What can I outsource?

[Merryoldgoat]

Ok. Brief background
DH, me and DS9 & DS4 at home (both children have ASD)
We both work in busy jobs, I’ve recently reduced hours to manage pick up/drop off better.

We have a cleaner.

We find ourselves burned out with all the ‘stuff’ - appointments, homework, laundry, cooking, shopping and meal planning, house needs decorating and maintenance etc - that we spend hardly any quality time together or with the boys.

What can we outsource or buy to claw back time?

By the weekend I’m exhausted and I hate that I have no time or energy to exercise or be a fun parent.

We’re no swimming in money but do have the ability to buy in more.

Food shopping online has been a game changer for me. I know it costs a few quid more than my previous way of using Aldo and Sainsburys, but it’s bought me almost a whole morning of time so well worth it for me

Aldi not Aldo!

-cleaning
-ironing (MIL uses a company that come pick up the clothes then drop them back off the next day. I'm sure there's probably ones that clean them too)

• tutor if kids struggling with any homework/subjects etc
• you can order meals from 'meal prep' type companies. Or batch cooking once/twice a month and freezing to take out as needed during the week works great at saving time.
• not outsourcing but a slow cooker is great for saving time on cooking too
• decorator/handyman for bits around the house

Online shop, meal plan. Prep and freeze (if posisble) or make more than normal and freeze extra portions for days you aren't able to cook. Ironing, outsource to someone who collects and drop off. Are you able to get any respite care for even a few hours a month? Or an after school club to give you a bit of time.

Cleaner and online shopping

We meal plan as a family over dinner one week. Who is going where on what night and therefore what meals can be made and eaten on those days.

After meals, nobody leaves the kitchen until everything is sorted out. Everyone can do something. When I first started this people used to say they needed to go to the toilet etc. so now I make everyone wait till the sloper-away-er gets back.

This is great - thank you.

Are those meal prep companies good? I was thinking about trying one but wasn’t sure.

Could definitely batch cook and meal plan better - maybe I’ll create a spreadsheet which will populate ingredients if I choose a meal to make the list easier.

I’m worried about sending out laundry - my knickers are really old 😳😳 I should just suck it up shouldn’t I?

Younger boy can’t do after school club - still non verbal and we’re just starting EHCP process so gearing up for that.

Could deffo look at slow cooker!

Handyman - do they do anything? Like, could I get one for, say, a week and give him a list of stuff?

Luckily I now have a day off a week which I’m hoping will allow me to decompress.

PIL help with the boys which is invaluable

Thank you for all the ideas ❤️

If you can afford it get a nanny/housekeeper (part time) or a mother's help. They will cover most of those things (not decorating though).

What causes you the most stress? My parents found homework with my ASD brother very stressful and got a tutor 3 evenings a week. It made the world of difference to them personally and to their relationship with my brother.

Have you tried something like Hello Fresh? I did it for a cheap trial and it did help not to have to think up meals. If you had the money and got on with it you could continue it past the trial period.

What about a monthly massage/ 1:1 yoga class for yourself. I know you mention you’re really busy and it may seem counterintuitive to take this time out but you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you have just a little bit of time for yourself, it may actually give you more energy to do things.

Best of luck with the EHCP process. 💐

@NuffSaidSam

If you can afford it get a nanny/housekeeper (part time) or a mother's help. They will cover most of those things (not decorating though).

We tried an after school nanny but it didn’t work for a variety of reasons but I will revisit that when we know what setting will suit the little one (suspect he’ll need a specialist school).

What would a housekeeper do? I have a cleaner who I love - i could up her hours - maybe she’d do laundry and change bed linen? Towels etc?

I have a cleaner/housekeeper twice a week, and she cleans (obv), changes the beds, puts the sheets onto wash, irons, folds laundry, pairs socks, puts clean towels/sheets away, sorts kitchen cupboards, does dishwasher while shes there, and really anything else she sees that needs doing. It makes a huge difference in our lives. She would also put away a food shop if it came while she was working.
Decorating - we get someone in. They've just done the hall/stairs/landing and we've booked them to do a couple of bedrooms later when they can fit us in.

• Cleaner
• Online food shopping
• Tidy as you go (so before you go to bed, make sure the living room has been cleared of any snacks, the sofa cushions are plumped - whatever you do to make the room ready for the next day. Should be no more than 5 mins).
• Multi-task - empty dishwasher or put on washing while waiting for

kettle to boil

• Homework - minimise. At 4 & 9, it should be fairly minimal. Reading as part of bedtime routine. Anything else, assign for weekend, and decide on a time it gets done at the same time each week (so say 10am on a Saturday morning to clear the rest of the weekend).
• Family timetable of the week ahead in prominent position (I've got a small magnetic whiteboard on my fridge, with a column for each of us, and a colour coded pen for each of us. I write everything that we're doing for the week, so EVERYONE knows, and it's not your complete responsibility).
• I have another small white board in the kitchen - at the tope I jot down a shopping list, at the bottom is the week's meal plan. Helps with shopping and cooking.
• Gousto or similar to take some of the thought out of meal planning. You could get 9YO involved and they can do some of the prep/cooking.
• Pay for decorators/maintenance, or carve out time specifically (eg, the weekend of xx we will paint the bathroom, or whatever).

If you're also struggling with completing your work in your working days, it would be worth a discussion with your line manager on ways the company can help - working from home for some of the time perhaps if possible? Or flexible working?

@Orchidflower1

I am moving to a 0.7 fte over 4 days soon and that day a week I’m devoting to me - hobby, massage etc - it’s been so long since I didn’t have to shoehorn stuff like that in.

@FlossMoss

We meal plan as a family over dinner one week. Who is going where on what night and therefore what meals can be made and eaten on those days.

After meals, nobody leaves the kitchen until everything is sorted out. Everyone can do something. When I first started this people used to say they needed to go to the toilet etc. so now I make everyone wait till the sloper-away-er gets back.

Great idea! I too have a sloped -off person.

@EmmaStone

That’s a fantastic list! Thank you!

Laundry and ironing are good ones.

If you decorate then it might be easier to hire people in and, if feasible, time it with a 2 week holiday. So the builders get it all done while you’re out.

A tutor to handle the homework if feasible. This has been a gamechanger for my cousin.

Buy more frozen veg - frozen mixed veg, frozen peppers, onions, garlic, whatever you can find to reduce prep time. Tinned food too - it’s just so easy to saute a few frozen onions, add a few cans of tinned or frozen veg / passata, and create a meal.

Or if you don’t want to sacrifice on food quality then buy an instant pot. I get rice in 4 mins. Chilli in 20. Managed to roast a whole chicken for four in 30mins.

*We tried an after school nanny but it didn’t work for a variety of reasons but I will revisit that when we know what setting will suit the little one (suspect he’ll need a specialist school).

What would a housekeeper do? I have a cleaner who I love - i could up her hours - maybe she’d do laundry and change bed linen? Towels etc?*

After-school nanny is quite different to a nanny/housekeeper.

A nanny/housekeeper would:

Change beds
Do laundry
Tidy children's rooms/communal areas
Plan and shop for family meals
Cook and prep meals
Deal with all child admin
Run errands
Deal with some household admin
Pick children up from school
Do homework with them

A local launderette probably does a collection, service wash and dry plus folding and ironing as required type service.

For handy people, different ones have different skills so you'd need to find local ones - local Facebook groups are good for recommendations for this kind of thing and ask what they can do, what they charge, availability. Most have a first hour rate which is higher to cover travel costs with subsequent hours at a lower rate so it makes sense to group jobs together.

For meal planning online shopping is great. I buy a lot of frozen veg as there's no prep and little waste. Yes to batch cooking and freezing a handful of basic recipes like a Bolognese you can add spices, beans, etc to to convert it to chilli. You can buy good quality ready prepared meals or meal components from supermarkets, Cook, etc.

Get a cleaner - using an agency is usually more expensive but they get you cover if someone is off sick or on holiday.

Use a gardening service for mowing grass, sweeping leaves, general tidying, etc.

Up your cleaner's hours and get her to do more - she could change beds, do laundry, fold and put away, iron, be there for online shopping deliveries and put things away. And probably loads more!

The other thing is to simplify the meal planning. I know I use it to be quite ambitious and to ring the changes of what we eat, but you don't have to do it like that! Getting a rotation of 14 meals going takes all the thinking time out of cooking and really simplifies your life.

So you might say:

Monday is always a pasta with one of two sauces (tuna/veggie)
Tuesday is always tacos (fish/mince)
Wednesday is always a traybake (chicken thighs/salmon)
Thursday is always something saucy (curry/chilli)
Friday is always a takeout! (whatever you fancy, obvs)
Saturday is always a stew (beef/lamb)
Sunday is always a roast/bake (chicken/veggie)

You can still change flavours, herbs etc but having something like that in place means your shopping and cooking become things you don't even have to think about. And a lot of the above you can make double portions and freeze - I'm not fond of the phrase 'batch cooking' because it makes me think of someone doing a whole day in the kitchen once a week, which isn't what you want. But it's no trouble to cook double.

Laundrette even just for towels and bed linen.
Or these plus all the clothes you don't mind them seeing and that just leaves one load of laundry a week

Do you really need to be ironing so much? Consider getting a steamer and ditching the iron. Online shopping! Bulk buying! Batch cooking!

Have your quick go to dinners. Fresh pasta is great for this. Outsource your decorating and DIY! It'll take a professional half the time it will take you and it will be done well.

Get your cleaner to change beds and towels and put a wash on. Make sure you have a dish washer.

Learn to prioritise family time over things that can wait. Timetable it into your week.

Gousto (and hello fresh though we prefer Gousto) have been an absolute game changer for us. Means only a quick fresh shop required after work one night and no time meal planning which I detest!

Amazon prime for last minute gifts/school project bits

I also know that as the mother of an asd child routines are essential. We do homework after tea. Short amounts. Tables, spelling etc can be thrown in during bath times or walks, clear up time etc.