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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really not understand why DD doesn't like reading...

58 replies

firstchopanonion · 17/02/2022 11:38

DD is 8. She has always been in the top reading group at school, she taught herself to read while she was still at nursery. She loves books and loves being read to.

BUT she says she hates reading to herself. She did during lockdown, probably because she had so much time, but it has really tapered off now. She got given so many wonderful books for her recent birthday but she hasn't picked up a single one to read by herself (I will read them all to her, in time). Getting her to do her school reading is a huge chore, even though she can read all the books fluently.

Has anyone had a similar DC and is it just something I need to accept or is there a way for her to discover the joy of reading? I feel like she is missing out in a funny way - how lovely it is to get lost in a good book - but maybe that's just imposing my own thoughts/beliefs on her...

OP posts:
LumpenProletariat · 17/02/2022 11:40

Yes my daughter was similar but recently the school seem to have got her into books!!

Also I have a dyslexic sibling who hated books. My mother got said sibling to read anything at all - whatever they liked. Said sibling is now obsessed with books as an adult.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 17/02/2022 12:30

My DS (10) was a reluctant reader until recently. What finally worked for him was Harry Potter, because he's seen the films several times and he's just really enjoyed going through the books and reporting back to me in great detail all the similarities and differences 😬 When he finishes each one, we watch the film again and he talks me through all the differences (again...)

NuffSaidSam · 17/02/2022 12:33

Have you tried her with a range of different material? Non-fiction? Magazines? Something like The Week Kids maybe?

AlexaShutUp · 17/02/2022 12:33

I loved reading as a child but my dsis just wasn't interested. She was every bit as good at it as I was, but just didn't enjoy it.

It didn't hold her back in any way at all, so I think you should probably just accept that she isn't into it right now. That may or may not change as she gets older, discovers new books etc.

VanCleefArpels · 17/02/2022 12:34

My 2 now grown up kids never enjoyed reading for“fun” - it broke my heart as I was and still am a bit of a bookworm. It is what it is. In fact they both read a lot but it was in the form of magazines and song lyrics and play scripts and lots and lots of social media posts (!). Both went to university, still neither have ever voluntarily picked up a novel!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/02/2022 12:37

Both my kids read to themselves in bed after we've read to them. They aren't allowed their devices in bed, so this is a way they can spend time if they aren't ready for sleep yet.

Dc1 is 10 and we don't even have a "go to sleep" time - she is in her room from 8, we read to her for 20, 30mins, then she can read as long as she likes til she falls asleep.

Dc2 is 7 and he likes reading but his books are way way simpler than his sisters so he will read an easy one to himself then go to sleep.

Having reading in bed as a "treat" to not have to go to sleep seems to work.

Neither of them read downstairs during the day (which I used to do lots!!), but then there are others things to do in the day which didn't exist when I was a child

BlankTimes · 17/02/2022 12:37

Can you make it fun for her, would she be interested in something like reading it aloud and recording herself doing that, making the characters have different voices and vocal expressions or maybe different accents.

caulkheaded · 17/02/2022 12:38

Maybe she associates reading with the pandemic

blackdumpling · 17/02/2022 12:38

Remove the Tablet & cut back on TV time
That will help her learn to love reading
Agree with a PP that the book versions of her favourite movies may help

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/02/2022 12:40

@blackdumpling

Remove the Tablet & cut back on TV time That will help her learn to love reading Agree with a PP that the book versions of her favourite movies may help
The OP hasn't mentioned if her dd has a tablet or watches TV.
MostIneptThatEverStepped · 17/02/2022 12:44

Mine were all like this to a degree, which was quite hard for me to understand. Where I lived growing up there was literally nothing to do so my siblings and I read non stop.

It's really different for kids now, there are so many other distractions.

However...as adults now they are all readers! Maybe not as voracious as me but that's ok.

YesItsMeIDontCare · 17/02/2022 12:46

My DS was the same, still is tbh

Turns out he has Aphantasia, so a book is just words. He gets no imagery or emotions from them.

It also means Cards Against Humanity is a bit lost on him 😁

Original poster
firstchopanonion · 17/02/2022 12:49

She doesn't have a tablet (none of us do). She watches a bit of TV but not much and certainly not on a daily basis. She loves drawing, crafts, playing with her toys, piano...she also spends a lot of time at her sport. I always offer her the chance to keep her light on and keep reading once I've read to her at bedtime but she doesn't go for it.. Maybe I do need to accept that reading just isn't her thing right now! Magazines etc are a good suggestion though as she doesn't ever seem to mind reading, say, directions for a board game.

I don't think it would be a problem if she associated reading with the pandemic; she enjoyed lockdown for the most part.

OP posts:
DoctorSnortles · 17/02/2022 12:54

What is she avoiding reading? She might be good at reading, but find it hard work, particularly if being encouraged to read more challenging texts as a 'good' reader. Can she pick something 'easy'? (Larger print, less text, off-white pages, more straightforward vocabulary?)

WinnieWaits · 17/02/2022 12:55

My one child likes audio books better. Another one was slow to read but reading to him and getting him books that were at his level and just the right subject material got him into the habit. I'd maybe read chapter 1 or more to get him started too. Taking him to the library to choose NEW authors just didn't work. Whereas I loved the library and rather random books as a kid.
For him I would buy books of the film and the book of the video game in one case😂.

britnay · 17/02/2022 12:56

You've mentioned books bought for her. Does she spend any time choosing her own books either at a bookshop or library? Maybe she needs to explore other genres?
Maybe fiction books that are related to her sport? If you mention what sport maybe someone could suggest a suitable author?

WinnieWaits · 17/02/2022 12:57

Oh and non fiction was popular.

Original poster
firstchopanonion · 17/02/2022 13:00

She really enjoys audiobooks.
@DoctorSnortles That's a good point, and may be part of the problem. The books that come home from school are pretty straightforward but the ones she has in her room at home, which she loves me reading to her, are probably either a bit tiring (Harry Potter etc) or a bit young (Isadora Moon etc).

OP posts:
CrackerGal · 17/02/2022 13:01

Yes, my daughter was an early advanced reader & went through this around 8 too. I ended up buying her lots of graphic novels which reeled her back into reading.
There are excellent graphic novels of the babysitters club for one, I've many many other suggestions if you're interested.
She probably only read graphic novels for about a year & now she's back into reading. She also likes factual age appropriate books now.

Madcats · 17/02/2022 13:01

I've been there with my now 14 year old.

She really enjoyed audiobooks (lots are available to order from our local library or to download online). They help to build vocabulary and I suspect that they aid comprehension (because of the narrator's voice/expressiveness).

The school seems to take the view that I should pick my battles.

I do have form for "accidentally" forgetting to confirm WiFi/phone strength when we go on holiday.

CrackerGal · 17/02/2022 13:02

Just to add, we took her to a comic book store & she actually picked out the babysitters club graphic novels herself.

Original poster
firstchopanonion · 17/02/2022 13:03

@britnay Bookshop not really, and that might be a good avenue. Library yes, but honestly the selection at our local library is not great. Very fairies and unicorns 'for girls' and football 'for boys'. Neither of which appeal to her at all!

Her sport is gymnastics.

OP posts:
Original poster
firstchopanonion · 17/02/2022 13:04

@CrackerGal Yes graphic novel suggestions would be great. She definitely wouldn't be into anything like superheroes, but babysitters club probably yes.

OP posts:
toastofthetown · 17/02/2022 13:05

As long as she has access to a variety of books, it’s her choice if she doesn’t want to read. As an adult I go through reading peaks and troughs. Just because she’s not into reading now, doesn’t mean she won’t start again as an adult (just as reading prolifically as a child doesn’t guarantee they’ll keep it up as they grow up). I’d just accept that about her for now and not make a big deal of it. Maybe she’ll come back to reading, maybe she won’t.

CrackerGal · 17/02/2022 13:06

[quote firstchopanonion]@CrackerGal Yes graphic novel suggestions would be great. She definitely wouldn't be into anything like superheroes, but babysitters club probably yes.[/quote]
My daughter sounds quite similar to yours I'll go grab a list for you! My daughter wouldn't be into superheroes either.