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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offensive Eminem blasting out!

31 replies

BogeyNose · 26/02/2022 10:47

I run an online dog group and every weekend we do a fun dog show (such as funniest dog photo, best puppy eyes etc) as well as weekend competitions. The competitions involve members posting videos of tricks I’ve been teaching on the group in the week.

This morning a video was posted by a member and in the background she has Eminem “criminal” blasting out. Every lyric is clearly heard including “these fucking reds” and “I’ll stab you in the head whether you’re a fg or lez” 😱

I got a complaint immediately from someone who had started watching the video with her 7 year old daughter. I removed it straight away and sent a message to the poster telling her why I’d deleted it. She replied saying she didn’t have time to redo the video and felt it was unfair that she’s essentially been removed from the competition because of background noise.

Was I being unreasonable to remove it?? I suggested she mute it and repost but she said she’d deleted the video after posting to make room on her phone.

YABU - shouldn’t have deleted it, kids aren’t meant to be on the group
YANBU - it was offensive, needed to be deleted.

OP posts:
DearlyBeloathed · 26/02/2022 10:48

Bit OTT.

Original poster
BogeyNose · 26/02/2022 10:49

OTT to have deleted it? Shit I feel bad now 😞

OP posts:
Creeeper · 26/02/2022 10:50

Ask the member to redo the video but with the dog rapping instead, that would be more impressive

Juniper68 · 26/02/2022 10:50

Had everyone already seen it?

She shouldn't have had it on tbh.

LaLaLouella · 26/02/2022 10:51

You were right to delete it - it's extremely offensive.

If she wants to enter the competition she either removes the sound or re-records it without the 'background noise' inviting violence against marginalised people.

Stick to your guns on this!

HotWaterAndLemon · 26/02/2022 10:51

Your group your rules.

If I had a customer complain I would have deleted it too.

ClariceQuiff · 26/02/2022 10:51

Why didn't the woman watching with her DD simply mute the volume?

Dillidalli · 26/02/2022 10:52

Couldn’t you just pop a warning on suggesting people mute it? Or on Tik tok you can actually get rid of the original sound. It’s really simple to do.

SoupDragon · 26/02/2022 10:52

I don't think it was OTT at all to remove something with offensive lyrics. Nasty homophobic and ablist slurs.

ThisIsGroundControl · 26/02/2022 10:52

It is easy for her to post without sound. What you have written is offensive regardless of age of person watching

MrsTimRiggins · 26/02/2022 10:53

Deleting it without speaking to the person who posted it first was a bit shit and to be honest, unless you made the rules clear (ie no explicit music etc) then it possibly didn’t even occur to her. Oftentimes if you don’t have children, your first thought isn’t to consider children in every aspect of your life.
Also, a seven year old shouldn’t be on Facebook (it’s Facebook isn’t it?) altho I can’t really blame the mum for thinking dog videos were safe I suppose.
I’m getting splinters in my bum from sitting on the fence!

tttigress · 26/02/2022 10:53

I think you were right

Regularsizedrudy · 26/02/2022 10:54

You did the right thing

tttigress · 26/02/2022 10:54

Some sort of dog show thing, is the sort of thing you would watch with children. Also adults may not be keen on swearing.

StarsAndSugarlumps · 26/02/2022 10:56

Of course it was OK to delete it.

PermanentTemporary · 26/02/2022 10:58

I don't think your reaction was wrong. You offered a way forward, not your fault she deleted it.

There's a lot of deliberately offensive music out there. Few adults want to hear it unexpectedly.

I'd just add to the competition blurb that it's a bit of fun and to make sure backgrounds and music are suitable for all ages to watch.

ThisBear · 26/02/2022 11:02

I think you were right, it's not hard to avoid playing sweary music for a few minutes to record a video. If it's usually family friendly pet content nobody is going to expect to mute it just in case. Even without kids you can have a sense of what's broadly appropriate for a mixed audience.

TheVanguardSix · 26/02/2022 11:03

Do your users read through and agree to follow a very transparent list of rules (drawn up by you) before joining your group?

balalake · 26/02/2022 11:03

Even though it may have been unintentional, you were right to raise it.

EenieWeenie · 26/02/2022 11:04

I would have deleted it too.
What's the prize though >nosey

PincushionTime · 26/02/2022 11:05

Deleting it without speaking to the person who posted it first was a bit shit and to be honest, unless you made the rules clear (ie no explicit music etc) then it possibly didn’t even occur to her.

Do people really need to be told not to include explicit music? Surely it's obvious? It's a dog group not a dogging group.

TootsAtOwls · 26/02/2022 11:05

I wouldn't want to get a blast of offensiveness lyrics of I played a dog do and I'm not a child!

Of course it was fine to delete it. Maybe she'll think it through for 2 seconds next time.

TheVanguardSix · 26/02/2022 11:05

By the way, you're not wrong, OP. I think you have an image and reputation you wish to adhere to. But if you haven't been transparent with users regarding the 'house rules', then this is a good lesson and a chance to start ensuring new joiners are aware of the group's code of conduct. It is amazing, but some people really need to be guided as to how to behave.

ThisIsGroundControl · 26/02/2022 11:11

Pincushion Grin

AmyandPhilipfan · 26/02/2022 11:12

Stick to your guns OP. You make the rules, not her. If you want to delete a video for whatever reason that is up to you and if she doesn’t like it she can go elsewhere.

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