To take a 30% salary reduction to take a job I possibly would enjoy more?

[TheBigDilemma]

To avoid drip feeding, this is the situation.

1. I am divorced, I live of my income and nothing else

2. My current salary is not huge. After all my basic expenses (bills, mortgage and groceries), I have about £400 left over to be spent on eventualities (car maintenance, house repairs, clothes, vet fees, going out but it us mostly spent in unexpected but absolutely necessary expenses, and saving for the very odd visit to see my family abroad (every 2 years but it has been 4 from the last one)

3. I live well but frugally. After 15 years raising my son on my own (he is now in uni) . I’m used to stretch my money, I menu plan, I am very careful with my expenses, most of my clothes and what is in my house comes from charity shops.

4. I hate my current job, I spend the day copy pasting stuff from a system to spreadsheets and from spreadsheets to the system. I have no influence, no say but the team is nice, with exception of a woman who is a bully but I am told I need to put up with because she has had mental health problems for several years. I am upset at least 3 times a week, I am at the verge of tears at least once a week.

5. I have been supporting or providing cover for people with mental health issues for at least 8 years. This has doubled the amount of work I do but not my salary, it also has involved putting up with plenty of abuse from the people I am supposed to be helping as I do not complete the tasks EXACTLY as they want despite not being properly trained for the job as the absences come always at the last minute and on peak season. There is no gratitude for my long hours (and leaving DS to be raised by the iPad) I normally get shouted about, accused of trying to steal their jobs and some other shit that I am told I need to put up with as they have mental health issues. The stress has been such I have ended having a breakdown myself a couple of years ago. For the record, when I was down… no cover was organised for me as my boss thought I was sooo efficient I would be able to catch up with the job myself on my return. I didn’t, I’m still feeling very broken, frail and resentful.

6. I have put up with this job because, it is safe, paid better than other jobs, and most importantly, was flexible enough to allow me to run to pick up DS from school when he was I’ll and make up for any lost time working from home at night, etc.

7. I am highly qualified, I have years of management experience, I am very creative and good at optimising processes, I get along with the people I manage and love to be in a position of responsibility. I have not done any proper management for a good few years, mostly due to my divorce… in a nutshell, I couldn’t commute as the afterschool club hours didn’t allow for me to drop off and pick up within the opening hours, so it made sense to take this other local job as I could be there for my son, who has no contact with his dad, and also because much of the extra amount I would get for these jobs was going to be spent in train fares.

8. the new job I have been offered involves quite a bit of management, working independently and coordinating a nice small team. I would love to do it, pays more or less the same as my current job despite the extra responsibility BUT it is part time, which would be great after so much stress but hence the 30% reduction of salary.

I have spent my life putting my son’s needs and financial security first. He is now at uni and so far coping fine with student loans. AIBU for ditching my safe job for this part time one that could provide more satisfaction but leave me with no money to deal with unexpected expenses?by his also means I will not be able to afford visiting my parents at all anymore (they are old and at an expensive longhaul flight away)

I need to make a decision by Monday.

100% do it. You can do something else in the free time to make up the extra. Bar shifts, cleaning, retail zero hours contracts, dog walking, babysitting. This isn't just about money. You spend a large part of your waking hours at work. It shouldn't be relentlessly miserable. Do it.

How pt is the new job ?
I'd be very reluctant to leave a job for one that pays less, unless it was a stop gap to something else, but your existing job does sound awful.

Oh and well done on getting your son to. Uni. Never mind the mum guilt about Ipads.. My version is YouTube but needs must.

Oh yes @ChiselandBits getting another pt job is a great idea.

Do it! Your current job makes your life miserable.

There may be opportunity to increase your hours in the future or you could use all the extra time you will have to start applying for other jobs.

Someone told me that the first job you jump to after a long-ish stint at a company won’t be your landing place

See it is a good interim, brush up your skills, do another PT job or just get yourself in a better mindset then stretch for the next role

Go for it!

The new job is only 3 days a week but spread over 4, it requires working evenings on some days and mornings on some others, so there would not be much time to fit a second job.

There is not much scope from promotion as it appears to be the kind of nice place that people never leave.

And all the new horrible rises coming in April, I think until you know exactly what the state of play will be,I would seriously have a reality check with myself

Can you downsize your house to free up some cash or take a lodger in? Your job sounds horrible, can you not move up another nicer job that pays the same?

I’d do it but definitely try to get another job around it, just so you know you won’t really struggle. If you can afford it though just go for it. My DH is about to do something similar. But I work full time so can cover the essentials. Life is too short to be miserable. Just do your sums first to make sure you’ll be able to manage

@ChiselandBits

Oh and well done on getting your son to. Uni. Never mind the mum guilt about Ipads.. My version is YouTube but needs must.

Believe me, it is a fecking miracle he is doing so well given the circumstances.

In a way I am wondering if this is the time I should stop playing safe and put myself first

… but then I need a new boiler, my phone is in its last leg and… it breaks my heart not to see my parents again or not being able to pay for her fees if DDog needs it and the insurance doesn’t cover.

I don't know how to put this - so please take it as well meant - but I'd worry that some of the stresses would follow you to the new job and you might end up in the same situation with less pay and more erratic hours. You say it's a nice team, but it's very hard to know until you start working there.

Currently you're not management so surely you have the right to say no to extra ( unpaid ?) hours. As for the difficult person, how will you cope if you become the manager of a difficult person? Did you get any counselling or CBT after your breakdown?

I'm not saying don't go for the new job, but you need to be honest with yourself. Also is there any scope for negotiation on the salary- sounds like it has erratic hours and wouldn't be a good fit for many people and the job market is pretty buoyant at the minute.

@mogsrus

And all the new horrible rises coming in April, I think until you know exactly what the state of play will be,I would seriously have a reality check with myself

My energy company went bust last year so I am already paying twice what I did (despite now keeping the central heating off for most of the day).

I need to check about this with my energy company, they said my current amount was now fixed at twice as much but my payments are still varying each month. If they go again in April (just fixed them in December)… that would leave me living hand to mouth.

Neither job sounds ideal. I would look for something else.

I think I'd wait for something else. Spreading 22 hours over 4 long days including evenings would make you feel like you're working almost full time anyway.
I think your budget is tight with the upcoming price increases to food and fuel.
Can you keep looking for something else?

@rookiemere

I don't know how to put this - so please take it as well meant - but I'd worry that some of the stresses would follow you to the new job and you might end up in the same situation with less pay and more erratic hours. You say it's a nice team, but it's very hard to know until you start working there.

Currently you're not management so surely you have the right to say no to extra ( unpaid ?) hours. As for the difficult person, how will you cope if you become the manager of a difficult person? Did you get any counselling or CBT after your breakdown?

I'm not saying don't go for the new job, but you need to be honest with yourself. Also is there any scope for negotiation on the salary- sounds like it has erratic hours and wouldn't be a good fit for many people and the job market is pretty buoyant at the minute.

I have managed to negotiate the new salary to be at the top of the grade so that’s as much as they can do.

With regards of taking the issues with me, yes, it is a big possibility as I am very sensitive after so many kicks.

I am attending counselling at the moment as I recognise the issue but only have one session left.

There have been quite a few re structures at work so I have worked with 3 teams on the space of 5 years. I am feeling totally disenchanted with my place of work as I think is piss management to put people through so much stress 1 out of 6 people are down with stress at any given time (with the rest of us getting the extra jobs and additional stress until the next one breaks down…).

If someone is not well enough to work without abusing their co workers, they should be at home and extra cover hired. Instead, we are expected to pick up the pieces and put up with it because they are ill (I am happy and understanding to put up with stuff like this if it was a rare occasion, but it is ALL the time).

Look for a new job but don’t take any kind of pay it, especially not one that substantial. If you already don’t have much spare each month it will make life so much harder. Keep looking!

Can you keep looking for something else?

I have been looking for years 😕

Problem is, my nasty job has its problems but no employer pays as well locally.

And no, I don’t want to move. I have a nice house I am paying peanuts for so downsizing or moving elsewhere would be more expensive than staying put.

I’d say do the math - how much does that give you to bring home after taxes and is that amount sufficient? Secondly is there any job you can take for one day a week that would help to fill that 30%?

Personally I am all for quality of life. I took a job that pays 25% less for similar hours last year. The previous corporate I was in was incredible toxic/ aggressive/ lots of politics and the issue was the CEO had set that tone/ culture. I was exhausted, miserable, stressed, it impacted every part of my life. Every Sunday I had a ball of stress in my stomach. It was awful for my health.

My new job is everything I hoped it would be. It’s a much smaller company, fantastic culture. Tons of space to innovate and a very inclusive and collaborative culture. My mental health is amazing, I’m sleeping better, I have more energy.

When I was at my previous company I remember thinking that the job would cause me to break down/ burnout / get seriously unwell. When I left I was exhausted for MONTHS! And that’s when I realised the true toll that job had taken on me.

But I had done my sums and I could afford the cut. There is an unquantifiable sum that comes from amazing mental health, but there is also the cold hard reality of can you pay the bills with a 30% cut? Or figure out an interim like extra job etc.

I’d personally say move, life is far too short and based on my experience? I don’t regret making the move one bit.

Be realistic - you cannot stretch your money to cope with a 30pc cut without living a pretty miserable life.

So jump if you need to, but treat the new job as a breathing space to look for a new one that actually uses your management experience.

While you are living with the paycut, make plans to close the gap, with a lodger in your son’s old room and/or a PT job. But leave space for job hunting

Take it, and think hard about what you can do in the free hours to earn extra money - what field are you in and do you know of any freelance potential that would use your experience and be flexible?

I'd also be a bit nervous of a 22 hr a week management role. Management- as you know - can be time consuming, and you might end up working 4 full days 28/30 hrs and only being paid for 22.

Don’t do it. Is there a reason you only have two options - this job and the new 30% less salary job? Have you been job hunting? If you are in the UK it is an employees market right now so you should be able to find something that you enjoy more than your current role, with career progression, that pays the same or better.

I know you are stressed right now so part time is appealing, but in the right role, full time doesn’t have to be stressful - especially with the new WFH normal, you really can work full time but it not be stressful, with the lack of commute and ability to manage your own hours in a flexible way.

Have you nearly paid mortgage off?

I don't think £400/month is much for extras tbh. I presume you would have even less. You probably need to find a way to make a bit extra. You will have Fri/Sat/Sun to do so & so it's possible you could do something.

Your current job sounds awful though & I think for your wellbeing a move might at least get you out of there. You may be entitled to working tax credits?