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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Trip to Disneyland

43 replies

Hanpie77 · 25/02/2022 22:38

My brother and his partner have sprung a surprise trip to Disneyland for my 3 children on me.

We don't have a close relationship although I have tried to invite him to dinner, meet up with them etc. They pop by briefly several times a year on their way to other places and always have an excuse for not having lunch or a coffee. They do always remember to buy the kids expensive birthday presents though.

I am annoyed by them surprising us with such an expensive trip that we couldn't afford ourselves at the moment, especially as they usually don't make an effort to spend time with the children. I haven't said anything to them about the surprise as I am not supposed to know yet. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 25/02/2022 22:41

Yes, isn’t that a nice thing to do? Why are you annoyed about it? Is it for you too or are they just taking the kids?

Kitkat151 · 25/02/2022 22:52

Are they paying? Very generous I would say

AnakinthePadawhine · 25/02/2022 22:54

This seems really nice. Are they trying to be closer to you and your kids?
If there is no crazy backstory, I would be very happy.

Carbiesdreamhouse · 25/02/2022 22:56

Its weird. If they wanted to genuinly treat you they'd allow you some say in it. To arrange it all behind your back is controlling.

drpet49 · 25/02/2022 22:58

Very generous for him to pay. You sound ungrateful.

stimpyyouidiot · 25/02/2022 22:58

I would love for someone to take me and my dd to Disneyland so..... 🤷‍♀️

Dishwashersaurous · 25/02/2022 22:58

That is the most incredibly generous gift. If they are genuinely organising a paying for a trip to Disney land for you and three children then they will be spending thousands and thousands. Flights to california alone will be a small fortune.

All you say is thank you.

BigPurpleEgg · 25/02/2022 23:00

Are they planning to take them without you? I wouldn't let my kids go abroad with my sister and BIL because they're not close enough so would be a waste of money for them to book it as they couldnt go. If they're paying for you as well then you seem highly ungrateful

dolorsit · 25/02/2022 23:02

Are they taking you or is it just your children?

Have they already booked the dates?

LawnFever · 25/02/2022 23:02

Are they proposing they take the kids, or you do? If they are, and they’re not close will the kids be ok with that?

Do you still need to provide spending money? Even if they’re very generously covering the trip spends on top will be ££

3luckystars · 25/02/2022 23:04

Yes you are.
They might not actually be good with children or might have their own issues going on but are showing they care in the way they can.

Say thank you and enjoy it.

cheddez · 25/02/2022 23:04

I'd be ecstatic !

RealBecca · 25/02/2022 23:05

Without you, no not ok.

Maybe they show love with money and gifts instead of time.

Unless they are genuine aresholes you dont want to see again I think you need to think about whether it comes from a kind place or not.

If you feel bad because you cant afford it then do you think they have done it maliciously? Or thoughtlessly not realising not everyone can or does do that.

autienotnaughty · 25/02/2022 23:08

It depends is it a holiday for you and kids no strings attached? Or is it them and kids? Or all of you?

You need to decide what you want to happen before kids find out.

AdobeWanKenobi · 25/02/2022 23:11

Expensive gifts? Trips to Disney? Ooooo the bastards.

FirstTimeSecondTime · 25/02/2022 23:14

Are they going too, or just you and your kids?

Whaddayuthnk · 25/02/2022 23:17

I'm a bit confused as to why you're annoyed, as surely they will be spending a lot of time with the kids on the holiday? So wouldn't that make up for the fact you don't see each other much? Could be a bonding experience. Is there more to this? Surely your kids won't know the financial side of things and this would be great for them?

DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 25/02/2022 23:20

Its very odd to book a trip for your children without consulting you. I understand why you're uncomfortable with it.

3luckystars · 25/02/2022 23:21

‘ Expensive gifts? Trips to Disney? Ooooo the bastards.’

GrinGrinGrin

PriamFarrl · 25/02/2022 23:23

I can understand why it feel odd. They don’t want to see you but they will throw money at you.

hm1610 · 25/02/2022 23:24

@Hanpie77

My brother and his partner have sprung a surprise trip to Disneyland for my 3 children on me.

We don't have a close relationship although I have tried to invite him to dinner, meet up with them etc. They pop by briefly several times a year on their way to other places and always have an excuse for not having lunch or a coffee. They do always remember to buy the kids expensive birthday presents though.

I am annoyed by them surprising us with such an expensive trip that we couldn't afford ourselves at the moment, especially as they usually don't make an effort to spend time with the children. I haven't said anything to them about the surprise as I am not supposed to know yet. Am I being unreasonable?

Are you expected to provide spending money that you might not be able to? No judgement just trying to understand the scenario
3luckystars · 25/02/2022 23:25

The scenario is that she doesn’t really like them and now this.

Nannyamc · 25/02/2022 23:28

Is it Paris or Florida?
My ds brought his 2 kids this week. Spent 2500 euro on top of fares and tickets. They all lived it.

Bayleaf25 · 25/02/2022 23:28

Do you mean just the kids or you too?

ChipButtyCurrySauce · 25/02/2022 23:29

Given that they don't spend any time with your children I'd be reluctant to allow them to go unless they are taking you too. I would never have allowed my Sister to take my kids as she often allowed her kids to wander off and would regularly lose them!