I’ve recently secured a very senior role in my specialism with a new employer. Being offered an amazing salary, great opportunities and it’s really something I should be proud of. Instead, I’m plagued with thoughts such as ‘what if I sounded better than I actually am in my interview and they’ll be disappointed when I start?’, ‘what if they realise I actually don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I don’t pass my probation’, ‘what if I can’t do the job’ and so on. I know these thoughts are irrational as I’m suitably experienced and qualified , but I’ve felt this way all through my career regardless of seniority and this fear always seems to creep in before starting in a new role. In this case it’s worse as I’ll be earning such a high salary and I can’t help but feel, surely I’m not worth all of that money and they’ll find me out soon. I’ll also be the only female in the company at or around my level of seniority, even more daunting!
I’ve always felt that I must be in the minority in feeling this way, but I opened up to a good friend about this today and she thinks half of us feel as though we are going to be tapped on the shoulder and told to leave at any minute! I guess I’d just like to hear from anyone else who feels like this, it’s good to know we are not alone and if anyone has any suggestions as to how to break this awful cycle, please share! 