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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Visitors dogs on sofa

67 replies

Catsoncatnip1 · 27/02/2022 12:55

Family staying over the weekend, I don’t mind them bringing the dog, but asked them not to let it upstairs and for it to sleep in kitchen as room they slept in is going to be nursery (they often take it upstairs but I don’t like it as it often pees on the floor) where we live is quite muddy and dog was in and out a lot. I kept asking for the dog to not be on the sofa and it kept jumping up. Family didn’t seem to listen to me and just let it continue, eventually I expressed can you please not let him jump on sofa as I really don’t like it. Going to have a newborn soon and don’t like the idea of a mucky pup on the couch .. AIBU?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2022 14:01

With a baby on the way now is the time to find your voice, use it, and stick to whatever boundaries you want.

MaudieandMe · 27/02/2022 14:03

We have a dog but he ‘s not allowed upstairs or on sofas.
I certainly wouldn’t allow others to bring their dogs when they visit, so he needs to go into kennels or they find a dog sitter if they’re visiting and staying over.

Otherwise, they keep at home, in the car or outside if it’s a shorter visit.

You need to learn to be very firm NOW, before you have a child, otherwise it’s simply going to get much worse for you.

discombob · 27/02/2022 14:14

@FourChimneys

I would never have a dog in the house even if it meant people didn't visit. It's so grim, especially on carpets or furniture.

Just tell them to leave the dog at home OP. If they don't want to perhaps you can meet somewhere outdoors instead.

Gahh yes yabu to allow them to bring the dog! My DP allowed ILs to bring their dog. It was running around with wet muddy paws, on the rugs, shedding, and of course on our sofa.

sympathies, but I wouldn't really expect it to be confined or outside, I'd tell them just don't bring it at all next time

CambsAlways · 27/02/2022 14:17

Bloody hell, you say they are a lovely family ! Are you sure about that op! They are certainly running rings round you! They aren’t taking any notice! I’m afraid it would be a case of sticking to my house my rules, or they would be on their way

RandomUsernameHere · 27/02/2022 14:24

YANBU. I wouldn't let them bring it at all!

TooBored1 · 27/02/2022 19:58

Not unreasonable at all. We have pets and they are allowed on our furniture but I wouldn't dream of allowing our dog on someone else's sofa. Especially not when muddy.

RampantIvy · 27/02/2022 22:13

I do understand of course but my dogs like to sit next to me whenever on the sofa and I’d have to spend the whole time lifting them down.

Or you could sit on the floor with them?

worriedatthemoment · 27/02/2022 23:47

I have a dog and he occasionally goes on our sofa , when he is muddy though he is dried off and then in his waterproof bed in the utility
If we take him to others he is not on the sofas at all and I would follow any of their rules as their house or not take him
Its disrespectful

Chely · 28/02/2022 00:52

We do not allow our dog on the furniture, if we want a cuddle we sit on the floor. I rarely allow her upstairs, bath and when fireworks are driving her nuts.

Norgie · 28/02/2022 05:03

It's very disrespectful and rude of your guests.
I don't allow my own dogs on the sofa so I certainly wouldn't be allowing anyone else's dog to be.
They would be told in no uncertain terms to get it off and keep it off in my home.

AlternativePerspective · 28/02/2022 05:39

My own dogs aren’t allowed on my furniture or upstairs.

And I have physically removed a friend’s dog from my couch on occasion. Admittedly he wasn’t supposed to be there either so it wasn’t a case of owner allowing it, but dogs can be chancers and this one was, so he was bodily removed by me. I would do the same to someone’s dog who is allowed on the furniture at home without hesitation.

And for people saying it would confuse the dog, not for long it won’t. Dogs understand boundaries perfectly well, and many dogs will do things in one setting which they don’t in another simply because they are taught the boundaries.

One of my dogs used to sleep on the chair in my mum’s house when she looked after her. She was never caught, the chair just used to be warm when my mum came downstairs, but she didn’t actually deter her. She wouldn’t have dreamt of doing it in my house. Ever.

Friend’s dog jumps on people, I caught her in mid air and put her back on the floor, within half an hour she was still jumping on anyone but me, and never has since.

You can enforce boundaries in your own house. If the owner doesn’t like it they’re free to leave the dog at home.

I had an acquaintance to stay and they insisted their dog sleep upstairs with them even though I made it clear that dogs sleep downstairs in my hous. They just took her up there. They were never invited back. There were other reasons, but this was one of the deciding factors.

tcjotm · 28/02/2022 05:41

How could they not understand it’s a problem? Presumably you’ve been telling them/the dog and or moving the dog off the sofa each time?

If not, start!

PinkSyCo · 28/02/2022 05:45

I’m a massive dog lover but you are not being unreasonable at all. Your family are really rude to disrespect the rules of your home like this!

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/02/2022 05:51

I have dogs. I wouldn’t take my dogs to houses, where the owners have very different rules from me.

I don’t think you should have allowed a dog, which cannot control its bodily functions to stay in the first place.

As for your rules, I presume you knew in advance you have different rules from your in laws. Did your in laws know this?

This whole thing should all have been discussed way before their trip to allow them time to find decent dog boarding.

DDivaStar · 28/02/2022 06:32

Sounds like it would be easier for the dog not to come. Of course you can ask for it not to go upstairs or on the sofa but if that's not what they do at home it may be difficult for the dog to understand.

IForgiveYouPaula · 28/02/2022 07:08

@RampantIvy

I do understand of course but my dogs like to sit next to me whenever on the sofa and I’d have to spend the whole time lifting them down.

Or you could sit on the floor with them?

That’s what my DC and DH had to do when we got our dogs because I don’t let them on the furniture. They still get plenty of cuddles from everyone. I love my dogs dearly but the sofa isn’t for them in my home . OP Your house, your rules-every time they let their dog on your furniture you have to tell them to get it off.
capstix · 03/03/2022 20:45

I'd tell them the dog is very welcome to come and stay any time.

But they are not.

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