Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Blatant Bitching....

33 replies

Chunky1234 · 22/02/2022 20:29

Experienced this my whole life so not really surprised it is happening now I am a Mum. But seriously, why can't people (women in my personal experience) either say something to your face or at least wait to do it once you're not there, if they're going to do it at all?
Overheard a conversation last week when I took my daughter swimming, where they were saying I should stop lessons because she clearly hates it (she has cried briefly at 2 out of 12 lessons), that I am "weird" and that I should wear a larger swimming costume because of my breast size (I wear a normal one piece swimming suit but I can't help that I have big boobs). When I walked in the look on their faces was priceless. But I felt self conscious and ashamed even though I have done nothing wrong.
The never ending comments about my daughter being "in a good mood", and "she's so glad it's over" just from 2 bad lessons also got to me (previous to the comments above).
Trying to toughen up and give less of a crap but needed to rant.

OP posts:
Marmelace · 22/02/2022 20:33

I'd have just given them something real to talk about me for. Probably not the best response though.

1000yellowdaisies · 22/02/2022 20:34

Bitchy women are everywhere unfortunately. I know its hard but try and remember how sad their lives must be for them to waste their energy bitching about someone they hardly know. It sounds like they have just found another topic to bitch about.
And ignore their comments about your daughter....

Choppingonions · 22/02/2022 20:35

They're not worth your time. Horrible women.

Original poster
Chunky1234 · 22/02/2022 20:39

Was just so unnecessary, the bit about my daughter was hurtful, she's only 2 and a bit. She loves going but I don't get this judgy mum shaming of women who have a crying child, do their children never cry?!

OP posts:
Grilledaubergines · 22/02/2022 20:44

Pull them on it.

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 20:45

@Chunky1234

Was just so unnecessary, the bit about my daughter was hurtful, she's only 2 and a bit. She loves going but I don't get this judgy mum shaming of women who have a crying child, do their children never cry?!
You need to look at them as being idiots. They're thoughts and words show you who they are. Rise above and look down upon them.
Marmelace · 22/02/2022 20:46

Their!

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 20:46

@Grilledaubergines

Pull them on it.
And this!
Cherrysherbet · 22/02/2022 20:50

Nasty cows. Ignore and carry on op.

UsernameInTheTown · 22/02/2022 20:56

"Are you quite finished?" Would have done the trick nicely.

TDCtomorrow · 22/02/2022 21:09

Just tell them to grow the fuck up

XenoBitch · 22/02/2022 21:11

They are nasty. People who bitch like that have nothing interesting to say and nothing of importance going on in their lives.

Pumperthepumper · 22/02/2022 21:13

Are you sure they were talking about you?

Original poster
Chunky1234 · 22/02/2022 21:15

@Pumperthepumper sadly so, they used my name. I'm not sure how they didn't know I was in the changing room to be honest.

OP posts:
BirdsAndBiscuits · 22/02/2022 21:17

I'm a foreigner in a place where being local is highly valued (and I'm the very worst kind of foreigner, dontcha know), so I've had a lot of this. I've learnt to see it as an affliction (theirs, not mine).
We all have our cross to bear. Some people have family problems, financial, health, whatever. These people have unpleasant personalities. It must be difficult to live with and the people I see bitching like this never seem exactly contented.

Pumperthepumper · 22/02/2022 21:18

I don’t see why they would take such a dislike to you or your daughter after two lessons though.

Bobbajobs · 22/02/2022 21:23

I'd love to say shake it off and forget, but In all honesty I avoid mum and baby groups with my youngest (2) because he has the worst tantrums and I'd be afraid of being on the recieving end of anything like this so I really do feel for you xx

Lollypop701 · 22/02/2022 21:33

Your dd is 2yo and is too young to understand how her being upset/afraid/tired/just being 2 impacts others. those women should be asked if they are also 2yo because it’s the only way their behaviour is ok ! I’d smile at them next time and ask them if they are in a good mood and when they look confused tell them it’s ok because you are over it

sadpapercourtesan · 22/02/2022 21:39

@Pumperthepumper

I don’t see why they would take such a dislike to you or your daughter after two lessons though.
I think you're going to struggle to find a way to spin this one as OP's fault, Pumper, but we'll all have fun watching you try Grin

OP they have a lot of growing up to do. I know it's hurtful, but you have to try and rise above it and ignore. Some people just never seem to leave the playground - it's sad.

Original poster
Chunky1234 · 22/02/2022 21:46

@sadpapercourtesan I was about to respond to Pumper and say maybe because they don't like chubby women, large breasted women, curly haired women but you answered better Grin

OP posts:
Momicrone · 22/02/2022 21:48

It's not just women

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 21:48

@Pumperthepumper

I don’t see why they would take such a dislike to you or your daughter after two lessons though.
As you are demonstrating so well, some people need no reason to act like dicks.
Pumperthepumper · 22/02/2022 21:53

No, I’m not blaming the OP. I’m asking if she’s sure because it seems very unlikely that someone could take against someone based on so little. And the Op says it happens to them a lot. So I’m wondering if there’s something in that.

I don’t mean to offend you OP and I’ll leave thread if you want me to. I just thought it’s easy to feel hyper-sensitive in a swimming costume, swimming, with people you don’t know, with a kid who’s maybe not enjoyed swimming as much as the others that might have made you mis-hear. Because as I said, why would they be so vicious?

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 21:56

@Pumperthepumper

No, I’m not blaming the OP. I’m asking if she’s sure because it seems very unlikely that someone could take against someone based on so little. And the Op says it happens to them a lot. So I’m wondering if there’s something in that.

I don’t mean to offend you OP and I’ll leave thread if you want me to. I just thought it’s easy to feel hyper-sensitive in a swimming costume, swimming, with people you don’t know, with a kid who’s maybe not enjoyed swimming as much as the others that might have made you mis-hear. Because as I said, why would they be so vicious?

Sorry for misunderstanding you
Pumperthepumper · 22/02/2022 21:58

That’s very gracious of you Marmelace, not to worry Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread