To wonder how many other women suffer with imposter syndrome at work?!

[Twices]

I’ve recently secured a very senior role in my specialism with a new employer. Being offered an amazing salary, great opportunities and it’s really something I should be proud of. Instead, I’m plagued with thoughts such as ‘what if I sounded better than I actually am in my interview and they’ll be disappointed when I start?’, ‘what if they realise I actually don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I don’t pass my probation’, ‘what if I can’t do the job’ and so on. I know these thoughts are irrational as I’m suitably experienced and qualified , but I’ve felt this way all through my career regardless of seniority and this fear always seems to creep in before starting in a new role. In this case it’s worse as I’ll be earning such a high salary and I can’t help but feel, surely I’m not worth all of that money and they’ll find me out soon. I’ll also be the only female in the company at or around my level of seniority, even more daunting!

I’ve always felt that I must be in the minority in feeling this way, but I opened up to a good friend about this today and she thinks half of us feel as though we are going to be tapped on the shoulder and told to leave at any minute! I guess I’d just like to hear from anyone else who feels like this, it’s good to know we are not alone and if anyone has any suggestions as to how to break this awful cycle, please share!

Yes I feel like this all the time and I know at least a couple of my female colleagues do as well.

Sharing some resources I got from a return to work coach after mat leave

There are lots and probably updated ones but here

TedTalk:www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_use_impostor_syndrome_to_your_benefit?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Mike Cannon-Brookes: How you can use impostor syndrome to your benefit | TED Talk

Have you ever doubted your abilities, feared you were going to be discovered as a "fraud"? That's called "impostor syndrome," and you're definitely not alone in feeling it, says entrepreneur and CEO Mike Cannon-Brookes. In this funny, relatable talk, he shares how his own experiences of impostor syndrome helped pave the way to his success -- and shows how you can use it to your advantage, too.

www.ted.com

Article about Imposter Syndrome in the workplace:www.businessinsider.com/5-ways-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome-in-the-workplace-2020-2?r=US&IR=T#early-warning-signs-of-imposter-syndrome-2

5 ways to overcome imposter syndrome in the workplace

Imposter syndrome can manifest in a variety of ways, from turning down new challenges to being reluctant to accept compliments.

www.businessinsider.com

OP! I started a new job 6 months ago. Very similar to your situation, high paying senior role. I’ve done similar roles for years, but this is a bigger company. I feel I’ll be asked to leave any minute. Last week I asked my boss if I could take over sending a weekly report for my team. He said it’s fine he’ll do it. I thought that was because he’ll fire me the next week. Nopes! He passed my probation.
I always felt others in the team know more than me. Always. I get very stressed and anxious because I am worried people will find me stupid :(

Yes. But only when I hit peri-menopause...its a very common symptom apparently! (don't know how old you are).

I stave off waves of panic from time to time, but I think it's partly justified. I’ve gone from being a longterm sahm into a fast growing career, and am highly respected by my colleagues. I am deeply appreciative but always feel like I need to scramble to keep up. A year ago I was part time and underpaid, and pinch myself regularly at the fact I've got a solid career now.

I definitely suffer. But as this thread has shown, it seems like everyone needs to be either brilliant at their job, or they are one of the useless people. Can’t we just be good enough? If we’re bloody good at what we do, is it because we’re not being challenged sufficiently? I think everyone needs to get better at dealing with failure and using it as an opportunity to improve.

I have it!! I've given up an amazing position because I was scared I'd 'be found out'. I have a PhD, have been published, yet still worry that I'm utterly clueless. Congrats and go for it!

[quote pitterpatterrain]I used to (more than now) then read a HBR article which helped me re-think it a bit plus realising that I don’t need to be 100% perfect at everything - jobs aren’t like exams

hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome[/quote]
This is really interesting. Suggests 'Imposter Syndrome' is just pathologising normal behaviour just like 'hysteria' did in the 19th century.

I think some feelings of self doubt are necessary for achievement, they drive you on but also make you more empathetic. It's like we're told by kind people about being a mother, if you are worrying about doing it right then you're doing a good job. We all know arrogant obnoxious people who could do with a bit of self doubt.

I literally am an imposter, I run my family business, but I only joined in my late 30s. It was always expected the sons would take over but none did.
I had management experience before but not in this field so now I'm running a business with £25-8m turnover with 79 employees so no pressure!

Although I have made sure I lean how to be good at my job I got an MBA and I always try and learn/ grow.

So I literally have my job because of the freak of my birth & no one else wanted it! How about that for a head fuck 🤣

I definitely feel like this, I’ve managed to get to the top of my pay scale plus middle management responsibility and I’ve no idea how.

[quote pitterpatterrain]I used to (more than now) then read a HBR article which helped me re-think it a bit plus realising that I don’t need to be 100% perfect at everything - jobs aren’t like exams

hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome[/quote]
I couldn't disagree more based on my own experience. But maybe it really is sector-specific.

@camelfinger

I definitely suffer. But as this thread has shown, it seems like everyone needs to be either brilliant at their job, or they are one of the useless people. Can’t we just be good enough? If we’re bloody good at what we do, is it because we’re not being challenged sufficiently? I think everyone needs to get better at dealing with failure and using it as an opportunity to improve.

But as I said above, it's actually more efficient to play to your strengths (within reason - there are obviously certain things that you need to do, but there will other things that you don't need to do well and can either delegate to other people or which don't' really matter).

I love this thread! It’s such a support to hear other people feel the same ! Mine is getting slightly better as I get older, that’s one positive. And I’m slightly getting to the point where in a meeting I can tell myself that I am actually the person best placed to speak about certain projects etc- and believe myself instead of being worried everyone will think I’m a fraud !
That said I can still get bursts of imposter especially when new younger ultra professional sounding new team members or interns join.

I've just finished a confidence course for women through work and its really common for women at all levels. There are many factors...
But they employed you , you have skills and knowledge you told them about and probably lots more...
Would highly recommend it run by a company called upfront..

This is a really insightful thread and completely resonates with me. I’m a senior leader in my establishment and clearly know what I am doing although I doubt myself and have to ‘have a word’ with myself frequently.

Over the years I’ve worked with men who have a very high opinion of themselves but are just not great at their jobs. I see it, as do others, but they don’t. It’s incredible really.

I’m currently in a new job and my manager is a (younger) woman who feels the need to put me in my place. She’s very competent but her attitude, and constant undermining, is making me doubt myself again. Not good…

@pitterpatterrain I think it's an interesting point, my self doubt is definitely magnified in areas and situations where I've previously been gaslit into believing I was doing a bad job. It's take a lot of unpicking to figure out when I was doing well (with evidence) and when I actually wasn't that good at something. Unfortunately feedback is so often biased, whether words or actions.

[quote Isonthecase]@pitterpatterrain I think it's an interesting point, my self doubt is definitely magnified in areas and situations where I've previously been gaslit into believing I was doing a bad job. It's take a lot of unpicking to figure out when I was doing well (with evidence) and when I actually wasn't that good at something. Unfortunately feedback is so often biased, whether words or actions.[/quote]
Yes it is, going back to my point above where appraisals spend the first 5 minutes talking about your good points and the last 55 talking about the things one thing you could improve.

I read an interesting take on this. Apparently we should stop telling women they have imposter syndrome and rather look at society and the culture of the organisation that makes them feel they do.

I think most people are winging it tbh. The more senior you go, the more dependent you tend to be on others with knowledge of the day to day activities or deep specialist subject knowledge.

in my experience so many have the confidence to get senior positions then cannot do the job properly, the opposite of imposter syndrome

Jesus yeah same - I was just interviewing today for someone to come into our team, and I was thinking all of them sounded more knowledgeable and qualified than I am, even though I’ve been actively doing it for my whole career!

I do. I had a moment of 'oh fuck' recently when I was at a dept event and someone I didn't know said that they didn't know everyone there but knew us managers, obviously. I suddenly thought - bloody hell, people actually know my name and know what I do. Which is very worrying, as most of the time I'm winging it. I do get excellent performance reviews and my work seems to be thought of as quite good actually, but a lot of the time I'm thinking 'eeek - why are you asking me that?!'