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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think im not made to survive

118 replies

Mammyloveswine · 22/02/2022 22:47

I love a disaster film (dont judge me) but omg in real life id be shit..Reasons here:

I cant drive so wouldnt be able to make my escape...

I wear contacts so in a plane crash/boat capsize id be blind...

I have zero upper body strength to cling on to a building....

And as for this... m.youtube.com/watch?v=xITzTrFFopQ i could NOT throw my kids over a roof 😱😱😱😱😱

Please reassure me im not the only one?

OP posts:
ImprobablePuffin · 23/02/2022 01:16

@Solo

If everyone got together, we could put the skills we do have to good use so we could all survive.

I'll make the clothing out of knitted grass and stitched together tree bark. I can't kill animals, but I can cook. I think I can remember how to filter water.

Anyone want to team up?

I'm in. I'll bring my rescue hens for eggs.
maddening · 23/02/2022 01:18

I am good at staying calm, that would be my strength, thinking of a plan in the chaos.

Physical strength, no chance.

OshaOsha · 23/02/2022 01:18

I did really suprise myself once when I panicked and ran away from something and there was a a fence in front of me that was taller than me. I had a big handbag. I just didn't stop.... I just jumped, and because I'd been really running I managed to get to the top, chuck my bag over, jump down and carry on running.

I put it down to the adrenaline because I am not a runner nor do I have upper body strength etc and I'm incredibly uncoordinated usually.

I think some people would do a little better than they imagine just due to the adrenaline rush, but it wouldn't last.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 23/02/2022 01:22

But I figure that if I barricade myself into my house with a moving treadmill facing outwards on each doorstep, the zombies won’t be able to get in.

Genius. Unless they're fast zombies.

Solo · 23/02/2022 01:25

ImprobablePuffin sorted - 2 of us, then. I make great omelets .

Daenerys77 · 23/02/2022 01:28

Can't shoot or fish, barely swim, can't run for toffee, but I am very vicious when cornered and would have no problem going for the goolies or the throat.

TowandaForever · 23/02/2022 01:45

@Daenerys77

Can't shoot or fish, barely swim, can't run for toffee, but I am very vicious when cornered and would have no problem going for the goolies or the throat.
That took me back! Don't hear goolies very often these days!
Rummikub · 23/02/2022 02:01

When there’s a person underwater having to hold their breath I try to match them.
Impossible. I last ten seconds nor can I swim very well.

OshaOsha · 23/02/2022 02:41

I can hold my breath fairly well I think. Haven't attempted underwater, but i just timed myself with my phone stopwatch and I can hold it for 2 minutes before I just can't anymore. As a kid I used to run a sink full of water and dunk my face in it and try and hold my breath for as long as I could, just for fun Grin maybe that helped.

Rummikub · 23/02/2022 03:14

Wow 2 minutes?!!! That’s survivor level!

Sobeyondthehills · 23/02/2022 03:15

I have a plan for most eventualities, it normally does involve my DP sacrificing himself though, he seems fine with this option

Rummikub · 23/02/2022 03:17

There was a channel 4(?) programme where they got the public to complete tasks and they’d pick the best 100. And whittle them down till they had a woman who they sent on a long free dive! It was about hidden talents. Phenomenal programme.

groovergirl · 23/02/2022 04:35

@Solo

ImprobablePuffin sorted - 2 of us, then. I make great omelets .
May I join your tasty trinity? In the event of a scorched earth I can extract potable water from any remaining trees using plastic bags. Australian outback trick!
Blossom64265 · 23/02/2022 05:10

I love disaster movies.

In a real disaster I would be dead very quickly. Without medication I die so I don’t stand a chance.

If I could get past the medication problem, I’m actually quite resourceful and skilled in theory. I’m wouldn’t be so good at the actually physical disaster part, but the survival part afterwards I’m golden. Old-fashioned skills are my thing.

Camomila · 23/02/2022 06:43

He told me quite matter-of-factly when we were children that he'd eat me if he was hungry enough. I mean, cheers for that mate!

I told DH if there was ever a bear I'd leave him to get eaten and save the DC. Luckily he accepted it as a good plan (he is a city boy who is scared of bees and won't drink from streams or eat wild blueberries, I'm much more likely to survive the wilderness)

DrSbaitso · 23/02/2022 06:48

@MaChienEstUnDick

Oh my friends regularly tell me I wouldn't get onto the island/into the enclosure/the keys to the mansion. I remind them I'm as funny as fuck and can make pasta from scratch. But it would definitely be touch and go.
Sorry to say it, but the funny one never survives. Especially in a slasher film. You'd be second, after the opening one.
GnomeDePlume · 23/02/2022 06:51

@Solo

If everyone got together, we could put the skills we do have to good use so we could all survive.

I'll make the clothing out of knitted grass and stitched together tree bark. I can't kill animals, but I can cook. I think I can remember how to filter water.

Anyone want to team up?

I can offer food growing and brewing skills if that would be any use?
Recycledblonde · 23/02/2022 07:18

I am fat, unfit, hate swimming, have zero upper body strength and am a complete coward so would be utterly useless in any disaster movie scenario.
I am very good at sleeping though so perhaps I could just wake up when its all over?

DurhamDurham · 23/02/2022 07:40

I once made some chutney instead of throwing some manky old apples away. If I could rustle up some cheese we'd be ok for a tasty supper. That was keep our energy up, for a day at least.

I can't run, I can energetically skip which makes my three year old granddaughter howl with laughter so maybe it would confuse zombies long enough so I could make my escape......skipping my way to freedom.

Hesperatum · 23/02/2022 07:48

PoorMegHopkinsMammyloveswine Me too

FAQs · 23/02/2022 08:00

I’m quite an angry person at times, usually calm but don’t take any shit so I’d be like those people on YouTube who get stalked by a mountain lion or bear who goes bat shit and shouts at them until they run off, I think that would serve me well for a while, can also drive, I could probably fit a couple of people in my car.

tympanic · 23/02/2022 08:08

I definitely wouldn’t survive a zombie apocalypse. But not because of my own shortcomings. DH and DS are loud, uncoordinated and melodramatic so they’d give us away immediately. If I could shake off the husband for the zombies to feast on I might have the chance to flee to safety with my son gagged and strapped to my back.

Phlewf · 23/02/2022 08:25

@Rummikub

There was a channel 4(?) programme where they got the public to complete tasks and they’d pick the best 100. And whittle them down till they had a woman who they sent on a long free dive! It was about hidden talents. Phenomenal programme.
What was this program? Did the have a woman about 40ish who had never climbed but had amazing innate climbing ability??? I saw one episode once, and have never been able to track it down. If I spend enough time with people I ask them about it and no one has ever heard of it never mind seen it. Sorry to come on a bit strong but if you know what I’m talking about and maybe even know what it was called I probably love you and will dedicate my life to repaying this life- debt.
bluepeacock · 23/02/2022 08:32

I used to freeze and just wait to be caught after about 20 seconds into a game of tig. I suspect I'd be the same if zombies were chasing me.

😂 😂 😂

I remember watching 28 Days Later and thinking Cillian Murphy's parents had it right - they just took a load of pills and fell asleep clutching his photo - that's what I'd do. (clutching a photo of my own dc's photo of course, not of Cillian Murphy!) I really couldn't be arsed with all that running away and having to come up with evermore complicated ways to evade the zombies! I'm dead lazy.

Ilovedthe70s · 23/02/2022 08:38

I can hunt, am a crack shot and can bring down deer with a bow and arrow, then can butcher it for food and prep skins and make clothes/ shoes. I was also a taekwondo 1st Dan and I can fight still.

I am deaf though so any zombie assailants coming from outside my field of vision and I am a goner

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