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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at the in-laws for buying another car seat when the one thay have is perfectly fine?

49 replies

BexieID · 02/01/2008 11:51

The in-laws have just ordered a Fisher-Price Safe Voyage 3 Stage Booster Seat because the Maxi-cosi xp was loose in their car! DF had a right mega at them and told them it wasn't in right and why didn't they look at the instructions before buying another car seat.

I remember someone saying that the Fisher Price ones were one of the worst car seats you can buy so i'm really panicking now. The new car seat probably won't get sent back as DF says his parents never take anything back, but I don't want Tom going in it if they aren't any good, IYKWIM.

Please tell me i'm overeacting!

OP posts:

Emprexia · 02/01/2008 12:38

The Britax Eclipse is marvellous for taking in and out of the car.. sooo easy for me to refit in my parents car when we go out in theirs instead of mine.

but op.. YABU.. its their money, not yours. and while the Fisher Price seat isn't as good as the Maxi Cosi, it HAS passed the standard safety tests required of every seat on the market.

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:39

Comeon hercules, i bet they have some faults though. They probably go badger baiting or something. Come on Bex, you've got to turn this thread around somehow....

hercules1 · 02/01/2008 12:41

I'm sure they do! No one is perfect after all . I still don't get this one though but I expect op will enlighten us with some horrific stories so we can all agree with her how awful they are!

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:46

Yeah, come on Bex, they're evil arent they? I bet they do loads of awaful stuff. Do they smoke in the car with all the windows down while ds chokes in the back? Do they give him skittles when you arent looking? There has to be something!

Tortington · 02/01/2008 12:47

i think your in laws taking an interest and spending money on your childs safety is fucking outragous, i think next time the cheeky fuckers should wait on your every word when it comes to your child - how very dare they make a decision about a piece of safety equipment which is on the market has been thoroughly tested and must come up to safety standards.

be careful my sweet, if you push them away to much - they will simply go away

then when your precious baby is 4 you will be posting about how granny and pops dont give a flying fuck, dont evey buy your kid anything, never take him anywhere and never call round anymore all they ae interested in is spending their spare moey on themselves and getting a lovely garage and house and going on holidays and complaining how they never help you out because a huge bill came/lost job/huge house repair/other guarenteed life costing money event...and now your skint whilst they have a gold plated garage roof - arnt they selfish?

give them some slack - and i hope your dp is an only child because if there are other randchildren either existing or may come n the future and you are pissing off inlaws now, then i guarentee the other grandchildren will get the attention and you will feel jealous as fcuk that your inlaws whom you disliked so intently at one stage love so dearly the other siblings children and cant be fucked with yours

Original poster

BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:58

No stories i'm afraid. As I said, they are lovely people and would do anything for us. MIL looks after Tom 3 nights a week when I goto work. Everyone has their faults. I'm peeved that they didn't ask how to put the Maxi-Cosi in properly.

I guess it's a qustion of 'if it aint broke, why fix it?'.

Thanks for letting me know how silly i'm being! DF may have deeper issues with them, which is why he went off like he did.

And I didn't mean to compare my dad to FIL like that. They are 2 different people after all. I just can't get my SIL raving about her dad being an engineer when I wanted to show them how to use the buggy, is all!

Fingers crossed the new seat is ok for them.

OP posts:

louloulouise · 02/01/2008 20:45

I totally see where you're coming from - it definately seems to be a problem on here that posters don't take care to read the OP properly before passing judgement!

You bought the Maxi Cosi for your LO because it was a safe car seat which fitted into their car and which you wanted them to use for your LO so you could ensure your LO was SAFE in their car.

They decide it doesn't fit (when you damn well know it does) and go and buy one which they don't even know will fit correctly - as a result your child could be riding round in a dangerous car seat. This is as bad, if not worse, than not bothering with one at all.

This is not PFB syndrome, this is taking an interest in your childs safety FFS - YANBU to insist your child is safely harnessed in their car with a car seat that is a satisfactory fit.

Surely that's not hard to grasp - their hearts are in the right place of course, but they will be transporting your child and it's up to them to check with you before they make these kinds of decisions.

We bought a car seat for my parents (IL's don't drive), we fit it, check it, and they would never even think of buying another one, let alone without checking with us first. Our child, our responsibility!

newnamefornewyearbookwormmum · 02/01/2008 20:52

They sound like caring gp's to me. Why not help htem to fit the carseat next time so you know it fits properly. They may not be very confident with car seats for babies - I bet your DF wasn't in a car seat when he was a baby.

WingsofanAngel · 02/01/2008 21:03

I assume that when they have ds in the car either you or DF is there to hand him over,perhaps you or DF could check the seat for them. Not everyone is confident in these matters even if you do read the instructions.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 02/01/2008 21:21

Why can't they just use the maxi cosi? If the Fisher price isn't good why let them use it? Fingers crossed it will be okay????

susiecutiemincepies · 02/01/2008 21:24

Bimey Cuatardo, thats a bit harsh!

I understand your concerns Bex, but i do think YABU... after all, its their money.

They can, and will, do what they want with it. After all, the bottom line is, they are trying to do the right thing for your DC arent they?

Just let it go, and dont waste your energy on getting annoyed about this one. Make sure its fitted properly, give them MORE lessons and move on from it.

I'm sure there are far more worthy things you could and probably will, get miffed about in the future

Original poster

BexieID · 03/01/2008 00:03

Well, the people i've been speaking to on the Products section say that the Fisher Price car seat is the not so good and rebadged Britax Trio, which fails miserably in the Which tests. I seem to remember telling them all this when we got the Maxi-Cosi in the first place. I won't be seeing them till friday, so there maybe a possibility that they sent it back.

My concern is the safety of the seat. Theres no side-impact protection. Maybe i'll just have to plea my case to them and just say that i'm not happy with Tom being in it.

OP posts:

ladymariner · 03/01/2008 00:16

You have no idea how lucky you are, having in-laws who give a toss in the first place.Open your eyes......

ladymariner · 03/01/2008 00:21

That could well be a little harsh, in retrospect. I do see where you're coming from but I also think that they are doing ot for all the right reasons. Like some of the others have said, could you not just spend a little time with them and show them how to do it?

MAMAZONtopofKILTbeingrude · 03/01/2008 00:28

pmsl @custy.

said in your usual tactfull and lighthearted manner.

but i have to agree im afraid.

louloulouise · 03/01/2008 09:42

Why is the OP being unreasonable for taking an interest in her childs safety??!!

Yes it's the GP's money, but IMO it's not up to them to choose a car seat for their GC - it's up to the parents, the IL's shouldn't be buying random car seats just because they feel like it FGS!

inthegutter · 03/01/2008 10:39

Am I the only one here who's a little confused.... why do they need to buy a car seat anyway? This is your child isnt it? Why not buy the equipment you want for your child if you are so specific about what's acceptable? I don't think custy's being harsh at all - no car seat would be marketed without having met stringent safety standards. Sounds like this is all a bit precious to me.

Original poster

BexieID · 03/01/2008 11:37

Ok, would you want your child in a car seat that fails a 40mph crash test? Thats what the people at Which do. The Fisher Price car seat made it into the section of car seats that they postively didnt recommend (ie car setas to AVOID) as simply didnt proved enough protection in a crash. The standard basic test for the UK is a 30mph one, with no side impact test, which it passed. EU regs are crap and even seats that will kill the child in a crash still pass.

They decided to get another as the Maxi-Cosi was too loose, which DF said wasn't correctly installed. The last time I put Tom in their car, a couple of weeks ago, it was fine. But the seat had been moved to the other side of the car this time.

Who is to say that the new seat will not be loose either? It's not like they've gone to Halfords to get it fitted or anything!

Some of you probably think we are very ungratefull, i'm honestly not, but my reaction is not unfounded. I DO NOT want my son in a car seat I know to be unsafe.

OP posts:

hercules1 · 03/01/2008 11:39

So why don't you simply spend 5 minutes showing them how to fit it properly?

Original poster

BexieID · 03/01/2008 12:03

DF has done. More than once.

OP posts:

hercules1 · 03/01/2008 12:05

Perhaps they need to be shown again. My sister despite me showing her how to do her maxi seat several times still has no idea and I still have to do it for her.

moljam · 03/01/2008 12:09

i wish someone would buy my ds carseat.

lazarou · 03/01/2008 12:15

Bexie, you are just going to have to tell them that you're not happy with them using that carseat because you don't think it is safe enough. Then just say the originial one was fine, it just need putting in properly.
If your df can't explain this without having a hissy fit then you will have to tell them.
If they tell you where to go then it's up to you whether your ds goes in their car again.

lazarou · 03/01/2008 12:20

hang on i've found a couple of reviews for the fuisher price one

www.ciao.co.uk/Reviews/Fisher_Price_Safe_Voyage_3_Stage_Booster_Seat_1_2_3__6513245

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