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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - Trip to Disneyland

43 replies

Hanpie77 · 25/02/2022 22:38

My brother and his partner have sprung a surprise trip to Disneyland for my 3 children on me.

We don't have a close relationship although I have tried to invite him to dinner, meet up with them etc. They pop by briefly several times a year on their way to other places and always have an excuse for not having lunch or a coffee. They do always remember to buy the kids expensive birthday presents though.

I am annoyed by them surprising us with such an expensive trip that we couldn't afford ourselves at the moment, especially as they usually don't make an effort to spend time with the children. I haven't said anything to them about the surprise as I am not supposed to know yet. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

TrashyPanda · 25/02/2022 23:36

Lucky kids!

Flights alone for 5 people to California, let alone Disneyland, is going to cost a fortune.

Very kind and generous.

Nelliephant1 · 25/02/2022 23:39

If they're taking you then maybe it's fair enough but if it's the kids without you then that's not on without lots of discussion before booking.

They're your children to make memories with. Just because it's not financially doable just now, doesn't mean that it won't be forever.

hellcatspangle · 25/02/2022 23:41

Why's everyone assuming the OP is in the uk?

ouch321 · 25/02/2022 23:47

@hellcatspangle

Why's everyone assuming the OP is in the uk?

This is a UK website so where else would we assume they are...

hellcatspangle · 25/02/2022 23:52

It might well be a uk website but there are loads of people on here from the states (and elsewhere)

Kylie83 · 25/02/2022 23:59

@ouch321 I am from Australia, just to prove its not all UK based.

Hopefullyoneday12 · 26/02/2022 00:01

Don't really see what they've done wrong?
If this was someone you liked you'd be thrilled

Totalwasteofpaper · 26/02/2022 00:49

I'd be delighted but suspicious....

What EXACTLY are they covering? What does accommodation look like? (ie 5 of of you sharing 2 x sofa beds in a living room in an apartment for a week won't be the best) what transport is involved?

Because I have been burned more than once by family members with this kind of thing...one "free holiday" memorably cost £2k 😑

Marvellousmadness · 26/02/2022 00:54

Right

Ace56 · 26/02/2022 00:59

Agree that it depends on whether or not you’re invited too. If not, that’s a bit weird if your children don’t really know them…how old are the kids?

Aquamarine1029 · 26/02/2022 01:13

This is a UK website so where else would we assume they are...

@ouch321 People from all over the world use this site. This is news to you?

phishy · 26/02/2022 01:52

@Aquamarine1029

This is a UK website so where else would we assume they are...

@ouch321 People from all over the world use this site. This is news to you?

It’s not our job to ask where people are from. It’s a UK run website used mostly by people from the UK.

And I wasn’t born in the UK but I would assume the poster is in the UK unless they use international terms.

Valeriekat · 26/02/2022 04:54

How old are the kids.
It sounds weird and I wouldn't be happy for them to take the children without me.

RedRobin100 · 26/02/2022 05:06

@PriamFarrl

I can understand why it feel odd. They don’t want to see you but they will throw money at you.

Agree

However if it’s coming from a place of kindness, don’t immediately disregard, maybe they just value gifts and presents over time etc.

I would obvsiouky want to know more details.. does it include you? Will you be expected to contribute (and therefore under pressure) etc?

BritWifeInUSA · 26/02/2022 05:15

@hellcatspangle

It might well be a uk website but there are loads of people on here from the states (and elsewhere)

Yes, USA here checking in…

BritWifeInUSA · 26/02/2022 05:20

@hellcatspangle

Why's everyone assuming the OP is in the uk?

It’s still a very generous gift even if she’s not. I live a lot closer to Disneyland than anyone in the UK and it would still cost a lot to take a family there. Park tickets, hotel, flights, insurance…

BeckonCall · 26/02/2022 05:59

All things being equal (we can't possibly know the full complexities of the relationship), it sounds like you have different love languages. They show love with expensive gifts, while you appreciate quality time.

I would try to swallow my pride on this one and be grateful for the sake of the kids.

If you can't afford all the extras like spending money etc then just say you can't afford it, therefore they can't go.

hellcatspangle · 27/02/2022 07:56

I'm not suggesting it's not generous. I'm just saying there's a difference between someone offering to take the kids for a day at Disney if they live within driving distance (fine, I'd be happy with that) and someone offering to take your kids on an international jaunt for a fortnight without you (I wouldn't be allowing that)

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