"He's always been on the 99th centile"

[StickerPlace]

I'm in a bad mood this morning. So I may we'll BU.

But I've seen this twice today. (Granted was on the same thread about child size)

But I feel like I've read/heard that comment so many times. But it can't be true?

Or are the 1% of parents with 99% children very keen to talk about that?

(FWIW just weighed/measured mine for new dance uniform as had a growth spurt and nothing fits and 11th centile.)

My 18 month old is taller than most of the kids in her toddler room (who are generally 18m - 3y).

The only time I mention this is when people comment that she’s heavy for her age. Yes, she is, because if she weighed the average amount for an 18mo she’d be worryingly underweight for her height.

It’s a family trend on my side, we tend to shoot up and then stop growing early. My dad was 5ft 9in by the age of 13, but then stopped growing, which disappointed everyone who’d predicted he was going to be tall as a result as ‘he’s so tall already!’.

Genetics are quirky.

Well because people don't judge you when your baby/ child is on the 2nd/ 25th/ 50th centile. You can count on one hand how many threads there are bout kids at the school gate being too skinny, compared to the mountain of them about overweight kids.

I have a daughter born just short of 10lb, followed over the top tracking line for both height and weight, and she's still there now at 2.5. she's just growing out of 3-4 clothes, normally height before weight. She eats broadly a similar amount and range to others at nursery/ childminders. But people on mumsnet make you feel like you are a bad parent for genetic build. They don't do the same for those whose kids are in size 12-18 nmonths clothes at 2.5 years.

Why is being on the 99th centile a conversation topic.. is it specifically the 99th? Also, is it a good thing to be on the 99th centile. Would that mean my under 3rd centile child is less adequate than those on the 99th?

I didn’t realise this was a thing to talk about but then they are only two, perhaps when they go to school I might find it crops up?

My 7 year old (not even 8 til the summer) wears a size 5 shoe (38 adult)

I've just had to buy him clothes from M&S which are age 12-13.

He was tiny born (6lb something) yet by the time he was 18months he just boomed.

Age 2 - 'Why is your child in a pram and not in school' BECAUSE HE'S 2.

Age 3 - 'Christ, he should have grown out of throwing tantrums by now' He's 3. Oh sorry, I thought he was about 7.

Age 7 - 'My god, you need to sort out his childish behaviour' Oh sorry, I thought he was in high school.

Both his height and weight have always been 99th plus percentile.

What do people want me to do about it??! Starve him so at least his weight isn't 99th percentile? Strap him down so he stops growing!

I worked with a lovely lady, of average build but who was referred to as the short-arse of the family. She was over 6'4" but everyone else in the house was taller.
Her poor mum must have had a nightmare finding school uniform for the kids - not sure how tall they were as teenagers, but one brother was close to 7 feet tall.

Possibly because people always comment on it. Ds1 was always very tall, he was 11 lb 2 at birth and really long. People always commented when they found out his age as a toddler

Ds2 and 3 were prem at 35 and 32 weeks and small for years and people commented on that.

People now comment on how tall ds3 is now he's nearly 11

I've posted about my second being on the 95th because I can't understand it. I'm 5ft, husband 5'8", both small framed people and first child struggled to get up to the 35th and age 4 is now back on the 9th. Where the monster came from I've no idea.

Her older sister also followed those ranges, being taller than everyone else in class, until year 8. She stopped growing, everyone else went up. She's now about 5 ft 3.

If you have a larger child they tend to look older, so you get used to explaining how your 4-year-old-looking child is only 2.5 but on the 99th centile (so please play gentle etc)

Over the years I have mentioned the fact the DS is 99th centile on a number of MN threads none of them have been to boast. They have been in relation to people assuming my child is much order than they are and the problems that brings, the difficulty of finding clothes that actually fit and to counter the oft claimed on MN 'fact' that all tall children are also overweight because they can only grow that tall because they are over fed.
I believe the statistics used to create the centiles are older data and that population does seem to be taller now so they could probably do with an overhaul but they won't be that radically different that that a 5' 8 year old would become average.

My 2.5 year old daughter always been above 95th centile & I mention it to people sometimes when they are surprised that she looks older / taller for her age. Never even crossed my mind people might take offence to me mentioning it!

Mine was always on the 50th
She is now 11 and looking like she will be a shortie like me.

The centile charts have definitely been updated since 2008 as my middle one when born was not considered 'small' JUST. But when I had my third child (2016) during my pregnancy I was initially placed high risk. One reason was because my middle child's size in 2016 was on the 'small' side on the centiles. There were other reasons that meant too many ticks.

@KnobJockey I’ve had my fair share of comments on how small my toddler is; they were a tiny baby and my DP is very thin build, I’m very short and of average build but they definitely take after him - Eats like a horse but doesn’t show it and people have asked before if they eat much/are fussy/straight up tell me they’re a ‘skinny thing’ 😵‍💫 - so I can totally see how that would grate on the other end of the spectrum too, being or taller or other build seems to get more attention than being of a smaller one. Personally I don’t know why anyone would feel the need to comment on the build of any child; it’s just setting them up for a lifetime of mental health issues surrounding their appearance.

This has made me not look forward to sending my kids to school, I hate the thought of having to listen to judgy comments are the school gate every day, or DC coming home with the “X said this to me today”

I think some people say it because they feel criticised about their child being bigger - as though they’ve done something wrong. They need to say “he’s always been” in case they’re accused of over feeding them / feeding unhealthily.

@Onlyforcake

The centile charts have definitely been updated since 2008 as my middle one when born was not considered 'small' JUST. But when I had my third child (2016) during my pregnancy I was initially placed high risk. One reason was because my middle child's size in 2016 was on the 'small' side on the centiles. There were other reasons that meant too many ticks.

I mentioned this earlier in the thread - growth charts are customised now, to take into consideration maternal height and weight.

@CoastalWave

My 7 year old (not even 8 til the summer) wears a size 5 shoe (38 adult)

I've just had to buy him clothes from M&S which are age 12-13.

He was tiny born (6lb something) yet by the time he was 18months he just boomed.

Age 2 - 'Why is your child in a pram and not in school' BECAUSE HE'S 2.

Age 3 - 'Christ, he should have grown out of throwing tantrums by now' He's 3. Oh sorry, I thought he was about 7.

Age 7 - 'My god, you need to sort out his childish behaviour' Oh sorry, I thought he was in high school.

Both his height and weight have always been 99th plus percentile.

What do people want me to do about it??! Starve him so at least his weight isn't 99th percentile? Strap him down so he stops growing!

@CoastalWave god this resonates with me!

DD2 has a chronic health condition. When she was a tiny baby and undiagnosed sheher weight gain was awful, she went from 50th to way below 0.2nd centile or whatever the bottom one is. She's 2 now and I still feel those pangs when I hear someone talking about their baby being on the 99th centile or similar. In future I would know not to talk about it, it can be very painful for some parents.

90 plus centile is not that big. My dd is 98th for height and weight and I was a bit concerned she might end up 6ft 4 or something but apparently it equates to about 5ft 9 as a woman. I’m 5ft 9 and although tall I don’t think I’m ridiculously tall

@Stretchandsnap it’s not controversial and I was just being a sarky so and so but you must realize it IS unusual to have a 5ft7 ten year old, doesn’t meant there’s anything wrong with it but most couples in the Uk are not over 6ft with shoes you can’t buy in normal shops. Makes sense though because if you’re 6ft1 you’re going to end up with someone who is even taller as isn’t the general rule you end up with someone taller than you ?

My children are in primary school and are still on the centiles they were as babies (50th and 75th)

I imagine that people with children on the top centiles feel paranoid that others think they are being overfed or will comment on how tall they are etc. It's human nature to look for and point out differences between people and parents do tend to get a lot of comments, particularly about height.

What an odd thread

My sons 2 and 9 months and on the 99th centile for weight hes (38 lbs) and also height …what’s your problem ? He’s not fat at all he’s just very tall and yes he’s heavy to pick up but he doesn’t look fat at all ? He’s the size of a four year old and myself and father are both really tall. He eats healthy food with a few treats a week like a biscuit or small piece of chocolate. He started off on the 75th centile at birth and went upto 99th centile whilst breastfeeding so how could he be overweight?

I was that 99th percentile child for height and now my son is. Can relate to the expectations of people judging on looks alone. I was disproportionately annoyed when he went to visit Father Christmas at just turned 6. I ticked the 5-7 age box on booking. The elf gave him a toy out of the 8+ pile. When I questioned it. She glibly said but "he's big". Doesn't mean he has the manual dexterity to enjoy a toy with fiddly small parts.

Also not due to fucking overfeeding. It is genetics. His GF was born before WWII and was 6ft2. Didn't really have the option to pile on the pounds during rationing.

What I don't get about centiles as a measure of healthy weight is that as more children become overweight then surely 50th centile for instance will actually become a bit chubby?
Or am I misunderstanding?