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Original poster

Pregnant after sterilisation aibu to want answers

62 replies

TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 16:17

Hmm so maybe this does not belong in aibu but I need answers and I'm not getting enough from anyone else.

Two weeks ago I randomly tested positive on a pregnancy test, undoubtedly obvious positive but I took a CB digital which was negative.
Another first response test done the next day also blazing positive and away I went to the GP. Who referred me for a termination and said I should get the coil Angry

On the 16th I had a private scan done and I was told I had miscarried.
A few hours later I started to bleed.

The bleed lasted 1 day, I didn't take anymore tests until Monday 21st where it shows positive.

Back and forth to get referred to early pregnancy unit for a scan, armed with my pregnancy test from this morning (which they said is too faint to be accurate 🤨)
They scanned me, they can see my womb lining is thick. And guessed a chemical pregnancy or indeed a very very early miscarriage.

They took a blood test for hcg which has come back as 2!!! 2! Why am I getting such strong tests if the result is 2? I asked about speaking to see someone to check internally if my tubes are still tied and was told "we don't do that here" despite the GP saying that's the bare minimum I'd get.

Can anyone throw light on this please? I don't feel safe to have sex atm Sad I'm so confused and it doesn't seem possible to speak to anyone about this! Picture of my test attached

Pregnant after sterilisation aibu to want answers
OP posts:
Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 20:37

@phoenixrosehere

I was even asked by my consultant if my children die and I was sterilised what would I do angry it's disgusting!

Wow. I hope you reported that consultant because that’s highly unprofessional. Wtf?!

No I didn't, after reading things on here I assumed it was a fairly normal question to ask. Tbf he was a horrible consultant, he kept saying you're too young you'll regret it
OP posts:
OkPedro · 24/02/2022 20:40

Christ @TeddyisMydog. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I just can't understand the shrugging of the shoulders after what the HPs know of your history!
I'm on a waiting list hoping to have my tubes tied..I'll be 40 this year and they wouldn't even put me on the list until late last year. I have two children, I was done after my 2nd was born 10 years ago!
My GP who is brilliant told me that a lot of the surgeons spout that awful thing about what would you do if your children died..It's disgusting.. Would it be worth going back to your GP?

Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 20:40

@Aquamarine1029

I got steralised 21 years ago by going private, and my doctor had me wait for nearly a year after I gave birth because the failure rate is apparently much higher when the procedure is done during childbirth. I'm sorry you're going through this. What a nightmare.
Wow a year! The only reason I had it done during the c section is because I thought they wouldnt agree to do it if I wasn't having a c section, if that makes sense

Had I been told also that I needed further contraception for 3/6/9 months I would have got something else too but no I was told it was instant. Even the midwife who discharged me said "ooh I won't need to ask you what contraception you'll be using, you've been sterilised! You'll be glad you don't need to worry about contraception now"

Never ever would have risked sex if I thought this would happen and while I know it is a risk, it had only been 11 weeks! Which makes me wonder.. Was it ever done correctly? X

OP posts:
Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 20:48

@TaylorsSwimShorts

I was sterilised during section 4 years ago with my 6th child...currently sat here 8 months pregnant 🙄 I was initially told "its a risk you take when getting sterilised during a section" but after further complaining and an investigation, it turns out that the surgery was done incorrectly, one tube was left partially intact, and as if that wasn't bad enough, the lab didn't confirm the tube samples sent to them were correct, 2 huge mess ups, so it may be worth asking for the hospital to check the lab reports to check 2 full tubes were taken...
Oh my word Flowers you're braver than me, I definitely cannot have anymore children. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression shortly after the birth I was in an awful way and I was days from being sectioned. I feel like I'm only just getting better but this is pushing me back down on a spiral.

My tubes were tied so they were taking out, I did ask them to remove everything 🤣🙈 I want no part of it anymore lol! I just find it hard to believe I'd heal that quickly in 11 weeks for this to have happened

I want some investigation but it doesn't seem likely, what did you ask for? Or rather who did you ask for to get all that info? X

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/02/2022 20:51

Is it possible that you actually weren't pregnant, that this was due to residual hormones from having your baby less than two months ago? Personally, that's what I'm thinking.

RantyAunty · 24/02/2022 20:52

My first thought was ectopic too. Had one at age 20. Not a pleasant experience.
I don't know how long a test will remain pos but it would be good to see someone else if it doesn't resolve soon.

Also time for your DP to get the snip. You've been through enough. Flowers

RagzRebooted · 24/02/2022 20:52

@User839516

I’m pregnant with final DC and am being sterilised when they are born (c section). I was told that they now remove both of your entire tubes as when they ‘snip’ them they can actually grow back together and you can end up pregnant again. It’s also apparently better because it decreases your risk of ovarian cancer to take the whole tube away. Sorry not sure that helps but thought I’d share!
That's interesting as I'd want this and haven't asked for sterilisation yet because I don't trust my tubes not to realign themselves.
Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 20:54

@Aquamarine1029

Is it possible that you actually weren't pregnant, that this was due to residual hormones from having your baby less than two months ago? Personally, that's what I'm thinking.
I'd already had a negative test and a period since having my baby so I don't think it's that x
OP posts:
nildesparandum · 24/02/2022 21:03

User 839516

I had sterilisation done during my second c section in 1972.Aterwards I was told the tubes had both been removed not tied as in my case they had to be certain no more pregnancies.
It was not done on everyone then as a work colleague of mine got pregnant after a tubal tie.Her tubes were tied again and her DH had the snip done afterwards to make doubly sure.

Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 24/02/2022 21:08

@RantyAunty

My first thought was ectopic too. Had one at age 20. Not a pleasant experience. I don't know how long a test will remain pos but it would be good to see someone else if it doesn't resolve soon.

Also time for your DP to get the snip. You've been through enough. Flowers

Thank you I've been told to test again in a week and if it's negative I can get the coil (nobody would listen to me when I explained why I couldn't have it)

Yes my partner wants the snip but he has been told he is too young! He phoned his Dr last week, had an appointment last Friday, they were umming and arring over the phone so he got a face to face appointment which happened yesterday and he was told he is too young so they won't put him forward for consideration.
He explained that pregnancy is a massive toll on my body, that neither of us want anymore children, that I was sterilised and it hasn't worked, he threatened to snip himself 🤣🙈 but he has asked to speak to someone else at the surgery.

Again along the same lines of a PP who doesn't have children but thinks it'll be a fight to be sterilised, it really shouldn't be like this Sad

OP posts:
HogDogKetchup · 24/02/2022 21:14

I had thickening of the womb lining but no visible pregnancy. They weren’t concerned but they had missed the ectopic and I unfortunately ruptured and had to be rushed for surgery.

Buttston2 · 24/02/2022 21:14

Hi I opted against having my tubes tied during a c section as the rate of failure is higher unfortunately. My husband had a vasectomy done. I knew I would struggle if I fell pregnant it would have broken me. You have my sympathy this situation cannot be easy. Would your partner consider having himself done instead?

TaylorsSwimShorts · 24/02/2022 21:40

Well I put in a complaint because I wanted answers regarding what would happen if I continued the pregnancy, (ive had 1 natural and 5 previous sections) as obviously 6 sections isn't idea, I have a lot of scarring, I'm quite only at 42, and honestly I was leaning towards not carrying on, but I could not get anybody to give me and answers, opinions, tests, eventually after emailing in complaints the senior risk consultant got involved and started digging and it was her that found the mistakes, a serious incident investigation is still currently ongoing , really at every stage there has been a lack of decent care, and I'm genuinely worried about the upcoming section, they are going to try and remove the bit of tube that was left, plus partner will be getting the snip, I never ever ever want to be pregnant again! I hope you get some answers!

bluebird3 · 24/02/2022 22:01

I once had a pregnancy of unknown location - so suspected ectopic but not big enough to be visible on a scan. You could have possibly had this too and while it's naturally miscarrying it hasn't quite made it out of your system. My hcg slowly dropped and stalled out around the single digits for a couple weeks. They considered giving me methotrexate but then on a subsequent blood test it was at 0. It took 13 blood tests over 4 weeks for all the hcg to leave my body. I'd think you are unlikely to have a ruptured ectopic at this point with an hcg of 2 but I'd ask to continue being monitored just in case until hcg is down to zero.

Ivyruin · 24/02/2022 22:14

Aww, I hope everything goes OK for you, and it's just a false positive!

Worrying me, though, I'm being sterilised in 2 weeks, but I have been told to keep my implant in till the end of the year.

AgathaMystery · 24/02/2022 22:21

@phoenixrosehere

I was even asked by my consultant if my children die and I was sterilised what would I do angry it's disgusting!

Wow. I hope you reported that consultant because that’s highly unprofessional. Wtf?!

It’s a standard question. And a totally reasonable one.

Think about how many women complete their family, desperate, meet a new partner & want a baby together. This also happens to women when an absolute tragedy befalls their family. Any doctor counselling a 28yr old woman about permanent sterilisation would be negligent not to ask this question.

AgathaMystery · 24/02/2022 22:23

*separate. Not desperate!!

Amicompletelyinsane · 24/02/2022 22:29

With regards to your partner getting the snip just keep going back to the gp. My husband was under 30.got given leaflets but told he was too young. But he went back twice more asking and they did send him for it in the end. I think when young they try and put them off first time and see if they come back and are certain

Hankunamatata · 24/02/2022 23:35

NHS WALES

How effective is sterilisation?
Female Sterilisation is more than 99% effective, and only one woman
in 200 will become pregnant in her lifetime after having it done. (This is similar to the contraceptive pill in effectiveness/ failure. The chance of a pregnancy if condoms are used is at least 5 per 500 -15 times less effective).
Failure is thought to be higher if done at the time of caesarean section.
During pregnancy, your fallopian tubes are swollen in response to the
normal pregnancy changes. Failure occur because of the possibility of re-joining of the swollen ends of tube. This can happen immediately or some years after the operation has been carried out.

Knockdown42 · 24/02/2022 23:40

@TeddyisMydog

Hello, I do have other children yes and I've recently had a c section so I had my tubes tied during it
I do think it would be hard to get them to agree when you don't have children sad which is so so wrong.

I was even asked by my consultant if my children die and I was sterilised what would I do it's disgusting! We are more than old enough to be fully aware of what we are doing! X

——————————

I don’t think it’s disgusting at all. You thought through the consequences. Not everyone does. I know of people who have lost children unexpectedly and they’re glad they have other children, obvs nothing replaces them, but they questioned what they were living for without them.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/02/2022 00:36

@Ivyruin

Aww, I hope everything goes OK for you, and it's just a false positive!

Worrying me, though, I'm being sterilised in 2 weeks, but I have been told to keep my implant in till the end of the year.

If you're being steralised whilst not giving birth, I wouldn't worry. As I wrote earlier, my very well respected doctor who performed my tubal ligation told me that the failure risk is overwhelmingly with women who have it done during childbirth.
ParalysisByAnalysis · 25/02/2022 01:41

Sorry this is off topic but when I had my last c section I asked about having my tubes tied and they were like lol no. Like I’d asked something silly. Is this a thing? I mean I’m not particularly upset about it but they were so dismissive Confused

Original poster
TeddyisMydog · 25/02/2022 02:02

@ParalysisByAnalysis

Sorry this is off topic but when I had my last c section I asked about having my tubes tied and they were like lol no. Like I’d asked something silly. Is this a thing? I mean I’m not particularly upset about it but they were so dismissive Confused
There is definitely a lot of factors as to whether they'd say yes. I first asked in 2018 and was told to get the coil, the GP said I pretty much had 0 to no chance of being accepted for sterilisation.

Two more pregnancies down (that I didn't really want to be having but also couldn't agree with terminating) various blood transfusions during pregnancies, multiple blood thinning injections as my blood constantly clotted, I had hyperemesis gravidarum and lost a lot of weight, I'd end up in hospital with various attempts at finding a vein to get some fluid into me, constantly soiling myself as I was too weak to make it to the toilet and then having had 4 c section they asked me if I would want it done, I said yes and that was that.

I think personally I would of had a harder fight if I wasn't pregnant and having a c section so that is why I went for it. Bloody pointless and wish I had waited now

OP posts:
Rtmhwales · 25/02/2022 02:26

I just want to say after my miscarriage I continued to test as it went down, alongside HCG blood testing. I was still getting a blaring positive at 3 for some reason, even on my internet cheapies. I don't know why, but it happened with both miscarriages I had and didn't go blank/negative until it was at literally zero.

Rtmhwales · 25/02/2022 02:27

Ah sorry I missed that you have gotten a negative test since then. I had my period but it was still positive even then. The human body is confusing. I was definitely not pregnant and had no remaining tissue either.