Mother in law p*^%#ng me off

[Supernoodle67]

Am I in the wrong for biting back on a Facebook post. It’s my ds first birthday in a few days my mil decided without being invited to bring herself and my dh older daughter with another woman to stay with us for 9 days. She has made it very clear it’s so sd can see her dad as she thinks she is left out. Just posted on face book she is bringing granddaughter to see her dad, no mention of her grandson or the fact it’s his birthday. Really peed me off she only cares about the granddaughter and not her grandson. Feels like she is overshadowing his birthday on purpose.

Did MIL think she had cleared this with your DH, and maybe he agreed this without considering your wishes? Otherwise she is being unreasonable.

The way you describe your DH's daughter in you OP does make you sound also unreasonable, not to say that justifies MIL's actions. Though I feel sorry for the DSD being in the middle of this.

This is unacceptable and no way would anyone be inviting themselves to stay for 9 days. I would not be having that at all as you will be the one having to deal with it all. Does your husband see his daughter regularly and if not then try to get something in place as it seems like she needs her dad in her life but you do not need that mil inviting herself for 9 days. Can you husband not collect his daughter and just have her to stay for a few days. This needs to be discussed and changes made or else the 9 days will be hell.

I would phone MIL and tell you have plans and she can’t stay, however having your DH other Daughter over or stay is reasonable.

I really have a problem with uninvited guests who take people for granted.

@StoneofDestiny

How can anybody stay uninvited for 9 days if the home owners don't want them there?

Exactly what I was thinking. She might have invited herself, but if you don't open the door, what can she do?

You simply tell her that she can't come.

YABU to bicker with your MIL on Facebook yes.

Birthday sounds like a great time for your step child to come stay with their dad and baby sibling though, surely you’d have invited her anyway? It doesn’t overshadow anything for your DS as he’s a baby, so don’t let it get to you. If your OH doesn’t want his daughter or mother staying then he can tell them that.

Referring to your SD as “ dh older daughter with another woman” says a lot really imo

Just tell her no sorry, it's not convenient

Cringe. Please tell me you didnt do a reply on facebook?

You seem to feel threatened by your sd?

@Cherrysoup

Has she not asked if she can come? Who is the other woman? How often does he see his dd?

Out of principle, I would tell her she and the other woman can’t stay (but obviously dd can).

The 'other woman' is the woman Op's partner had a child with. She's not coming

She is in the wrong for not asking you about visiting.

I really wouldn’t. The way it looks, unless there is additional detail to your OP, is that the SD wasn’t invited to her brothers birthday! Anything you throw out is going to highlight this and make her look nice for including your child’s sister and you look like a bitch for excluding her. This will get messy.

I understand 9 days is an imposition for visitors but surely your son having his sister for 9 days is a good thing? How often does your son currently see his sister?

The only thing I would be pissed off about is if DH is not taking 9 days' holiday to entertain them.

I could have the wrong end of the stick here but sounds like your DH doesn’t see his daughter much and her gran wants it to be more equal rather than she doesn’t love your son too. It must hurt her and his daughter if he doesn’t make an effort.

No further info or updates then? Is that because you made it clear dsd wasn't welcome to visit her dad for 9 days over half term?
You haven't came across well here, I can see why you'd be annoyed at mil staying uninvited for 9 days, but surely dsd is always welcome?

So MIL is bringing half sister to your son's birthday? Do you not get on with them? How often does DP see his daughter?

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU for the fact that your MIL was uninvited to her grandchild's birthday!
However she is BU for bringing a stranger!

*Exactly what I was thinking. She might have invited herself, but if you don't open the door, what can she do?

You simply tell her that she can't come.*

I mean, you could do that but I doubt that the OP's DP would be too happy with his daughter and mother being refused entry to his home.

You really going to advice that someone leave a child out on their doorstep?

I would have assumed the MIL and DSD would be invited for the birthday anyways, but 9 days would be too much. I'd be on the phone to her instead of posting on fb saying that you can't accommodate them for 9 days.

Are you angry that your MIL is trying to facilitate your SD having a relationship with her father?

Why does your MIL have her for 9 whole days?

Poor girl.

Guys I think this is a bait post