Blatant Bitching....

[Chunky1234]

Experienced this my whole life so not really surprised it is happening now I am a Mum. But seriously, why can't people (women in my personal experience) either say something to your face or at least wait to do it once you're not there, if they're going to do it at all?
Overheard a conversation last week when I took my daughter swimming, where they were saying I should stop lessons because she clearly hates it (she has cried briefly at 2 out of 12 lessons), that I am "weird" and that I should wear a larger swimming costume because of my breast size (I wear a normal one piece swimming suit but I can't help that I have big boobs). When I walked in the look on their faces was priceless. But I felt self conscious and ashamed even though I have done nothing wrong.
The never ending comments about my daughter being "in a good mood", and "she's so glad it's over" just from 2 bad lessons also got to me (previous to the comments above).
Trying to toughen up and give less of a crap but needed to rant.

They’re jealous!

Do they know each other prior to the swimming lessons? And know you/ your name?

I've been taking my dd to baby swimming for over a year now and I know the kids names but none of the parents and we haven't exchanged more than a few pleasantries. I honestly don't know where I'd get the energy to bitch from when I seem to need about 26 hands to get myself and a very squirmy and damp toddler wrestled into some clothing before a meltdown ensues. Not saying that the mums in your group aren't being total cows - just that it's not normal and not how 'most' mum's or most women behave. So even though it feels really shit to have come across such arseholes, don't be too disheartened and maybe try another class if you can?

Thanks for the reassurance and comments. I'm new to the area and it is one of the only classes around (it is not a big place we've moved to!). We've been to 12 classes total and daughter has been upset at 2 of these. They did use my name, I was surprised they knew this as agreed I need 10000 hands to dress her after! Maybe they are 2 people that have known each other since school and never grew up.

I'm sorry OP. That sounds really difficult. It stings now but it will pass. Badly brought up women. You have done nothing wrong. Keep your head held up high. Swimming lessons sounds fun - glad your little mermaid is enjoying them

@Chunky1234

Was just so unnecessary, the bit about my daughter was hurtful, she's only 2 and a bit. She loves going but I don't get this judgy mum shaming of women who have a crying child, do their children never cry?!

Of COURSE their kids don’t cry, OP. Their kids are perfect. Because they’re perfect parents who just don’t understand why parents such as you can’t just sort your children out. Oh, but if their kids ever do cry, it’s probably your DD rubbing off on them.

But seriously. It’s all so tedious. I can’t imagine carrying on like some people do, putting others down to feel superior. Unfortunately it seems to get worse as your kids get older. The mother of one of my DS’ friends talks like the above. Only her perfect one has now grown to be a horrid boy with a real nasty streak. You might think this has stopped her being judgemental about other parents? Nope.

Next time ask them why they’re spending so much energy on you when they could be spending that energy on their own kids.

I’m sorry this has happened to you @Chunky1234, I’ve been in your position and it’s truly horrible. I do think that these people have an inferiority complex and they’re jealous. Unfortunately, my sister is one of these people, constantly bitching about others, even random strangers for no good reason whatsoever. I’m pretty much NC now because I just couldn’t tolerate her nastiness any longer, especially when I realised she also bitched about me. Rise above it and don’t give them any more headspace.

@tympanic so funny thank you for cheering me up. Funny thing is the session when my daughter did cry, one of the other toddlers started and the Mum said the whole "oh no she's made them all cry!". So ridiculous.

Thanks everyone to responding to the rant. I am fairly thick skinned (trying to be). I just dont get the shaming, whether it body shaming or parenting shaming or whatever.