Would this upset you?

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I live in a deprived area, it's actually on the news fairly frequently as it is the most deprived area in our large city. (not London though)
My children's school has quite a few children living in high rise flats,have free school meals, food banks and clothes banks etc are common.

Every nursery and reception child need waterproof overalls and wellies to be kept at school.
When my oldest started at this school we lived in a flat, I was a single parent on benefits.
We used our wellies daily to get out of the filthy flat. I couldn't afford the overalls but sent in stained joggers to be used outside, even if they were put on over the school trousers that would be OK.
I used to ask if I could have the wellies back after school every day and the teacher are a massive fuss, nobody else took theirs home, blah blah blah.
it was embarrassing and upsetting.

I don't mean to judge, but she had a nice car, nice clothes, a career, and a posh accent. She was clearly the kind of person that chose to work in a deprived school so she could help us little paupers out.
She kept asking me when we were going to get the overalls and she said 'they are only £15 on amazon' at the time I was fucking freezing in the draughty damp flat with a new baby unable to heat the one room because the storage heater cost £2+ a day. which I couldn't afford.

Me and the children's dad got back together and he works so we could afford the overalls and I found a pair of wellies in the second hand shop to leave at school.

Now a few years later we are better off financially.
and I get a news letter when my younger child is in nursery asking for parents to donate their old wellies.
I think Halelujah! they aren't going to make the people round here buy extra wellies to keep at school! they are asking for some to keep there as school wellies that the children can use!
So I ask around for wellies and give a few pairs.
feeling like finally i am given closure for the whole ordeal with the teacher not getting we can't afford firsts, never mind multiples.

A couple of months go by and my daughter comes home with a wellie boot full of compost with a little plant growing. I cried. They wanted the boots to be used as planters or pots. Which didn't work anyway because there were no drainage holes so the plant was sad and drowning anyway.
I would have donated £5 for them to buy pots. or they could have pot noodle pots or other kinds of upcycled rubbish destined for landfill but they used wellies that they expected to buy 2 pairs of for one child. It just seems so wasteful and out of touch with the reality of how people are living in that area. if it was a private school ot wouldn't seem like such a punch to the gut (but it'd still seem wasteful and inappropriate for plants as pots should have good drainage anyway.

This was last year so it's old news now. I just thought I'd shar

@2Gen That's a lovely way to put it,

I suppose that as we have experienced that depth of poverty, we KNOW the values of the most humble things, even a pair of old wellies

Very poetic and just a lovely way to word it.

I think what annoyed me most was I didn't feel poor or deprived, in fact when I loved into that flat I felt lucky because it was council owned so cheaper, and a secure tenancy. No landlord to "just pop in" or chuck us out or increase the rent. I was managing fine, we had hot water bottles to cuddle in to and played in a play tent in the living room because they warm up quickly and are fun. I was feeling savvy and not down and out about my situation, that was until my son started school and I was like "?!?!?!!!". I felt ashamed and embarrassed when before I felt fine.

I didn't chat to any of the parents because I was embarrassed that they could hear that I couldn't get the spare wellies or overalls and it wasn't until years later I got chatting and found out they felt the same. it really does seem to be just a lack of common sense, and also a lack of concern for the environment! An astronomical waste whether you can afford It or not

@LolaButt they really do!
Having small children is hard enough and even higher income parents have to tighten their belts in these years because of having time off for maternity or stopping work or childcare costs.

It all sounds very thoughtless.

'only £15'
I would absolutely bring it up, not about the teacher per se but as a parent's perspective.
The fruit salad thing is really thoughtless and tone-deaf too. And these are teachers who teach the next generations! I despair sometimes.

or just the regular costs of stroller, carseat (we don't have a car but needed a car seat to take our babies home from hospital, I could have cried when my midwife told me that, I even considered a he birth because of it. thankfully I didn't as we would have both died if I did) but that was £40 I could have used. And you can't get them second hand incase they are unsafe. Even just for that one journey. And then there is formula, bottles, clothes. even second hand ot adds up and I couldn't find bottles second hand either!

[quote halbejqgwjdhsjshdkdhdj]@LolaButt they really do!
Having small children is hard enough and even higher income parents have to tighten their belts in these years because of having time off for maternity or stopping work or childcare costs.[/quote]
Definitely. I’m in a completely different situation now, but being poor for so long is something that stays with you.

It sounds like ethos of school - some schools do seem to go in for the do every dress up day. I can fully see how you felt about welly situation - everyone else left them at school and you had to feel awkward asking for them back. It’s same with don’t buy anything special - just customise an old jumper/wear yellow etc it’s not helping if child doesn’t have anything like that.
You could email head and explain that uniform requirements put financial pressure on people plus aren’t environmentally friendly eg barely worn wellies outgrown.
You were pleased when they suggested the send in wellies thing as you assumed for school supplies to be built up but were disappointed usable wellies were wasted.
Could you suggest a push to build up a stash of wellies and suits and maybe things like costumes and Christmas jumpers. Obviously benefits everyone and environment. Do you have time to volunteer to help run it.

I would speak to member of the Senior Leadship Team and a school governor *in fact become one and be there to remind them how hard it is for families.

Yanbu at all and I feel angry on your behalf. Schools should be far more sensitive to this.

Wow, I can totally see why you are upset, and why it's upsetting in general. I saw some welly planters recently and had planned to plant up my sons old wellies that are too small. I do give away his old clothes, but the planters looked so nice that I kept his boots.

You've made me stop and think that I should find a home for them to be used rather than the frivolousness I had planned. we all need a little help sometimes, and no one should have to worry about providing clothes for their children. Thank you for making me think about it.

[quote halbejqgwjdhsjshdkdhdj]@WhaleSnail I doubt many parents have mentioned it to the school but just chatting to one another "and another thing......" type conversations. It would be too embarrassing to go up to a well paid teacher and say "you're upsetting me because

I'm poor."
it made me feel really inadequate and really I was alright. as others have said, no child needs 2 pairs of the same shoe.[/quote]
I didn’t phrase it well I didn’t mean parents had complained just that they mentioned too to you. So it’s obviously an issue in the school. They really need to know. I would write to head but not to complain just explain the economics of what they are asking etc for many of their families. They really need a fresh take on how they interact with their families.

Schools often just don't get it.
Ours INSISTED every child needed trainers for PE. Sent in a PE kit, to be kept at school. As it was for school I brought the nicest ones I could afford in September.
They were returned UNWORN and too small the following July

The following September another letter, yes you've guessed it "trainers needed for PE kit. FFS

They also made a big deal about "wellies for a sponsored dig" in the school garden. Several parents questioned this, and asked if they could use any old boots instead. No. It's got to be wellies. Come the day, they were in their (brand new) wellies for all of 10 mins. On questioning the teacher said "oh we didn't want them to mess up their school shoes!!" Well actually I would have put the wellies money to school shoes. Not a clue!!

Don't get me started on world book day, or Red Nose Day

I think that you should bring it up. Absolutely. Those wellies could have kept many children's feet warm from the rain, instead were used for bloody planting.

Aside from that, you're absolutely correct that pot noodle tubs etc- the crap that goes to landfil otherwise could have been uncalled by the kids as an eco project.

We live in a similar area and I'd be horrified if the children in DDs school were expected to craft with something that at that point may have been needed.

I also agree, the teacher was tone deaf to the situational circumstances of many in the area in which she teaches. Only £15 is more than a lot of families have to spend on their weekly food shop in many circumstances in our area.

Your post made me so sad.

I’m imagining other kids who might not have wellies / have one pair / have an old pair worn by several siblings, seeing the wealth of donated wellies and then seeing them all ruined by planting.

Do mention something to the head teacher.

Our school is in an extremely deprived area (parts of skint were filmed there). They have a stock of all sorts of uniform, PE kit, coats, wellies etc and these are lent or given to children discreetly according to need. They never do anything which would stigmatise those who can't afford to join in - there are no dressing up days, selling raffle tickets (other than at the school office) etc.

OP you wrote your post extremely well. I would send exactly that. It's touching and may help some staff to understand