Sunflower lanyard mis-use.

[Userno36372846]

I know this has probably been said to death. But I want to vent.

I would like to begin with that Ds 11 has a hidden disability. He has worn a sunflower lanyard for the original purpose of showing you may need additional support in shops/airport etc! I feel they are now useless.

They had a purpose way before the pandemic but sadly I feel like the true meaning has been lost and everyone just thinks it's mask exemption, yet many who have a sunflower lanyard can wear a mask but are questioned why they wear a mask, if they have a lanyard 🤯

So much so, Ds hasn't really worn his at all recently. I sadly feel the true meaning is loss which is quite sad as around way longer than pandemic anyway.

Today we bumped into mil whilst out shopping, we are pretty close to her and know she does not have a hidden disability or she's keeping some secrets from us - She had a sunflower lanyard on - just because she doesn't want to wear a mask it seems.

1. Masks aren't event mandatory. Even if you are exempt you don't need to prove it.

1. She does not have a hidden disability. She does not have any illness or condition (unless she's kept it very secret) that stops her from wearing a mask. We've been out with her lots in the last year or two and she's always worn a mask. So why the lanyard now when it's not mandatory?

1. I have been tried to advocate the true meaning of the lanyard on my Facebook, which she would have seen. Not trying to act like a know it all. But I feel they no longer serve a purpose for the most vulnerable in society.

Tbh, I'm livid. This is not hate against anyone wearing one. I don't know why others wear them, but mil has ticked me off today!

I'm just sad that anyone can just pick a lanyard up and wear it.

I believe there should be something new for people with true disabilities!

I've spoken to dp and he's just shrugged me off. I wasn't even wearing a mask today, I usually do but have ran you but you don't have to wear one so don't have to prove anything anymore. No one bats an eyelid if you don't wear one!!

I'm just annoyed. Not sure what the point of this post is.

She's a totally happy healthy woman wearing a stupid lanyard for no reason.

Good on you for being able to do it, but maybe keep your condescending judgements to to yourself. 🤦‍♀️

Ok this is going to be my last comment as as per usual on here if you dare go against the grain you get your arse handed to you. I wasn't attempting to be condescending so I apologise if it came across the way. I was trying to be practical. As the OP has pointed out the sunflower lanyard has lost its use as everyone just assumes its a mask thing. So on the basis there is currently no viable alternative that is recognised across all airports, retail estblishments, public transport there has to be another way. That is not going to be a quick and easy solution so in the mean time people may have to "ask" for the help they need, in whatever form that asking takes. If that is absolutely impossible then its impossible but for a large number of people it will be possible in one way or another.

I absolutely agree. Even though people don't have to wear masks now - people still associate the sunflower lanyard with mask exemption rather than hidden disability.

Many people exploited it in order to not wear a mask which makes it much more difficult for those who use them for genuine purposes. I have a sunflower lanyard as I'm autistic. No way I'd wear it now as people just see it as a way to avoid wearing a mask.
I do wear a mask but then, as you say, that is questioned because "you don't need to wear a mask when you have a lanyard".
It really frustrating.

I was seething when I heard an acquaintance bragging that they have "can't wait" cards when they're in pubs with toilets on another floor, so they can just nip into the accessible loo to save walking up or down the stairs.

They're essential for people with bowel and bladder conditions as they really can't wait to use the toilet.

@Theunamedcat

There were plenty of lanyards on ebay saying mask exempt people just decided to use the sunflower lanyard fwiw my daughter wears one AND a mask we got challenged so often we responded in stereo! "Why are you wearing a mask AND a lanyard" "because the lanyard has nothing to do with mask exemption" people were stunned by the response every time and every time dd explained her adhd didn't stop her wearing a mask it just meant she needed extra help in certain situations

Sure but for some people with autism and sensory perception disorder, it can easily mean that they need this adjustment of not wearing the mask due to extreme discomfort/claustrophobia.

Perhaps your MIL does have a hidden disability and doesn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you about it. Medical histories are private for many people and they aren’t obligated to share that, she could be embarrassed about whatever condition she has.

Sorry, last paragraph was for OP, not Theunamedcat

@Userno36372846

What did your MIL say when you asked her what her disability was?

YANBU they do it for attention which is so ridiculous.

Ignore the posters who think YABU they obviously don’t know anyone with a hidden disability.

Yanbu. They're ruined. My Asd relative wears a mask at school despite not being comfortable with it. Their cousin got a lanyard from the internet because they couldn't be arsed wearing a mask in school- their antivax mother was all for it. Not in England before anyone mentions it, the rest of the UK has very different rules! For now anyway.

@Meatshake

Yes, it makes a big difference. I don't need it to not wear a mask, I need it because I need an extra couple of seconds at the Aldi checkout to stop them throwing stuff at me at 100mph while asking me questions because it gets overwhelming. Because it has been overused though my additional needs are invisible again.

So staff knew what your needs where without you telling them? In that case, staff need to be re-trained on this matter.

The problem is not that the lanyards were used to indicate mask exemption, it's that mask exemption was not regulated in any way at all.

@WonderfulYou

YANBU they do it for attention which is so ridiculous.

Ignore the posters who think YABU they obviously don’t know anyone with a hidden disability.

I have a hidden disability (or three) myself, what a ridiculous assumption.

@3sheep

I'm just sad that anyone can just pick a lanyard up and wear it.

That, too, was part of the original point and purpose. And something those with hidden disabilities always did, and still benefit from.

Not something to be sad about.

Yes, this. I don’t know how people are so certain that others are fraudulently using these lanyards, that’s the whole point of a hidden disability, that it’s not visible. People just seem to love policing others, any dictator would love these sad people with their sad authoritarian impulses.

i wear a sunflower lanyard because i can't wear a mask, the card does say my hidden disability makes me exempt from wearing a mask, i have worn this since the start of the pandemic on the advice of my gp, i have a fear of anything over my face and i got into such a panic it brought on an epileptic seizure, i have been shouted at and called some nasty names because of this. your MIL might be wearing it for no reason, but most people do have a reason, there is so many different lanyards on the sunflower website for different reasons, what do you call a true disability? i could have one for my epilepsy, but i prefer to wear a bracelet, millions of people have a hidden disabilty, just because your MIL choose to use this as an excuse for not wearing a mask does not mean that everyone does.

As someone with a hidden disability - who had a sunflower lanyard (and a RADAR key for quicker access to disabled toilets) - my experience was that the only time staff ever came up to me and asked if I needed any extra help was at airports. No retail staff ever offered any extra support, so I don’t think there was much awareness at all.

AND I also have mobility issues - which are certainly very visible, as well as my more serious hidden problems.

So although I don’t like that people have misused it for mask avoidance, at least the public are now aware it is more than just pretty!

What is a sunflower lanyard?

@Magicandspiders

YABU to be so bothered.

@Magicandspiders You wouldn't be saying this if you had a hidden disability and understood the difficulties people with hidden disabilities face everyday!

Agree with OP they have been mis used and lost any meaning. The sunflower lanyard were a massive help before covid to my DC with autism especially is stressful places like airports. They are useless now and just get ignored.

I have written to the National Autistic Society about it. We really need a specific one for people with autism to help them like the sunflower one did before.

You’re right to be livid.

Not needing/wanting to wear a mask has no bearing on whether you need help shopping etc.

The nicest thing that can be said about people who wear them to avoid masks is that they’re ignorant.
Generally though I think they’re too stupid or nasty to spend the time to think about why the lanyards existed before covid and how messing with the meaning of them creates problems for people who need them.

I had never heard of the sunflower lanyards until folk started using them as showing exempt from mask wearing.
To be honest I am always a bit skeptical when I see someone wearing one just for the reason they are so easy to just buy on Amazon or whatever. Shame they had a genuine meaning which has been lost and abused due to covid and folk trying to get out of wearing a mask

YANBU DD 20 has physical and verbal tics, like tourettes. We rely on her lanyard to stop her being attacked, thrown out of places or even arrested. Especially if she is out by herself. Its important that there is something for people with hidden disabilities.

Meant to say, her lanyard was issued with a photo card that clips on to it stating her disabilities though. It was issued by the local NHS Trust, not bought on Ebay.

I get your frustration. Some were using lanyards because they were ideologically opposed to masks rather than being genuinely exempt from wearing them. Totally unfair as arseholes near me ended up shouting abuse at the genuinely exempt and people needing other kinds of support. The system definitely needs a rethink.

I think people who had a genuine reason to have a lanyard and not to wear a mask actually wore masks because they were too scared not too, as CEV I did. Many people had lanyards for lots of reasons mostly because they didn't want to wear a mask. lanyard wearers protested to much about their 'rights', how they'couldnt breath' (how do surgeons cope ?) how they 'don't work anyway'...all sorts of pathetic reason imo. I'm still wearing a mask now as I have a chronic lung condition...a lanyards not gonna stop you getting jack shite!

@Hellocatshome

*"Ask for help?" What about people with autism who are non verbal?*

Oh FFS I said teach him how to ask for help, if a person is non verbal that would take the form of showing someone an access card or similar explaining what help they need. There will always be a "what if" what if they are deaf, blind, non verbal and have no arms or legs? I cant wrote a post covering every what if!

An autistic child that is in the middle of a meltdown cannot ask for help. An autistic child who has run away from a parent in a meltdown is at crisis point and at risk from harm and is certainly not in a position toask for help. The lanyard was also supposed to be there to stop the stares, and for staff to be more considerate, possibly offer a checkout without a queue.

I completely agree. Their overuse has devalued them.
The reason they were introduced was so that people with hidden disabilities didn't have to constantly explain and ask for help. It made to process of accessing additional support much easier and it made people feel more comfortable about asking. It made organisations work harder to identify people who might need extra help and offer it proactively rather than waiting for them to seek it.

The people wearing it to avoid wearing a mask (legitimately or not) would have had no idea of the impact their use of it would have had on so many other people.

I hope that now that mask rules have been dropped, that many people will shove them away in a drawer and forget they own them.