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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To roll my eyes at these gifts

89 replies

Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 21:01

Birthday was recently and a relative bought me Star Wars oven gloves and dish clothes, as they know I love Star Wars. DPs birthday was in October and he was bought lovely t-shirts by the same relative.

Is it just me who thinks that handing someone kitchen gear as a gift is a little shitty? It's not just for the birthday girl, it's for everyone in the house 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 22:26

[quote Arabellla]@sadpapercourtesan what a nasty post. I’ve reported you.[/quote]
@Arabellla

What did she say??

OP posts:
RubyRedNails · 20/02/2022 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

yoyo1234 · 20/02/2022 22:27

I rather like getting themed tea towels as take up little space and make me smile and are practical. Did they think you would like the theme and not want to get you the same as DH?

Kite22 · 20/02/2022 22:27

YABU. As a grown up I’d be happy with novelty housewares but not novelty clothing. Clearly you feel differently, but it was a nice idea.

This ^
I mean, if you always got "things for the kitchen" and your dh always got "things for him personally" then that would BU, but I would presume the person saw the Star Wars, and thought "Ooh, Emilyaparis likes Star Wars - I'll get them for her", in a thoughtful and personalised thinking way. Like my friend who likes owls - everyone buys her things with owls on them, whether it is a brooch / teatowel / scarf / bag / mug / ornament / or whatever. They see 'Owl' and think of her, not 'oven glove - oh, it must be right for a woman.
So, YABU

Original poster
Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 22:28

@BlaBlaFishcakes

*Last summer I had a conversation with this some person and it happened to come into conversation that I would never buy a woman kitchen stuff because I think it's a little sexist, not to mention it's a household gift, so not really a gift for the person at all.

They completely agreed with me, and then bought me kitchen stuff 😅*
Is it possible it was a jokey reference to the conversation between you? So maybe clumsy, but meant to be taken with humour rather than as a hint that you should spend more time in the kitchen?

Maybe? 🤣🤣 God knows lol
OP posts:
DoYouWantDecking · 20/02/2022 22:29

It is shite, lazy and sexist. If they were being equal they'd have bought house goods for your husband.

@43EKGEMS ... lace doilies are an absolutely AWFUL gift. Vs Swiss army knife! I'd have howled.

This is just a common theme... look at Mumsnet' suggestions for mothers day tat presents... candles and flowery useless shit.
Fathers day ideas are all geeky useful or interesting things you might actually use.

Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

violetmonster · 20/02/2022 22:31

Hmm if they'd got you some random oven gloves from m&s then I'd totally agree with you but the fact that they're on theme with something you do like at least suggests that they tried to get you something you liked? If they're otherwise usually nice I'd probably give them the benefit of the doubt

Original poster
Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 22:32

@Kite22

YABU. As a grown up I’d be happy with novelty housewares but not novelty clothing. Clearly you feel differently, but it was a nice idea.

This ^
I mean, if you always got "things for the kitchen" and your dh always got "things for him personally" then that would BU, but I would presume the person saw the Star Wars, and thought "Ooh, Emilyaparis likes Star Wars - I'll get them for her", in a thoughtful and personalised thinking way. Like my friend who likes owls - everyone buys her things with owls on them, whether it is a brooch / teatowel / scarf / bag / mug / ornament / or whatever. They see 'Owl' and think of her, not 'oven glove - oh, it must be right for a woman.
So, YABU

Fair enough!
OP posts:
Original poster
Emilyaparis · 20/02/2022 22:34

@violetmonster

Hmm if they'd got you some random oven gloves from m&s then I'd totally agree with you but the fact that they're on theme with something you do like at least suggests that they tried to get you something you liked? If they're otherwise usually nice I'd probably give them the benefit of the doubt
Yea you're right!

I just remember a story from years ago. A girl in work told me her husband "forgot" to get her a Christmas present and ran out last minute and bought her a small kitchen appliance (I can't remember what), and she was a little hurt.

I think my brain always takes me back to that when I think of a woman getting kitchenware as a gift, so I'm a little sensitive about it lol

OP posts:
MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 20/02/2022 22:36

DH got me (as part of lots of small gifts) a pizza tray once, I was making a weekly fathead keto pizza so I can see why he did it but my reaction was "Eh? For my birthday?" He acknowledged it was a bit shit, but I could see there was a thought process behind it so it was ok.

Some years before that I got given a Death Star chopping board. Keto pizza aside I'm not particularly cooking orientated, but it was the Death Star so I fucking loved it Grin 🤷‍♀️

I have an R2D2 wine stopper as well, now that's a Star Wars/Kitchen product I can really get behind!!

ThinWomansBrain · 20/02/2022 22:37

just scrolled down to the bottom to write a comment that wd have been pretty much the same as violetmonster's

who knew that you could get star wars themed oven gloves?

BBOA · 20/02/2022 22:38

It’s like being given an iron or a hoover for your birthday! Probably well meant with the SW theme .

Wineoclockx · 20/02/2022 22:39

My oven gloves are threadbare, I’d love it if someone bought me a pair. But not Star Wars ones.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 20/02/2022 22:39

I'm quite practical so would quite like a useful household gift. I don't have masses of space to be storing unnecessary stuff. Although, if it's a gift from dh, I would expect a "special" version, like the themed oven gloves, not regular ones... Wink

ThinWomansBrain · 20/02/2022 22:42

& I've been given gifts of aprons and oven gloves with cats on & not been offended other than it's a bit thoughtless because if you use the oven gloves the cats on them might get burned

HundredMilesAnHour · 20/02/2022 22:42

My (male) neighbour looked after my pets recently while I was away in California and I brought him a Yoda spatula back (from Williams-Sonoma so actually a really high end cookshop Yoda spatula). He loves cooking and he loves Star Wars. He was delighted. Or maybe he was just pretending since OP thinks Star Wars kitchen gear is a rubbish gift. Blush

MrsBlaue · 20/02/2022 22:44

Is this a serious question?😆 The inference there is someone out there willing to put up with this is beyond me

LetHimHaveIt · 20/02/2022 22:57

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. A bit.

Ok. I'm the relative. I know you like Star Wars, for example, so that's a possibility when buying your present. There are four or five things I might think of - memorabilia is too expensive. Lego (probably) too childish. Clothing is an idea, but I'd be worried that anything I could find might be a bit 'extra' for you to actually wear in public. That leaves stationery or homeware. You're not an adolescent boy, so probably no to the former. So - homeware. Ok. You might not be particularly interested in cooking, but presumably you have a kitchen, so oven gloves/apron are a decent bet. They sort of say 'I like 'Star Wars' without declaiming 'I LIKE 'STAR WARS', I DO!

NeedAHoliday2021 · 20/02/2022 23:07

Clearly people have different views but dh once bought me “pretty” oven gloves. My face said it all. So I get lovely oven gloves and either they’re actually a shared item or… dh plans to just burn his hands when using the oven… or I’m the only one using them and expected to cook every meal for the foreseeable future. They were nice oven gloves but as a gift? Nope. But I guess some people must be happy with that as a gift. I’d have hoped dh knows me better.

AliceMcK · 20/02/2022 23:07

Where did they get them? Sounds like they would go perfect with all the Star Wars themed kitchenware I’ve but my DH over the years.

Curiousmouse · 20/02/2022 23:14

Oh stop moaning. You were bought a gift. The giver meant well.

KarmaStar · 20/02/2022 23:16

Yabu.
They thought you'd love them!
Ungrateful.

caranations · 20/02/2022 23:23

I want some Star Wars oven gloves now.

musicalfrog · 20/02/2022 23:33

@Arabellla

Another irritating thread where everyone blatantly ignores that OP has said she is not interested in kitchen stuff.
So everyone's expected to be a mindreader now 🤔