To be so disappointed and upset with my friend for neglecting her dog?

[JuliTooley]

Hi,

So my best friend got a dog a few months ago. I told her at the time I didn’t think she should has she didn’t have the time or resources to take care of one but she got it anyway.

I love animals and am becoming increasingly upset about how she treats it. A few examples:

1. She got him from an obvious back yard breeder, because he was cheap and she didn’t want to spend the money on a well bred dog
2. She has not had him vaccinated
3. She never takes him out for more than a few minutes a day, if he is lucky
4. She does not have pet insurance
5. She did no training and now he is destructive yet she gets angry with him and blames him for his bad behaviour
6. She is not going to get him neutered as she thinks it would be “fun” and “cute” for him to have puppies, (he’s a poor example of the breed and not KC registered)
7. She buys the cheapest possible food for him, which means he constantly has the runs

All of this just makes me so disappointed in her. I feel my friend was so selfish in getting the dog in the first place, as all of this was so predictable, hence why I suggested she hold off for a while before getting a dog. I also absolutely hate seeing the poor dog not being treated properly and suffering as a result.

If this was just any friend I would honestly cut off the friendship but she is my best friend and I am the godmother to her DC.

AIBU to be this upset over someone else’s dog?

She sounds inexperienced perhaps, but I don’t think she is neglectful. Lots of people feed their dog cheap food and they do fine.
Puppies are destructive, and can’t walk far.
I think there is a real issue with dogs at the moment being locked in crates for too long etc but I don’t see that this is a case of cruelty. Maybe just chat to her about how she is finding the dog and maybe you can help x

Does your friend have the dog microchipped?

Because that is now a legal requirement, and I would have thought the vet would have had words with her if they felt the dog was not healthy when taken in for those.

I thought that not seeking veterinary help when dog is ill is considered to be neglect, so if it really does have the runs all the time, that could be considered neglect.

I think it is sad how it is normalised that dogs don;t need walking. Some dogs in my street get walked at the weekends only

@Stellaris22

If it's euthanasia or an animal suffering, then yes, it's fairer to have the animal put down.

However an owner shouldn't be making this choice. If you can't afford insurance and don't have the funds to cover treatment then you shouldn't be buying the animal in the first place.

This. I can't believe that anyone thinks that actively choosing not to insure because they can PTS is OK. Seriously? Tossers.

You sound judgy, not all dogs are kennel club registered.
We got our dog from a farm and he's not kc but they were not back yard breeders either....

yep. No point paying for KC registration for a family pet.

There's now two posts on this thread saying that euthanasia is ok when you can't afford treatment.

Obviously circumstances can change after acquiring a pet. But to buy a pet knowing you can't afford insurance or treatment, knowing you'll choose euthanasia if treatment is too expensive, it's awful and no way to treat an animal in your care.

@namechanged221

You sound judgy, not all dogs are kennel club registered. We got our dog from a farm and he's not kc but they were not back yard breeders either....

But the OP never voiced any worries about it not being KC registered.

@Stellaris22

There's now two posts on this thread saying that euthanasia is ok when you can't afford treatment.

Obviously circumstances can change after acquiring a pet. But to buy a pet knowing you can't afford insurance or treatment, knowing you'll choose euthanasia if treatment is too expensive, it's awful and no way to treat an animal in your care.

Honestly, I can't believe someone would admit that, even on anonymous forum. Its horrific.

I sort of agree, but there are limits. I read on here about people spending thousands upon thousands on their Pets. Yes, get insurance, yes have savings for unexpected surprises but most people who say their are no limits on what they would spend on a pet are not being honest with themselves

@Stellaris22

There's now two posts on this thread saying that euthanasia is ok when you can't afford treatment.

Obviously circumstances can change after acquiring a pet. But to buy a pet knowing you can't afford insurance or treatment, knowing you'll choose euthanasia if treatment is too expensive, it's awful and no way to treat an animal in your care.

I think you are all misinterpreting my posts. nowhere did I say that not insuring because you can euthanise is okay, but it is a better option than leaving an animal to suffer, which is more frequently the case. I agree that you shouldn't go out and buy a pet you can't afford, but sadly many do. There are also animals that are uninsurable, as the financial hardships start to kick in for many households I expect any owners will be faced with difficult decisions.

I would find that situation upsetting too, OP.

How much did she pay for this puppy?

I couldn't be friends with someone who could treat a pet like that.

I've got 2 dogs and my DC joke that they're better treated than they are.

@Eupraxia

Bought a few months ago as a puppy? So dog is around 16 weeks old?

(1) Cheap doesn't mean backyard breeder. Expensive definitely doesn't mean not a backyard breeder
(2) Some vets have long waiting lists. Possible that she's waiting for an appointment.
(3) Because not vaccinated yet? Very young pups need very little walking.
(4) not an indication of poor dog ownership at all
(5) lots if puppies are destructive and grow out of it. Much depends on your interpretation.
(6) You just sound judgmental.
(7) thus isn't an indication of poor dog ownership.

You don't sound like a very nice friend.

Why are tot assuming she is just thinking all these things ? Obviously she knows as she said she knows ! If that was my friend I would report her to the Rspca ! Stupid comment as usual on here 😴

Op report her please . Poor puppy .

Most of those things aren't awful. The only reason I would be very upset with a friend in these circumstances is if they abandoned the dog for most of the day while they worked/didn't protect the dog from physical violence/left it outside in the cold with no human interaction. Basically things that would leave the poor animal stressed and miserable. I'd have to say something as I would find it distressing. Not getting vaccinated and having very basic dog food isn't great but it's not worth losing a best friend over. Although I can see how it could lower your opinion of her.

I do sympathise though when you KNOW something is a bad idea and someone goes ahead with it. So frustrating. I'm trying to dissuade my sister from getting a dog for similar reasons. Her children are more feral than any animal! I just know if they have a tiny defensless puppy in the house her middle child will hurt it. Luckily she appears to have taken my advice that she should wait (for now) but I will feel similar to you if it goes ahead.

I’m guessing pup hasn’t been wormed either? That may be cause of the diarrhoea rather than the food. Do you know which food she feeds exactly? Some cheaper foods aren’t terrible… I’d always recommend something like purina pro plan though which isn’t cheap.

She’s just ignorant to his needs, add her into lots of facebook dog groups and tag her in things that are cute / interesting / funny and also stuff that is educational. She’ll soon learn. But don’t go lecturing her.

What type of breed is the dog? Some breeds can get really bad health issues down the line.

@PanickedE

I’m guessing pup hasn’t been wormed either? That may be cause of the diarrhoea rather than the food. Do you know which food she feeds exactly? Some cheaper foods aren’t terrible… I’d always recommend something like purina pro plan though which isn’t cheap.

yep, and more expensive food does not equal better quality. I'm not a raw bore but it is true that you don't really know what your dog is eating unless you make their food yourself.

Worms could well be it, but also, puppy! It's totally normal for a pup to have loose stools, esp if different types of food are being experimented with.