the time. Everyone else was 4 ish.

It's unusual in the UK to get an autism diagnosis so young from my experience.

For various reasons I missed phone call from the course adviser yesterday, so what you’re saying is I won’t get on a course because GS has not been officially diagnosed?

That's my understanding yes. That the funding for the course is only available after diagnosis.

Honestly, I understand wanting to read something, but the way you sound about your g's already, I think you're already perfectly placed to get this.

As far a my son is concerned, it's all about trust. If they tell you something, or show you something, then take it at face value. Don't try and jolly him, or distract him, if something is wrong.

And I double vote for autistic led info. It makes such a difference to how you behave towards a child.

Meanwhile, if anyone says anything about -
ABA
Modifying behaviour
Helping them fit in etc etc,

RUN in the opposite direction.

But most importantly, you already love him. Keep doing that.

www.abebooks.co.uk/Words-Fern-Sussman-Hanen-Centre/31097638639/bd?cm_mmc=ggl--UK_Shopp_Tradestandard--product_id=UK9780921145417USED-_-keyword=&gclid=CjwKCAiApfeQBhAUEiwA7K_UH_TQWVexgkS_ladgbW38pXJvcBw6bo8Go7DcpxTL_Lrv4RkoD4gm1hoCs70QAvD_BwE
This was really helpful for interacting with my autistic son who is non verbal (so far)

@Clymene
I wasn't disagreeing with you I was saying that we too were offered it post diagnosis but I didn't know the formal rules around who is offered it.

My point was around the best age to do these things. Getting a diagnosis at 2 is very young in the UK from my experience so most kids tend to be older on the various courses I've done.

I highly recommend sensory spectacle for learning about sensory processing. There are courses on the website as well as free information and the lady who runs it also has a youtube channel. It helped me to underatand sensory seeking ds so much. I have completed most of the courses which have been brilliant and always been able to drop an email if I'm trying to unpick something. She has complied beautiful books of autistic experiences to educate which I love.
Makaton has been game changing for DS, you can search for courses on their website many of which are run on zoom. There is a massive selection to choose from and some tutors offer parents places at cost under £30 if their child has communication difficulties. Taster sesions are usually £10 and some times run for free.
Ds was diagnosed officially last year although we had concerns from around 16 months. He is about to turn 6.

@PinkSyCo

In my experience, the most valuable thing to understand for a child with autism is about sensory needs. They are everything in understanding what regulates a child and what can trigger a meltdown. For me it was a serious game changer to understand and helped me.understand why I was doing what I was and gave me other strategies to try.

Interesting. My grandson has never had a meltdown…..yet haha, but I’d like to understand things like why he flaps his hands and paces back and forward. Is he just excited or does it mean he’s too overwhelmed and needs calming? I want to know what’s going on in his head to avoid any upset but he can’t tell us.

My son is severely autistic with severe learning disabilities. He was diagnosed at 2. He’s an adult now. He never had meltdowns as a little boy either. He was very “good” never made any demands of us and could sit and play alone for hours. Everyone used to tell us how lucky we were that he was so well behaved 🙄. That all changed as he got older!

It’s hard to suggest books or blogs to follow. I mainly belong to severe autism groups as those parents are the ones who I resonate with. I can’t tolerate people telling me autism is a gift or a different way of thinking so stick with groups where our children have the same sorts of issues. There are lots of groups on Facebook you may find helpful. You can join a few and see which ones you find more helpful.

[quote doadeer]@Clymene
I wasn't disagreeing with you I was saying that we too were offered it post diagnosis but I didn't know the formal rules around who is offered it.

My point was around the best age to do these things. Getting a diagnosis at 2 is very young in the UK from my experience so most kids tend to be older on the various courses I've done. [/quote]
Oh sorry! I know they do them for different age groups but agree that it's probably a bit more useful once they're in school (or approaching school).

George and Sam by Charlotte Moore is an excellent book by the mother of two autistic sons.

@lborgia absolutely love your post. Thank you.

George and Sam by Charlotte Moore is an excellent book by the mother of two autistic sons.

Just ordered it. Thank you.

I can talk a good talk, but it might be worth adding that, if not obvious from my post, you and your daughter will probably find the most difficult thing will be other people.
Pressing you to press him into conforming.

Excellent opportunity to use a ton of cliches - it's a Marathon, not a sprint, it takes a village (of people who know what the f they're talking about), make sure you're wearing your own oxygen mask before worrying about anyone else.

I'm reminded of this because it's midday Wednesday here, and I'm done with this weekend.

It can be exhausting. It's not the parenting that's difficult, it's the being a carer.

I see glimpses of parenting when the stars align and both children are where they're supposed to be, and I absolutely love it. Being a carer, not so much.

You daughter/ her family, are very lucky to have you, but it can be hard when you have different experiences of the same child.

My ILs are terrific, and not big on confrontation So if I say "Bob will need to excuse himself from the family lunch when he's over it" they'll just say "of course ?! Of course!!". Where's others in the family often try sending me links to aromatherapy, tough love, all sorts.

That's fine if it's an email (that you can ignore or block) but when you're actually in involved in the day to day parenting, someone has to have the last word, and presumably that will be your daughter. So, absolutely communicate as much as possible, keep listening to each other, and make sure you can both tag in and out when your need to.

Diarise serious breaks for all of you. At different levels. Maybe a weekend away one or twice a year with your other half / her and her other half as relevant.

But also monthly, an afternoon simply to have a hot bath and an afternoon sleep.

That kind of thing. Not in a book, not often discussed, because so many of us cannot do this, but you're starting at the beginning, and offering a different level of support. If I was at the beginning (and had realised what was happening), these are things I wish I'd been told.

So much easier to enjoy the sweet moments when you're not permanently burnt out.

@lborgia

Honestly, I understand wanting to read something, but the way you sound about your g's already, I think you're already perfectly placed to get this.

As far a my son is concerned, it's all about trust. If they tell you something, or show you something, then take it at face value. Don't try and jolly him, or distract him, if something is wrong.

And I double vote for autistic led info. It makes such a difference to how you behave towards a child.

Meanwhile, if anyone says anything about -
ABA
Modifying behaviour
Helping them fit in etc etc,

RUN in the opposite direction.

But most importantly, you already love him. Keep doing that.

All of this.

Have you seen this book?

‘Is It OK to Ask Questions about Autism?’

Link to book on Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/OK-Ask-Questions-about-Autism/dp/1785921703/ref=nodl_#