Can I please ask how to not look dim at work?

FangsForTheMemory · 25/02/2022 21:01

One thing I have always found useful is, if someone is explaining a process to me, I draw it out as a diagram in a notebook. So it might be 'person A gives this to person B who inputs the data and the person with responsibility for C, D and E does the next bit'. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking notes of a conversation and reading them back at the end of the conversation to make sure you've got everything straight. Then you have it in writing to remind yourself.

ThePoint678 · 25/02/2022 21:05

I agree with taking notes or diagrams or whatever can work for you and then using that to clarify at the end of the discussion that you have it right. I’m always nervous of someone who says they get it but haven’t written it down or confirmed.

And seriously stop putting yourself down. You’re not stupid or dim and you need to speak to yourself kindly. Having a little more confidence in yourself will help you too x

ClingClingDin · 25/02/2022 21:08

Yes to taking notes, ideally on the computer, it's easier to make sense of. Also, at the end of your working day, write down all the to dos for the next day (or the next few days), list them and include links if necessary or names of documents. If you work part-time, it's easy to forget lots. Are you at all able to increase your hours?

You don't sound dim at all it's ok not to get everything many people are not very good at explaining things. I consider myself reasonably switched on work wise but when people start explaining things I don't alway fully get it.

Routines, read up on your subject area, do some tarring on linked in or buy a book. You'll get there, you'll be fab.

qualitygirl · 25/02/2022 21:09

Step 1.Take notes
Step 2.Repeat the instruction back
Step 3. This one is harder to do but you need to stop overthinking...when they are answering you, stop thinking about NOT understanding them. Relax and take in as much as you can and do steps 1 and 2 to help it stick!!

Original poster

sparklins · 25/02/2022 21:23

Thank you! The other day someone said ''oh! you'll just have to put it through as gibberish then transfer through to database as gibberish and you'll have to do it for each one it won't take you too long'' and I was literally sat there like o.0

OP posts:

Moonflower12 · 25/02/2022 22:12

If you're stuck in something, could you ask the explanation to be emailed to you? Then you might have more time/ thinking space to analyse the information?
Especially if you're wfh.

Moonflower12 · 25/02/2022 22:13

*on

Fusillage · 25/02/2022 22:19

Notes all the way! I am relatively senior and even if someone comes in to ask something simple, I always start with notes. It helps embed it in my brain and then I have something to go back to, invaluable if you are already stressed when someone is talking. Also, really have more faith in yourself, new stuff is always gibberish!

lostinabook · 25/02/2022 22:20

People's brains process information differently in different ways at different speeds. For example does visual help help you? I.e. diagrams, pictures or actually seeing them do something....in which case you could phrase it like this "I have realised I am a visual learner in things, can you show me how you would do it? " Or "I am going to draw myself a diagram as an aide memoire" OR Even "I swear it takes me longer to get these things at the beginning!" Acknowledging your slower processing speed bit also that you will get there once it is not new to you
Lastly when they have explained say "If I get stuck can I come back to you for help?" 99.99% people will say SURE!

TimeForTeaAndG · 25/02/2022 22:25

You are 2 months in a job with a custom built system. You are not going to know everything and that is ok.

When you hear "gibberish" ask what they mean. People quickly forget how little they knew and what was confusing so it's ok to make them step back and think about what they are explaining.

Don't talk yourself down, ask for help and clarification. Ignoring holes in your knowledge and burying your head is what will lose you the job. Ask different people about the same process as they will all explain it differently. If you click with the way someone explains it, ask them if it's ok for you to run over a couple other processes with them as they've explained it really well (people like to feel useful).

You've got this!

bridgetreilly · 25/02/2022 22:26

Ask if they can show you an example while you watch?

Hyperkit · 25/02/2022 22:38

Ask if you can record the call when they show you the process. Just say “would you mind if we record this so I can refer back to it!”. Common request in my workplace, and we are very technical

heelforheelandtoefortoe · 25/02/2022 22:49

are you sure you aren't very smart, or that maybe you simply have imposter syndrome? They gave you the job so they must believe you can do it. I'm sure you are better than you think. We all work in different ways. Its the outcome that matters.

Holskey · 25/02/2022 22:55

It's your confidence that's the issue, not your intelligence (unless of course you're actually incapable of grasping it, in which case you should quit, but that doesnt seem to be the issue).

Keep asking for clarification confidently. Smart people do this all the time and they don't think doing so will make them look stupid. If you're speaking confidently and unashamedly asking for further explanation, nobody will assume it's because you're stupid, because that's not how stupid people behave.

InconvenientPeg · 25/02/2022 23:02

Work out your way of processing. I started a new job the other week, and every training meeting, the person has said 'oh you don't need to take notes'. But I do, otherwise I won't remember any of it! I know I need to scribble notes, I don't even necessarily refer to them, but I need to write them to get them into my head.

Find out what works for you.

TambourineTimesThree · 25/02/2022 23:51

I work with outwardly very confident Americans who appear very competent, but don't seem to 'get' stuff as quickly as other colleagues.
But it's not a problem. Everyone's different, and literally nobody can know everything.

These lovely confident Americans will say 'this might be a stupid question, but could you remind me what x means and how it relates to y?' Sometimes I'm surprised because we discussed it recently, but I'm always happy they ask so we can get the job done right fist time.

Before we close a conversation, they'll say 'Can I just play that back to make sure I have it right?' before repeating back in their own words what they understood. Allowing me to quickly clear up any misunderstanding.

Basically, what I'm saying is that you shouldn't worry about getting everything straight away. It's normal. In fact, your colleagues are being remiss if they don't provide enough resources so you can do the job confidently. In fact, I'd make sure my manager knows by giving onboarding feed back. It's only by telling someone that there aren't any/enough resources that they'll realise.

And secondly, build in techniques to make sure you get the information you need. Repeat the task in your own words (with sketches or whatever works) and ask questions until you're clear. It's much more efficient to take a little time to get better understanding at the outset than to re-do work or fix errors.

Mikeythecat · 26/02/2022 00:02

You sound very bright. Don't put yourself down. There are some great tips on here. You can SO do this!

PoshPyjamas · 26/02/2022 00:44

Remember - finding and hiring someone new is a MASSIVE FAFF and a MASSIVE RISK! If you are a pleasant person they like having around then they would absolutely prefer to keep you on snd explain things until you get it. So long as once you've 'got it' you're competent, then you don't need to worry about losing your job!

Happyhappyday · 26/02/2022 00:58

Do you learn better by doing than by being told? I had a boss who would show me formulas in excel and I literally absorbed nothing. I AM very capable and still nothing. I smiled and nodded until I could go google it myself. You might just learn in a different way. I need someone to let me do the typing on the computer but talk me through it or if I can look it up independently, to work through it myself.

Hawkins001 · 26/02/2022 01:00

@sparklins

Apologies I did not know which topic to post in...

I am not very smart, but I have landed my perfect job a couple of months ago. Lovely boss, small company, growing.
I am part time as opposed to pretty much everyone else who is FT and I WFH apart from the odd day in the office.
Without being too outing I do a type of data inputting.

Unfortunately I am not very smart and it usually takes me a while to wrap my head around something that others just ''get'' - but also unfortunately I unintentionally come across super capable even when I have no idea.
My issue is that when I sometimes try to clarify something or work out the best way to do something I have the hardest time following someone talking to me about it or explaining something. Especially as they are all always on the ball being FT and more up to date with the systems we work on (which are custom built for this company so I can't even try to google tutorials or any instructions). I feel desperately out of my depth in comparison to everyone else who just gets on I usually just pretend I understand in fear of feeling like an idiot.

I am not very good with words or even explaining myself and I am now terrified of burying my head in the sand until I lose this brilliant job.
The company is very relaxed and laid back and they talk that way too - taking this into consideration could anyone suggest good ways for me to ask for clarification aka for it to be explained to me like they are explaining it to and idiot (that I am) without making myself sound completely stupid or admitting that I am just not very smart?

I am capable of doing the majority of the work but it becomes trickier when there is something that requires stepping away from the usual way of doing things/something that needs an additional or different way of inputting and I need to discuss the best way to do it with someone.

With a custom system, is there a way to try different methods or ideas, then write down your notes of what achieved x, ect ?

MintJulia · 26/02/2022 01:11

Stop worrying. If your company is half-way decent, there is no such thing as a stupid question.

And if you're fast and accurate at data entry, you are worth your weight. I spent today explaining to the sales team that if they don't fill in database fields, we won't be able to do basic searches and it negates the whole purpose of having a database.

You'll be fine. Good luck,

Libertybear80 · 26/02/2022 01:19

Ask them to show you. Just say when you explained X I didn't quite follow you. Just be honest about how you process new information.

WTF475878237NC · 26/02/2022 01:20

If my new colleague or subordinate said "sorry I didn't get that, can you explain it a different way/ help me draw out a flow diagram/ observe me doing it? etc I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

k1233 · 26/02/2022 01:36

Maybe ask of they could spare 5mins to sit with you as you try to do it yourself. Say something like, "I think I've got it but it would be great if you could sit with me while I do the first couple so I don't mess it up."

I'd much prefer that than someone not understanding and then stuffing it up. Usually that's how I train people on practical stuff. It makes sense as they're doing it, not listening to you telling them how to do it and misinterpreting.

Graphista · 26/02/2022 02:04

It sounds like

You learn better by doing than being told

You need to stop worrying about LOOKING foolish by asking at the risk of BEING foolish by not asking!

They will be much less impressed if you make a major mistake than if you fess up and go "I know I've asked this a million times but can you walk me through it again please"

Create your own "idiots guide" I've done that in every bespoke admin role I've done!

It can look as daft as :

Step 1 - computer on (don't do x until you've checked y is working correctly today 1st)

Step 2 - double check figure a matches figure f

Flow Charts whatever works for you we ALL have to learn and we ALL have daft blindspots! I can do basic arithmetic but ask me how to calculate how much the vat was on something based on the total and I'm screwed! I have to google the equation every time!

Making notes BY HAND literally creates the electrical transference in the brain to occur that creates a memory.

If I have something super important to remember I write it down longhand as well as put on phone calendar etc. usually (not always) I find I've remembered it without the electronic notification. The act of writing it out solidifies the memory - this is not just me saying this, it's a known fact.

The same goes for learning an action - have you ever known anyone being able to tie laces or sew or do anything manual WITHOUT having to practice the act many times first?

See?

Op I am saying this not only as one who has had to learn themselves but who has trained others, I did not expect them to have it all down pat 2 months in! Nobody does.

It takes time to learn.

It's also easier to learn if you perform the action yourself

I've set things up so I have an unconnected keyboard on the same desk as a trainee and they've literally just copied my keystrokes over and over until they "got it" I found this was more effective and actually quicker than constantly answering basically the same question or worse them trying to struggle on (men are the worst for this!) but actually cocking it all up!!

That's harder to fix!

I spent today explaining to the sales team that if they don't fill in database fields, we won't be able to do basic searches and it negates the whole purpose of having a database.

Oh I feel your pain! I was once in a role where the company was moving from paper based data records to computerised (yes I'm old!) and getting this through to my boss that the particular way this data was managed and filtered REQUIRED 0's in certain fields if no value applied was like getting blood out a stone! Took about 6 months till the penny dropped!