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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why arent we all tagging our kids?

227 replies

COL1N · 18/02/2022 19:10

Just reading up on buying an airtag as always losing stuff & started thought process of getting one to sew into DDs coat. She is only 2 so not a privacy/ stalking type issue I dont think- just if the worst happened and she was snatched or lost I could find her easily. Why doesn't everyone just do this as standard?!

OP posts:
karmakameleon · 18/02/2022 21:19

@nosyupnorth

Because it's super creepy to give Apple a database of where your child is at all times.

And since you are presumably with your child it is also a database of your locations. Which I'm assuming you have registered to the same account you use for other devices, which they will then cross reference your data with in order to keeping building up the detailed profile of you which they sell to marketers etc.

These devices aren't private, and you really need to think more about what data you're handing over.

Presumably if you’re using an apple air tag you already have an iPhone so this isn’t a new/ additional risk Confused
grapewine · 18/02/2022 21:19

@nosyupnorth

Because it's super creepy to give Apple a database of where your child is at all times.

And since you are presumably with your child it is also a database of your locations. Which I'm assuming you have registered to the same account you use for other devices, which they will then cross reference your data with in order to keeping building up the detailed profile of you which they sell to marketers etc.

These devices aren't private, and you really need to think more about what data you're handing over.

💯 this.
kittensinthekitchen · 18/02/2022 21:19

I'm not tagging my kids because they are teenagers.

One doesn't leave the house, the other... well, there's Find My iPhone Grin

eunicetoseeyou · 18/02/2022 21:21

One of my babys was tagged in hospital, either 2008 or 2010, think it was the first....

Seemed a bit weird because it was on so loose like a wristband it could easily be slipped off. Do hospitals still do this?

100problems · 18/02/2022 21:29

This reply has been deleted

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100problems · 18/02/2022 21:29

Air tag

cheekychaplin · 18/02/2022 21:34

Has no one here lost sight of the little one in a supermarket or somewhere similar? Where nothing bad has happened to the child, they've just wandered off.

Never. They either say in the trolley or buggy or if I wasn't buying a lot in the shop I would hold their hands. I was very aware of how easy it can be for a little one to wander/be taken/get lost and made sure it never happened to mine.

Surely the tag would be useful in such a situation, you'd see they are still in the vicinity, just elsewhere in the shop.

I think it would actually be a distraction in that situation as it would delay you physically looking and being able to alert staff and ask for help. Are they even so accurate that they will show which area of a shop they are in?

QueenofDestruction · 18/02/2022 21:34

There are privacy issues as children have the rights in regard to their own data or trumped by parents. Maybe you could get away with it until they can talk...

cuno · 18/02/2022 21:36

Did you miss the recent thread about tracking kids OP?

RedToothBrush · 18/02/2022 21:43

So you will let your guard down and are less likely to keep your eyes on her constantly like you should do, and carry on gabbing to your mate for an extra minute because you are lulled into a false sense of security.

Meanwhile she wanders off, and is hit by a car or takes off her coat, trips and falls into a couple of inches of water and drowns or someone has an extra few seconds to leg it with her before you realise (especially if they remove the coat to try and make it harder to identify her)

Don't use tech to do parenting. Its lazy and might put your kid more at risk than if you just watched them.

poTAYtoes · 18/02/2022 21:44

I don't see a problem with it, if it makes you feel safer, though I'm not sure how likely you are to ever use it. It's your own young child. You're supposed to keep track of them! It's not like you're trying to stalk or spy on another adult, which would be creepy.

blueshoes · 18/02/2022 21:47

Our entire family has the iphone Find My App. We can all track each other if we choose. We had to get consent from teenage dcs because they have to accept being tracked on their phones. We are fine with this as a family.

Both dcs are given a lot of freedom in London where they can get round by themselves with friends on public transport. They could easily turn off the tracker unilaterally.

Just like there are always on webcams, motion cameras in certain areas of the house. We have a dash cam in our car. It is for security reasons.

I think people's sense of privacy is being eroded.

I don't see the problem with tracking a toddler. No parent is going to be more lax just because they can track their child. The tracker is just a fail safe but one day it could save the child's life.

HestersSamplerofCarrots · 18/02/2022 21:48

I think the fact that you’ve of tagging your toddler as if she’s a pair of car keys is really quite disturbing.

x2boys · 18/02/2022 21:52

@COL1N

So what if instead of coat it was in her joggers pocket, surely a kidnapper wouldn't immediately take all her clothes off. Also, what is she was just lost or had wandered off? She wouldn't take her own coat off.
Somebody who wants to abduct a two year old is going to be pretty sinister so I imagine they may immediately remove all the child's clothes
RedToothBrush · 18/02/2022 21:57

@poTAYtoes

I don't see a problem with it, if it makes you feel safer, though I'm not sure how likely you are to ever use it. It's your own young child. You're supposed to keep track of them! It's not like you're trying to stalk or spy on another adult, which would be creepy.
As on the other thread.

TRACKING DEVICES DONT MAKE YOU SAFER
TRACKING DEVICES ARE A SECURITY BLANKET. AN EMOTIONAL CRUTCH, TO HELP WITH ANXIETY

They can lull people into a false sense of security. In this sense they have the potential to put people at more risk rather than less.

Be aware of what tracking devices actually can do (not what you think they do) and what the pitfalls and potential abuses they may have.

If you are asking 'whats the harm' or 'I don't know why everyone isn't using them' thats a good clue that you havent done enough research on this and should perhaps do some thinking on the negatives BEFORE singing the virtues of such a device.

Campfirewood · 18/02/2022 22:04

My youngest is a real flight risk. I’ve lost him before (in a shop) and it was one of the worst moments of my life. So I totally get this Op. I’ll definitely take a look.

Cissyandflora · 18/02/2022 22:06

@CurtainTroubles

What if it’s a warm day and she takes her coat off? What if she wants to wear a different coat that day? Do you just sew a tag into every item of clothing? Put a microchip under her skin? Where does it stop?
Probably stops at putting tag in the coat
Lovemusic33 · 18/02/2022 22:12

I lost dd in a shop when she was 4, thought she had gone out of the shop and was in complete panic, I had dh with me so would have thought it wouldn’t be that likely a 4 year old could disappear but she did. Luckily she had managed to sneak out the back room of the shop but my point is ‘kids can disappear quite quickly’.

My dc are older now it youngest has Autism and I have considered tagging her when we are in busy places because it’s hard work keeping a close eye on her and she tends to wonder, she has a mobile but refused to use it so I can’t track her using that, she’s not very verbal and couldn’t as a stranger for help.

Embracelife · 18/02/2022 22:20

@karmakameleon

DH has put them in all our kids coats and I think it’s quite sensible. Not because I think they’ll be kidnapped but just in case they wander off. It would take seconds to relocate them if they did get lost.
What happens when they not wearing the coat? It s summer on the beach?
Lovemydoggie · 18/02/2022 22:20

What kind of crazy world do we live in? Tagging children,monitoring their phones ,worrying about sleepovers incase a parent is a paedo,worrying if a dad picks up from activity and so it goes on …bloody ridiculous…I genuinely think parents anxiety is going to send you all to an early grave ….just use your common sense !!
My kids played at friends house ,I picked about 6 ,had sleepovers…can only remember a disaster because it was moth season and I had a bunch of hysterical 10 year olds …still al good and they are now functioning 20 plus year olds ….
Just calm down…they will be ok …unless you are running a dealer den 🙄

Voice0fReason · 18/02/2022 22:24

These didn't exist when my children were younger, and for various reasons, I could easily have lost them. That meant I had to work hard at ensuring their safety. we came up with a range of strategies to help me find them and them find me.

If we had had tags, I don't think we would have put that level of effort in. I think that developing the strategies that we did, was good for both them and me.

As teens, we used phone tracking on specified occasions, never as a matter of routine.

BoredZelda · 18/02/2022 22:25

she gets lost so all energies are concentrated on the air tag and the location of the coat.....when in reality the coat is ditched and she's in the opposite direction but nobody bothers to alert or ensure road closures/checks elsewhere because all focus is on where the airbag is located

meanwhile, the kid is long gone

“All energies” 😆

Not exactly rocket science to locate a tag and doesn’t take a whole police squad’s efforts to do it.

NumberTheory · 18/02/2022 22:27

@100problems

It's not creepy, but it's not practical as kids lose coats all the time. That's a coat plus a £29 tag.

They are a great device for older kids at school that all have identical bags or like DS can mislay a bag or keys in seconds.

You're better off watching little ones like a hawk than relying on a tag. Misplaced security is what'll do more harm.

Great way to find lost coats again, though.

I think they’d be great for finding lost kit. Could really have used them for DCs’ PE kit in reception. IF they came down in price then could be useful on quite a bit of clothing.

For lost kids - if you have a runner it might be useful. But probably easier to have one on a wrist band or pin you put on them each day than on a particular item of clothing. For most kids I think probably more of a distraction. Kidnapping (especially by a stranger) is so extraordinarily rare this sort of thinking is unlikely to be effective. Spend time thinking about the problems that your child really faces.

BoredZelda · 18/02/2022 22:27

These didn't exist when my children were younger, and for various reasons, I could easily have lost them. That meant I had to work hard at ensuring their safety. we came up with a range of strategies to help me find them and them find me.

If we had had tags, I don't think we would have put that level of effort in. I think that developing the strategies that we did, was good for both them and me.

Yeah, using tech means we’ve all lost the ability to think, and are really lazy parents who can’t put in any effort.

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/02/2022 22:29

I couldn't live like this.