That vulnerable people shouldn’t be advised to have counselling

[Hollyandlilac]

I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t have it if they want it, but AIBU to think that it being presented as something that will help heal or cure you is wrong?

I’m not sure what the stats are regarding it helping people

Right. Don't you think maybe that's something you should check before you declare it doesn't help anyone and shouldn't be suggested?

Because frankly you're talking uninformed nonsense.

Having sessions with a psychologist regardless of the type of therapy can be extremely hard work, upsetting, and emotionally draining

It would be very unusual for counselling to be delivered by a psychologist.

How do you feel when someone with cancer needs surgery or chemo or radiation therapy?

Part of the issue with MH support is the availability and the fact it’s massively underfunded.

I know health care is struggling at all levels, however cancer treatment doesn’t get abandoned when it turns out the illness is bigger than they first thought. You also tend to get treated for as long as you need, rather than being told you can have 6 sessions because that’s all the funding will allow.

I’d recommend the long term, specialist talking therapy I had, to anyone with my experience, but in the U.K. right now it’s not straight forward to secure that level of help. If I’d been abandoned after a specific number of sessions, I’d have been more ill than I was at the beginning, but with the help removed. Unpacking trauma is hard and it can make you feel worse before it helps you to feel better.

It would be very unusual for counselling to be delivered by a psychologist

I imagine they mean psychotherapist. It’s an easy mistake to make.

If someone is struggling with something mentally that they can't work through on their own or with friends/family, and is asking for help, then counselling or therapy is a perfectly valid suggestion. Family and friends can't always provide that support, and neither can a GP. People usually only suggest counselling if it's blindingly obvious that the person needs help that can't be provided through other routes.

I have a family member who regularly struggles with mental health issues and needs a lot of emotional support from me. Their GP has suggested medication, which they didn't feel was right for them so they stopped taking it. When I suggested counselling or therapy, they told me they didn't want to do that - but in effect, they are basically using me as their counsellor or therapist, wanting to talk through their issues in detail and asking me to analyse their reactions all the time. I'm not qualified to do that, and it's a massive emotional strain on me. So yes, I do think people in some situations absolutely should be pushed towards counselling. The alternative is either that they go on being miserable and/or that their personal relationships crumble because they're leaning so heavily on the people around them for a very draining form of support.

I work for an organisation that provides counseling for vulnerable people, but I think I can see what you mean, OP.

Too often people with little knowledge of mental health treatment talk about "counseling" as if it's the only, and best, treat-all for anything from bereavement to psychosis. And often they think it's the same thing as psychotherapy, which it isn't.

It's often dished out to patients who won't benefit from it, because GPs can't access better options. As a result, people who need more intensive care are rerouted to unsuitable lightweight talking therapies and CBT, which works to prevent them from seeking the psychotherapy and medication that would actually help.

Counselling/therapy does help a lot of people after a bereavement or going through a difficult time though. Having a safe space to vent openly with someone impartial can help release and ease a lot of the pain and hurt they’re carrying.

That said, it’s not for everyone and not a fix all for every problem. It sounds like maybe you have an issue with the semantics of saying someone ‘needs’ counselling rather than the treatment itself. But I don’t think most people mean it to be offensive or upset anyone, they’re just trying to offer a solution, maybe a bit clumsily.

It does do all 3 of the things you suggest, although it’s not a panacea and it’s not the primary intervention in crisis as others have said. You may not get the right counsellor immediately and it can be that you require support for years but I don’t believe it’s harmful or wrong to suggest.

I know what you mean OP

Both mum and I have regular check ups for physical health things. When my dad died, we both felt they pushed counselling and I even got a follow up call! We don't have the same GP.

I wondered if the NHS have a target now.

I think it depends doesn't it.

I mean I don't agree with pathologising what should be considered normal rational feelings in order to make life easier fir everyone else around them.

I dont agree with counselling as a way to erode someone's personal boundaries like their feelings are a problem when in fact they are perfectly normal understandable and rational..

But a safe space to talk and learn the tools to deal with problems is a good thing surely?

Although I think its imperative that the ficus remains on the person and their are actual.problems to he dealt with. Being difficult or inconvenient or a source if shame for others should not necessarily be the reasoning.

My GP always insists I have counselling for my anxiety and depression.

Firstly I know all the local counsellors because they used to use my workplace and I wouldn't want to talk about personal problems with any of them.

Secondly I know exactly why I have the problems I have. I can analyse exactly why I'm insecure etc.

I hate counselling being pushed as a solution. My DSis had years of it and it caused a complete breakdown of her relationship with our DM, which was very sad. Maybe it helps some people, but I see it as extremely unhealthy and unhelpful.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'vulnerable people', but there are some 'fixes' that are repeatedly pushed on Mumsnet, in particular, that are not suitable for all.

Client-centred counselling doesn't work for many neurodivergent people, for example. CBT isn't particularly helpful for complex trauma (and can exacerbate it, in some instances). Mindfulness is not recommended for people with a history of psychotic episodes.

So, yes, I kind of agree, in the sense that 'just get counselling' isn't particularly helpful.

@rainbowmash

I work for an organisation that provides counseling for vulnerable people, but I think I can see what you mean, OP.

Too often people with little knowledge of mental health treatment talk about "counseling" as if it's the only, and best, treat-all for anything from bereavement to psychosis. And often they think it's the same thing as psychotherapy, which it isn't.

It's often dished out to patients who won't benefit from it, because GPs can't access better options. As a result, people who need more intensive care are rerouted to unsuitable lightweight talking therapies and CBT, which works to prevent them from seeking the psychotherapy and medication that would actually help.

Yes, you've explained this in a better way than I did in my post above.

I’d be very suspicious of a cure for cancer that

had to be self funded
where the patient is told that if the treatment didn’t work, they are doing it wrong
or maybe if someone else did the treatment it might work

Very suspicious of that indeed.

@DysmalRadius - I agree. Mine spent more time talking about herself & her own problems than focussing on me. Because I was 'easy to talk to'.

I do think that counsellors can make things worse, not better. Not all counsellors are both ethical and good at what they do.

I'd say YANBU. I've read about research that suggested that in some scenarios, such as a, traumatic event, for many people talking to family and friends is enough and counselling could be focusing on it too much and making it harder to move on. So, sure, if people want it, but certainly no one should be told they have to have it and won't be able to cope without it. People are resilient and a lot of the time our own resources are enough. Although I totally believe in therapy etc when appropriate.

I’m really glad you started this thread. Counselling is always seen as a helpful solution and it’s never acknowledged that for some people it’s not helpful and in some cases can be harmful. It’s often pushed on people to help them find solutions to problems that don’t exist to the person it’s being suggested to, simply because the person suggesting it doesn’t understand the other persons life / behaviour. I’m not sure if I’ve explained that very well. I have lots of personal experience with this.