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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at the in-laws for buying another car seat when the one thay have is perfectly fine?

49 replies

BexieID · 02/01/2008 11:51

The in-laws have just ordered a Fisher-Price Safe Voyage 3 Stage Booster Seat because the Maxi-cosi xp was loose in their car! DF had a right mega at them and told them it wasn't in right and why didn't they look at the instructions before buying another car seat.

I remember someone saying that the Fisher Price ones were one of the worst car seats you can buy so i'm really panicking now. The new car seat probably won't get sent back as DF says his parents never take anything back, but I don't want Tom going in it if they aren't any good, IYKWIM.

Please tell me i'm overeacting!

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/01/2008 11:53

if your concerns are about the safety of the seat, then YANBU, but otherwise it is their money and their choice

DF had a right mega at them? you mean he bollocked them... i thikn that was a bit ungracious, they clearly wanted to try to do the right thing by their grandchild and bought a seat they thought was better

lazarou · 02/01/2008 11:53

Did your df put the maxi cosi in properly for them then? If you offer to put it in for them and take the other seat back, that's fair enoguh, surely?

glaskham · 02/01/2008 12:03

yeah, if they cant take the new seat back get them to sell it on ebay or something...and fit the maxi cosi in for them....maxi cosi seats are some of the best you can buy- we spent £240 in sept on one each for our 2 dc's...and ds will be out of his within 6mths....but we still think its well worth the money!!

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:05

We've got a maxi cosi. They are very easy to put in.

hercules1 · 02/01/2008 12:05

WHy dont you go with them to a large mother care or the like and get it fitted properly. Sorry I do think yabu. They are trying to do the best for you all and your dp had 'a right mega' at them...

Original poster
BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:10

They only got the new one because they thougt the Maxi-Cosi didn't fit properly, even though they've been using it since last April! My dad managed to fit our one in his car ok by reading the instructions! FIL is an engineer as well, you'd think he'd manage a car seat ok? But what happens if the new one is loose? They going to buy another one?

OP posts:
hercules1 · 02/01/2008 12:12

WHen my mum got a seat for her car we went with her and made sure it was fitted by halfords to ensure it was appropriate for her car. If it needs to be redone we do it for her. It doesnt really seem fair to hold them wholly responsible when they are doing you favours and they are unsure of how to fit the seat.

glaskham · 02/01/2008 12:12

do they not still have the maxi cosi?,....cant they just fit that back in?...where did they buy the new one from? if it was anywhere decent they'd have fitted it for them!!

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:13

Surely it's on;y loose because the tensioner thingy (very technical me) needs adjusting or the seat belt hasnt been pulled through tight enough before they locked everything in place. They do sometimes get a bit loose so they need putting back in every now and then.

dooley1 · 02/01/2008 12:15

I don't get why you are so annoyed
it's their money not yours
think yourself lucky they take your dcs places

TsarChasm · 02/01/2008 12:16

I think you are being a little hard on them. At least they are trying to get it right.

Maybe they need a bit of help from you in fitting their car seats correctly. Car seats aren't exactly the easiest thing to cope with even for engineers. My dad is another case in point.

I got the distinct impression from my inlaws that our insistence on car seats was all a bit of a faff that they went along with to indulge me. They even aquired a battered old second hand one which was utterly useless.

Original poster
BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:17

DF reacted like that because if they can't get something to work, they buy another, even if the orginal is perfectly fine. He's moaned at me a few times, lol. FIL has to take the seat out when he goes and plays golf and Tom doesn't really go in the car that much.

I guess i'm overeacting and they are lovely well meaning people. Their hearts are in the right place.

BUT, i'm still annoyed!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 02/01/2008 12:18

Sorry, dont get why you are annoyed . Why don't you simply spend a few minutes showing them how to fix it .

TsarChasm · 02/01/2008 12:20

I will go on Dragons Den one day with a new design for an easy to use/clean/do up/transferable car seat that even grandparents can use. I will make millions

If anything is begging to be re-designed, it's childrens car seats. I hated ours. We bought good ones, but they were torturous to use and keep clean.

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:21

I guess you had to be there, hey Bex?

VictorianSqualor · 02/01/2008 12:21

My XBIL and his wife bought the same car seat we had for DS for their DD. Theythen bought another one for £250 because they had decided the one that we both had was unsafe, because DD wriggled in it (i.e it wasn't in correctly).

I think they're bloody stupid wasting their money, but it's their money and none of my business TBH.

I did get a bit annoyed with the 'it's not safe' line they used when I am still using it for DS and it IMO is perfectly safe, but I think that was just an excuse cos they couldn't get the hang of it.

LIZS · 02/01/2008 12:22

Their money to spend but yanbu to ask that they spend it on a good seat rather than an indifferent one if within budget. The FP ones are rebadged discontinued Britax models. Some (one was the Freeway Excel) are ok but that one was the Trio whcih did indeed get slated by Which ? MC much better seat if it is fitted correctly however if it won't fit there probably wouldn't be much benefit safety wise. How old/heavy is your ds ?

btw if they were my inlaws it would be a basic crap Mothercare one, loosely "fitted", or nowt.

Original poster
BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:22

To quote TsarChasm: I got the distinct impression from my inlaws that our insistence on car seats was all a bit of a faff that they went along with to indulge me.

Sounds familar as they didn't have car seats back when DF was little and Tom has been in the car without being in a car seat before.

DF said they had the sealtbelt wrapped around where it shouldn't have been. He's showed them many a time. My dad got it right though, and he's only did it the once!

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 02/01/2008 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazarou · 02/01/2008 12:23

So we've concluded it's a generation thing really, yes?

Original poster
BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:27

Tom is 20 months.

It is their money but they just spent loads on us for xmas and keep going on about getting their garage roof fixed as well.

They ordered it on-line and it's being delivered today, so they have not tried it in their car first.

OP posts:
Original poster
BexieID · 02/01/2008 12:31

Ok, we got the Maxi-Cosi for them. Thats why i'm annoyed. Lets hope they can fix the new one in ok. I've asked for the Maxi-Cosi back as I know it'll end up in the skip they are hiring soon.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 02/01/2008 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hercules1 · 02/01/2008 12:35

Sorry still dont see why this would be annoying. They sound lovely and want to do the best by you all. Not fair to compare your dad's skills with theirs.

WHy did he go in their car previously with no car seat?

lulumama · 02/01/2008 12:38

I'd be a hell of a lot more pissed of if my child had been taken in their car regularly with no car seat..

sorry, i don;t thikn you are right to be annoyed, nor should you care what they spend their money on, nor compare your father with FIL

are there deeper ishooos here?

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