That vulnerable people shouldn’t be advised to have counselling

[Hollyandlilac]

I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t have it if they want it, but AIBU to think that it being presented as something that will help heal or cure you is wrong?

What do you mean by vulnerable and what sort of counseling?

Often does help people. It would be very odd not to say that.

The whole point of counselling is to let the person have a space to talk and explore their feelings. Giving someone that autonomy and self belief is a crucial tool for them to be able to live their lives and not just survive.

Counselling often helps people. What do you mean?

Also if you are at a point of a psychotic episode, or hospitalised for an eating disorder and your weight is under a certain limit they can't give you counselling anyway. As you cannot give consent or be actively engaged. There are moral and ethical guidelines all qualified and licensed therapists must follow.

It won’t necessarily solve a situation but it can give the person space and support to help themselves.

It’s not a magic wand but it can really help someone to be heard, supported and progress during difficult times.

Counselling is an unregulated profession in the UK, so you literally don't know what you're getting when you sign up for it. Having known a couple of counsellors who were the last people I would want involved if I was in emotional distress, I do think that the idea it will always be helpful is possibly misguided.

@DysmalRadius

Counselling is an unregulated profession in the UK, so you literally don't know what you're getting when you sign up for it. Having known a couple of counsellors who were the last people I would want involved if I was in emotional distress, I do think that the idea it will always be helpful is possibly misguided.

You can avoid this by making sure you see a counsellor that is on the BACP register as that means they have to have had a minimum level of training, at least a level 4 which is around three years of training

Unregulated counsellors are dangerous. Always check if they are registered with bacp or other regulatory body. Go by word of mouth if possible. A great counsellor / therapist can be life changing.

What do you mean? Do you mean counselling as opposed to other therapies? Counselling is a type of therapy that helps some people but not others; it’s not true to say that it’s wrong that it won’t help but when people have experienced complex trauma or complex mental health needs they often need more specific therapy as recommended by a health professional

Are you talking about covid?

Covid? No. I just feel that someone who is vulnerable after bereavement or vulnerable due to mental health problems shouldn’t be pushed towards counselling.

It’s awfully expensive and I’m not sure what the stats are regarding it helping people, but it’s always presented as something necessary - ‘you need counselling’ .

I don't think I've seen it presented as a cure for grief, but more a helping hand through a catastrophic time. Also there are bereavement charities that offer counselling for free.

As with any service, you need to verify the ability of the provider through a regulatory body, that goes without saying.

I’m not trying to suggest it’s never helpful, but it being presented as something someone might ‘need’ is not something I’m comfortable with.

@CorrBlimeyGG

I don't think I've seen it presented as a cure for grief, but more a helping hand through a catastrophic time. Also there are bereavement charities that offer counselling for free.

As with any service, you need to verify the ability of the provider through a regulatory body, that goes without saying.

This a bit confusing. You use the word "advised" in first post then "pushed" in this.

Whether counselling is helpful or not to anyone is being discussed but surely not the main point? Nor is debate about the different levels, legal, good quality, registered etc.

If someone is being forced into anything of this kind against their free will it is a bad thing. If it's advice, then it's just that, up to the person to research. Pushed is a different matter.

Bereavement councelling is usually recommended after 12 months. It's normally bereaved parents who are really struggling, would be advised to access councelling, but it wouldn't necessarily be bereavement councelling. It is needed on occasion. I didn't ask for it, it was suggested by my consultant. It was what I needed. I'm not comfortable with people having to ask. Professionals should recognise when it is useful and signpost patients.

@Hollyandlilac

I’m not trying to suggest it’s never helpful, but it being presented as something someone might ‘need’ is not something I’m comfortable with.

Can you give an example of this?

Of course talking therapies can be helpful to people in difficult situations. Giving people the tools to understand things more can help them to deal with the situation.

It’s not a fix all solution but there isn’t a fix all solution a lot of the time.

It saved my life and allowed me to start living after awful abuse. I managed to get it free and long term through a specific charity.

I kind of agree in some ways though. Some people say you need counselling with no consideration for;

• it can be expensive
• free sessions often have long waiting lists
• some abuse needs specialist services that can have even longer lists
• CBT is common on the NHS and isn’t right for everyone
• Some people start therapy, unload their crap and get told they’re too complex, then they’re abandoned waiting on a complex list and have a pile of drugs chucked at them
• many free services only give 6-12 sessions - no where near enough for complex issues
• counsellors need to be matched well to clients - when you only get 6 sessions this can be tricky to organise
• if you’re unpacking trauma you need a good support network outside of the sessions (in my experience)

It can help along with other forms of therapy,it's not the be all and end all but I for one have had two lots of counseling for different reasons and found it helpful
As for it being expensive the first time I was referred via work based occupational health so didn't pay and the second time I self referred through a charity and just paid a donation .

How do you feel when someone with cancer needs surgery or chemo or radiation therapy? Do you feel the same level of discomfort?

I really dislike this attitude towards mental health. Therapy doesn't cure you or solve your problem. Instead it offers a safe environment to explore your feelings/thoughts and learn tools to help you thrive.

I've undergone therapy for high functioning anxiety and grief counselling.

For high functionality anxiety I learnt about how it impacts my life, and we discovered together my triggers and successful tools to manage it.

For grief counselling, follow my mum's death my dad fell into a deep depression at the point of being suicidal. I was in my mid twenties and an only child, without having a safe independent space to express my feelings I would not have coped.

I disagree. A good counsellor will be supportive, help hold and solve problems, feed them back in small and manageable chunks. It can be a valuable and incredibly strengthening process.

I think possibly people who say ‘try counselling’ don’t really know what they are talking about (unless it’s a healthcare professional referring you).

Having sessions with a psychologist regardless of the type of therapy can be extremely hard work, upsetting, and emotionally draining. So you have to be ready for it and have your expectations appropriately set. You can’t go for 6 sessions of CBT and hope to feel better if you have complex problems (speaking from bitter experience-I felt about 1000 times worse as I thought ‘fuck even therapy can’t help me’ but it was the wrong therapy and far too short term’).

I think people trying to be helpful suggest it. I also think GPs with no other options offer what is available abs hope for the best.

Another point is that people get CBT and counselling mixed up. They are radically different.