Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sunflower lanyard mis-use.

89 replies

Userno36372846 · 26/02/2022 17:59

I know this has probably been said to death. But I want to vent.

I would like to begin with that Ds 11 has a hidden disability. He has worn a sunflower lanyard for the original purpose of showing you may need additional support in shops/airport etc! I feel they are now useless.

They had a purpose way before the pandemic but sadly I feel like the true meaning has been lost and everyone just thinks it's mask exemption, yet many who have a sunflower lanyard can wear a mask but are questioned why they wear a mask, if they have a lanyard 🤯

So much so, Ds hasn't really worn his at all recently. I sadly feel the true meaning is loss which is quite sad as around way longer than pandemic anyway.

Today we bumped into mil whilst out shopping, we are pretty close to her and know she does not have a hidden disability or she's keeping some secrets from us - She had a sunflower lanyard on - just because she doesn't want to wear a mask it seems.

  1. Masks aren't event mandatory. Even if you are exempt you don't need to prove it.
  1. She does not have a hidden disability. She does not have any illness or condition (unless she's kept it very secret) that stops her from wearing a mask. We've been out with her lots in the last year or two and she's always worn a mask. So why the lanyard now when it's not mandatory?
  1. I have been tried to advocate the true meaning of the lanyard on my Facebook, which she would have seen. Not trying to act like a know it all. But I feel they no longer serve a purpose for the most vulnerable in society.

Tbh, I'm livid. This is not hate against anyone wearing one. I don't know why others wear them, but mil has ticked me off today!

I'm just sad that anyone can just pick a lanyard up and wear it.

I believe there should be something new for people with true disabilities!

I've spoken to dp and he's just shrugged me off. I wasn't even wearing a mask today, I usually do but have ran you but you don't have to wear one so don't have to prove anything anymore. No one bats an eyelid if you don't wear one!!

I'm just annoyed. Not sure what the point of this post is.

She's a totally happy healthy woman wearing a stupid lanyard for no reason.

OP posts:
Lalastepmum · 26/02/2022 18:27

I had never heard of them until pandemic and thought they were for those not wearing mask. It was only when my daughter pointed it out to me when I was complaining about someone not wearing a mask.
I think it would be good to keep sharing that info.

RozHuntleysStump · 26/02/2022 18:37

My autistic son doesn’t wear a lanyard. If he needs help from anyone other than me, I just say ‘he’s autistic’ could you help with whatever”.

danni0509 · 26/02/2022 18:37

I agree, we had one at the airport 4 or 5 years ago for my ds. To let the airport staff know my ds had a disability, although that would of been clearly evident, but the idea was the airport staff see your lanyard and come and offer help. TUI arranged it for us after we’d filled the disabled passenger form in upon booking, it was to alert people to the fact my ds would need assistance, we didn’t have to queue for check in and he was first on the plane etc. Useful to have.

I’d never seen one before then. Now I see every other person with one around their neck, and personally know at least 3 people with fuck all wrong with them wearing them (or was when the masks rules were in place) to get out of wearing a mask.

Deffo nothing wrong with the ones I’m talking about before anyone says ‘hidden disability’.

Just simply above the rules and bought lanyards as their excuse!

gamerchick · 26/02/2022 18:38

Nobody ever really know the meaning of them before covid anyway. What extra help in a retail environment would an 11 year old need

Understanding in the middle of a meltdown? Clearing the area from stares, asking the parent/carer if they need some help? Shit happens.

Karma1981 · 26/02/2022 18:48

I know exactly what you mean, my 15 year old has Autism and learning disabilities and he won't wear his any more.
Infact he does wear a mask (to much tbh) and people look at him strange because used to have the lanyard on and a mask.
People needed something for masks, should of been something else though, even a different colour lanyard.
You won't need to wear mask any more but my son will always have Autism and learning disabilities and the lanyard means nothing now for people like him.

flourella · 26/02/2022 18:52

Some people may have hidden disabilities but do not generally need or want assistance or attention from people and so did not feel the need to wear a lanyard until the rules on mask wearing was brought in. I don't think you can take issue with those people (of whom I am one). The lanyard I bought is a sunflower lanyard which specifically says "face covering exempt" so the person who told you to get such a thing was being perfectly reasonable because they exist and they are "purely for mask exemption".

Their use was promoted by the media and the Hidden Disabilities shop which makes them. If some people bought or picked up a generic sunflower lanyard, because they thought they were all the same or didn't want to pay for a specific one when the generic ones are given away for free in some places, I don't think they can be blamed any more than the shop to be honest. Or the government for not making it better known that they had a thing on their website that you could print off. Although people who used any of the available options for no reason other than they couldn't be arsed with the rules is clearly a prick.

There was at least one other made by a company called Disability Horizons; I bought one of those as well and that's the one I've worn on display to medical appointments because of this issue. But day to day it's the sunflower card I keep in my pocket (never worn it in shops etc), along with a letter I have, because that is the one that has become most easily recognisable. Not saying that's not a bit shit for people who use it for reasons other than mask exemption, but hopefully people's perception of it will change as the attention on COVID dwindles, and there might even end up being better awareness of the sunflower lanyard's original purpose.

elliejjtiny · 26/02/2022 18:52

Yanbu. I have dc with autism and this drives me mad. One of my dc is deaf so I have a blue lanyard with mask exempt written on it with a card attached that says I'm a carer for a deaf child. I haven't needed to wear it yet though as ds usually manages to hear me as long as I speak clearly and he is wearing his hearing aids.

verybadhairdoo · 26/02/2022 18:53

I've recently got a sunflower lanyard and card. The card clearly states the disability and when wearing it NOBODY has made ANY accommodations. Quite useless really.

TroysMammy · 26/02/2022 18:54

I agree that the original reason for one has been lost and hijacked. I work in a GP surgery where masks must be worn unless exempt. One patient when I asked "do you have a mask or are you exempt?" She showed me her sunflower lanyard which was attached to her handbag.

I know someone who is autistic, he doesn't have a lanyard and however difficult it might be for him, he wears a mask where he should.

Hellocatshome · 26/02/2022 18:54

People just think my son wears one to be exempt from masks, he wears it to signify he might need extra support!

He's 11 what extra help does he need in shops/airports that you can't communicate for him? Unless his additional needs prevent him from doing so I really think you need to teach him how to ask for the help he needs and not rely on a lanyard that even before the pandemic and Tom, Dick or Harry could buy on ebay.

gamerchick · 26/02/2022 19:01

@Hellocatshome

People just think my son wears one to be exempt from masks, he wears it to signify he might need extra support!

He's 11 what extra help does he need in shops/airports that you can't communicate for him? Unless his additional needs prevent him from doing so I really think you need to teach him how to ask for the help he needs and not rely on a lanyard that even before the pandemic and Tom, Dick or Harry could buy on ebay.

Are you having a laugh? Hmm aren't you fortunate you don't have a clue what you're on about. Count those blessings man.
AmberGer · 26/02/2022 19:02

My son has hidden disabilities. We've just applied for and received an access card for him, which I think will be more useful than the sunflower lanyard ever was as we had to send proof of his disabilities to claim it. It gives it more credibility.

Hellocatshome · 26/02/2022 19:03

Are you having a laugh? hmm aren't you fortunate you don't have a clue what you're on about. Count those blessings man.

Erm no I'm not having a laugh and I do have additional needs and was taught from a young age to ask for help if I need it, if I had a child with additional needs I would teach them to do the same. I'm not quite sure eat your problem is Hmm

ofwarren · 26/02/2022 19:04

@Hellocatshome

Are you having a laugh? hmm aren't you fortunate you don't have a clue what you're on about. Count those blessings man.

Erm no I'm not having a laugh and I do have additional needs and was taught from a young age to ask for help if I need it, if I had a child with additional needs I would teach them to do the same. I'm not quite sure eat your problem is Hmm

"Ask for help?"
What about people with autism who are non verbal?

Hellocatshome · 26/02/2022 19:08

"Ask for help?"
What about people with autism who are non verbal?

Oh FFS I said teach him how to ask for help, if a person is non verbal that would take the form of showing someone an access card or similar explaining what help they need. There will always be a "what if" what if they are deaf, blind, non verbal and have no arms or legs? I cant wrote a post covering every what if!

3sheep · 26/02/2022 19:08

I'm just sad that anyone can just pick a lanyard up and wear it.

That, too, was part of the original point and purpose. And something those with hidden disabilities always did, and still benefit from.

Not something to be sad about.

Original poster
Userno36372846 · 26/02/2022 19:09

@Hellocatshome

People just think my son wears one to be exempt from masks, he wears it to signify he might need extra support!

He's 11 what extra help does he need in shops/airports that you can't communicate for him? Unless his additional needs prevent him from doing so I really think you need to teach him how to ask for the help he needs and not rely on a lanyard that even before the pandemic and Tom, Dick or Harry could buy on ebay.

He doesn't wear it anymore as pointless.

Speech and language delays are a barrier to asking for help. My son was non verbal until 5 and still speech and language delayed still now. Sometimes in panic he goes mute anyway. Yes I'm always with him but sometimes you haven't got time to explain. We've not had any major issues tbf but there's been a couple times it's been handy in the past like when he was anxious about going to the toilet over the hand dryers going off, a cleaner helped me greatly so he can use the loo calmly. We have not been to an airport but a lanyard could mean that it shows they might struggle to wait it queue etc. I don't expect special treatment but there are those times it could be handy.

This is the problem. People can buy them on eBay.

OP posts:
ENoeuf · 26/02/2022 19:09

I for us it wasn’t so much my child would ask for extra specific help it was more a visual clue that he may behave unpredictably due to needs and often we would get airport staff letting us use accessible systems without asking - saves the whole ‘explaining my child’s medical history in front of earwiggers thing’. It’s not as easy as ‘oh this but of the transaction is hard I will ask for help now’ because for my child the whole environment might be tough/ someone might come too close/ use a triggering word / etc.’

ofwarren · 26/02/2022 19:09

@Hellocatshome

*"Ask for help?" What about people with autism who are non verbal?*

Oh FFS I said teach him how to ask for help, if a person is non verbal that would take the form of showing someone an access card or similar explaining what help they need. There will always be a "what if" what if they are deaf, blind, non verbal and have no arms or legs? I cant wrote a post covering every what if!

In the middle of a meltdown, no autistic person is going to be able think, "hang on, best flash my access card"

gamerchick · 26/02/2022 19:10

@Hellocatshome

Are you having a laugh? hmm aren't you fortunate you don't have a clue what you're on about. Count those blessings man.

Erm no I'm not having a laugh and I do have additional needs and was taught from a young age to ask for help if I need it, if I had a child with additional needs I would teach them to do the same. I'm not quite sure eat your problem is Hmm

If you have additional needs then you would still know there are some who aren't as fortunate as you to be able to ask for help, some people can't. Just because you can, don't assume your kid will be able to. Never assume.
Starlightstarbright1 · 26/02/2022 19:12

I feel the same.. i do worl for a major retail store and part of tge induction training is the true meaning of tge sunflower lanyard..

I am revelling with my Ds in April and hope their are considerably less in the airport as it has been really helpful their

Meatshake · 26/02/2022 19:13

Yes, it makes a big difference. I don't need it to not wear a mask, I need it because I need an extra couple of seconds at the Aldi checkout to stop them throwing stuff at me at 100mph while asking me questions because it gets overwhelming. Because it has been overused though my additional needs are invisible again.

Cognoscenti · 26/02/2022 19:16

@Hellocatshome

People just think my son wears one to be exempt from masks, he wears it to signify he might need extra support!

He's 11 what extra help does he need in shops/airports that you can't communicate for him? Unless his additional needs prevent him from doing so I really think you need to teach him how to ask for the help he needs and not rely on a lanyard that even before the pandemic and Tom, Dick or Harry could buy on ebay.

Oh good, I only wish I'd been taught to ask for help! Oh wait, I was, and although I know it's what is usually done, there are plenty situations where I still can't do it. Funnily enough, being physically capable of doing something doesn't always mean you can... and hidden disabilities aren't a one side fits all thing. Good on you for being able to do it, but maybe keep your condescending judgements to to yourself. 🤦‍♀️
BabyTurtIe · 26/02/2022 19:18

I don’t make my daughter wear one for extra help it’s so that people are aware she has a disability and may act in a certain way that causes people to stare and give us bad looks and even comments, I was fed up of having to explain to people she has autism to explain her behaviour as people would often comment.

MissMaple82 · 26/02/2022 19:21

Buy your own more specific badge if you feel the lanyard has lost its "true meaning"

Swipe left for the next trending thread