To take a 30% salary reduction to take a job I possibly would enjoy more?

[TheBigDilemma]

To avoid drip feeding, this is the situation.

1. I am divorced, I live of my income and nothing else

2. My current salary is not huge. After all my basic expenses (bills, mortgage and groceries), I have about £400 left over to be spent on eventualities (car maintenance, house repairs, clothes, vet fees, going out but it us mostly spent in unexpected but absolutely necessary expenses, and saving for the very odd visit to see my family abroad (every 2 years but it has been 4 from the last one)

3. I live well but frugally. After 15 years raising my son on my own (he is now in uni) . I’m used to stretch my money, I menu plan, I am very careful with my expenses, most of my clothes and what is in my house comes from charity shops.

4. I hate my current job, I spend the day copy pasting stuff from a system to spreadsheets and from spreadsheets to the system. I have no influence, no say but the team is nice, with exception of a woman who is a bully but I am told I need to put up with because she has had mental health problems for several years. I am upset at least 3 times a week, I am at the verge of tears at least once a week.

5. I have been supporting or providing cover for people with mental health issues for at least 8 years. This has doubled the amount of work I do but not my salary, it also has involved putting up with plenty of abuse from the people I am supposed to be helping as I do not complete the tasks EXACTLY as they want despite not being properly trained for the job as the absences come always at the last minute and on peak season. There is no gratitude for my long hours (and leaving DS to be raised by the iPad) I normally get shouted about, accused of trying to steal their jobs and some other shit that I am told I need to put up with as they have mental health issues. The stress has been such I have ended having a breakdown myself a couple of years ago. For the record, when I was down… no cover was organised for me as my boss thought I was sooo efficient I would be able to catch up with the job myself on my return. I didn’t, I’m still feeling very broken, frail and resentful.

6. I have put up with this job because, it is safe, paid better than other jobs, and most importantly, was flexible enough to allow me to run to pick up DS from school when he was I’ll and make up for any lost time working from home at night, etc.

7. I am highly qualified, I have years of management experience, I am very creative and good at optimising processes, I get along with the people I manage and love to be in a position of responsibility. I have not done any proper management for a good few years, mostly due to my divorce… in a nutshell, I couldn’t commute as the afterschool club hours didn’t allow for me to drop off and pick up within the opening hours, so it made sense to take this other local job as I could be there for my son, who has no contact with his dad, and also because much of the extra amount I would get for these jobs was going to be spent in train fares.

8. the new job I have been offered involves quite a bit of management, working independently and coordinating a nice small team. I would love to do it, pays more or less the same as my current job despite the extra responsibility BUT it is part time, which would be great after so much stress but hence the 30% reduction of salary.

I have spent my life putting my son’s needs and financial security first. He is now at uni and so far coping fine with student loans. AIBU for ditching my safe job for this part time one that could provide more satisfaction but leave me with no money to deal with unexpected expenses?by his also means I will not be able to afford visiting my parents at all anymore (they are old and at an expensive longhaul flight away)

I need to make a decision by Monday.

@notanothertakeaway

The value of your house is quite a big drip feed. I think that gives you options

Er yes, it is.

Figure out what you could get a decent place on, and go see a financial advisor re investing the rest. And get a PT job to make up a bit of the shortfall.

OP. You have significant options. Take the job. Downsize. Invest.

Bingo, there we go then. Take the job and put the house on the market. In the meantime, free up some spending money by paying the mortgage interest only.

You will feel so much better leaving that awful job behind. And as for moving house, they say a change is as good as a rest and it might lift your spirits a bit after the 15 years of hard grind and self-sacrifice. Something new to think about, a change of scene.

And then once you've been at the new job a year, you'll be in a better position to get a better-paid job if you want one. It sounds like DS being at uni means you're not restricted to the same narrow geographical area, right?

Very best of luck. You deserve a nice change.

Sell the house & get a 2 bed decent sized flat & pay off mortgage. Then you have security of your home.

Thank you all, and sorry for not coming back yesterday, I was such a mess with the dilemma I ended up crying at work, I went straight to bed as soon as I got home.

Have talked to my manager and told her about the new job, can’t sort the situation in full as she is not currently managing the bully but, she has offered to separate my job from bully completely until she has more control over the situation. She has also allocated more time for me to do more creative stuff (I’m good at improving and automating processes so that copy pasting business has not been easy).

Very timely, I got an email from Look After My Bills yesterday that included a calculator on how much energy fees will increase. By the sums of it I would be paying £300 a month in October so… that has blown the PT work plan out of the water.

I have been thinking a lot about selling the house but, as an investment, it is better to keep it than selling, especially with my very meagre pension. But the main thing that has kept me away from living mortgage free in a small flat is that the monthly maintenance ground costs of the flat would be higher than what I am paying in mortgage and every house move comes with a sizeable amount of repair expenses.

So about to start another day (and another meeting with the bully…)

Sounds promising with existing job.
If your meeting goes badly with unpleasant person I'd email what happened unemotionally to your manager. If she can stop
You working with this person sounds like that would reduce a lot of stress.

Think seriously about renting out a room. If you hate it you can stop but seems like a quick way to get some money.

You need to move jobs but the drop in income is a real issue. As someone who has family a long haul flight away I couldn't contemplate not seeing them (my parents have died now and I couldn't have not seen them regularly beforehand and even then it didn't feel enough).
Could you Airbnb your son's room to generate income and keep it free for him when he's home on holiday for uni?
Either that or keep hunting for another
better paid job. You sound very employable.

If you can live on the new salary, do it. The emotion I see reading between the lines of your post is that you really really want to do it, but feel like you need to give yourself permission. You do not need to give yourself permission to be better off. Do it, in the knowledge that it might not work out, but you're miserable anyway, so barring the pay cut, what do you have to lose?

I was going to say be careful you don't swap one stress for another, as a massive drop in income when cost of living is skyrocketing could be very stressful. But as the drop is due to PT hours, you really could do something else to earn a bit more. DS2 earns a surprising amount selling clothes on Vinted PT. Or you could get seasonal work.

It's probably worth taking the risk. The hours might increase too.

If your crying all the time in your present job there's no decision to make surely? Try the new job.

I would take the new job in a heartbeat and do a part time job on the side to make up any shortfall. Airbnb a spare room could be a good shout. Seasonal/Christmas work could be enough to ensure you get flights etc.

You won't be dreading work any more.
You will no longer have a long commute.
You'll get to walk your dog at lunch time.

You'll be saving money on your commute if you move?

Also, promises from your current boss that things will improve are worthless. I really wouldn't depend in that.

I think your quality of life could improve massively if you changed jobs.

Do it
When you say that your salary will be 30% less, have you looked at the net position?
because the first portion of your earnings are free of tax and national insurance, the net position may not be that different
monthly net on £30k is £2,005
monthly net on £21k is £1,495 - so only 25% reduction

that said, it does sound as if you're living quite frugally right now - are there other savings, such as reduced commuting costs?
listentotaxman.com/ to quickly check net income

plus all that cutting and pasting - can't you import from one system to another?

I’d do it. But I would look for something on the side for extra income. And it would be a short term thing.

Agree with PP that it’s an employees market right now. A few months ago I was looking to move from part time to full time. Stuck my CV on a couple of sites and got loads of calls. Had a contract role in just over a week which is likely to go permanent. Now is a good time to job hunt.

Its easy to say just do it but...just do it!

I took a fair hit when I moved from one job to another. I found the stress of the higher paid job just way too much hassle. I was paid for 9-5 but normally did 7am-10pm and got little thanks for it (public sector) so took a multi grand pay cut into a job that had similar demands but I wasn't working out of hours.

Its the best thing I did. I can actually get home and just "be" rather than walking in and my partner being annoyed I am late "again". At the same time this isn't easy if you are cutting it fine financially or if you haven't got a partner to rely on to bring in their own half of the income.

You ideally need to look at the pros of changing roles and the cons of doing so. Weigh up what life would look like with a pay cut (less to spend on things you enjoy, more stress at scraping by every month?) and also with one (less pressure in actual work, more time to yourself etc).

If you can get another job with a similar wage that would be the best option. That said, if you are on X amount of money the chances are any decrease in job pressure is likely to come with a pay cut. Its the reason most jobs pay what they do.

Good luck!