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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a reasonable 1 year birthday present?

34 replies

ncnewbaby · 16/02/2022 09:44

Friend 1's baby is turning 1 at weekend and having a party.

Friend 2 and I were sorting through some of her old baby clothes and she'd put together a pile of nice baby clothes (all in excellent condition, some with the tags and not worn). Designer stuff, Sefridges, Jacabi as stuff like that.

She said she was going to wrap up the pieces (around 10) as the present for the birthday. Even though the clothes are nice I find it an odd birthday present and a bit cheap to give hand me downs as a gift.

Opinions?

OP posts:
Jjjaaakkk · 16/02/2022 09:45

I think that’s lovely, you should be pleased. She could sell them, and buy your DC a piece of plastic you don’t want!!

Spidey66 · 16/02/2022 09:46

I think that's fine. What else should happen to the clothes? Sent to landfill? As long as they don't smell of cigarette smoke or covered in pet hairs of course!

nightwakingmoon · 16/02/2022 09:47

If they’re new with tags then YABU; if they are clearly worn then YANBU. But new with tags nice stuff is fine - a present for a 1 y o only really needs to be a token or a small toy or item anyway!

SpiderVersed · 16/02/2022 09:48

It's a bit cheap - I'd hand them on AND buy a gift, but at least the clothes will be used.

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 16/02/2022 09:48

What a great gift! Designer, excellent condition, some of it even brand new, and reusing to save the planet... What's not to like? I'd be thrilled!

Beees · 16/02/2022 09:48

Why is it a odd gift. I'd far rather receive 10 pieces of good quality clothes than have my friend go out and buy something specially as a present. The one year old doesn't care and it's far more useful than yet another box of building bricks.

LaBellina · 16/02/2022 09:50

If the clothes are new with tags on then I think it’s fine to give them as a present. Just don’t tell them that they’re ‘left overs’ so to speak.

If they’re second hand then I think it might be a bad idea. I buy loads of second hand stuff and was very happy when my friend gifted me a vintage Burberry coat for my birthday last year but some people might think it’s strange esspecially because it’s not something from a charity shop, it’s something she used and now doesn’t need anymore for herself.

mermaidgiraffe · 16/02/2022 09:50

I'd be happy with that as a gift. A one year old doesn't care about presents and definitely doesn't care if they're new or not.

MajorCarolDanvers · 16/02/2022 09:51

Great present and environmentally friendly too

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 16/02/2022 09:52

I think we've somehow developed a collective mentality that you have to buy things new or it's not good enough. Like @SpiderVersed says above - it feels too 'cheap' to many people to give a preloved gift, and so they feel obliged to also spend money. But why? Why can't a nice gift just be a nice gift, no matter whether it belonged to someone else before? Why do we have to buy new, use more of the earth's resources, spend more of our money? Why don't we feel it's good enough give lovely gifts that are also thrifty and environmentally sound choices?

RavenclawsRoar · 16/02/2022 09:53

Yabu! I'd be very happy to receive that!

FlexibleWorkingDenied · 16/02/2022 09:55

@Jjjaaakkk

I think that’s lovely, you should be pleased. She could sell them, and buy your DC a piece of plastic you don’t want!!
The present isn’t for the OP’s DC
Ponoka7 · 16/02/2022 09:57

The clothing with tags on would be fine for a gift, because she could sell them. If that's the case with the other stuff, then it's fine. I'd only give them if I was short of money though.

SelfIdentifiedRightsHoarder · 16/02/2022 10:01

I would have been quite happy with that tbh. Babies grow out of clothes so fast, and they often get stained/ruined so in the case of my daughter any amount of clothes (especially 2nd hand for environmental reasons) would have been gratefully received. We got lots and lots of teddies and toys which my daughter already had far too many of! The most annoying presents were honestly the massive ones (a slide and a sand pit) as we don't really have space for them! The thing that made me happiest though wasn't the presents, it was the few family members who turned up on the day to spend time with her and brought photos that they had taken of us together which we hadn't seen before 😊

Nomicron · 16/02/2022 10:08

I’d give the new with tags as a present and pass on the rest at another time.

CecilyP · 16/02/2022 10:13

I’d give the new with tags as a present and pass on the rest at another time.

Yes, that would be the more sensible thing to do.

Penvelopey · 16/02/2022 10:15

@Nomicron

I’d give the new with tags as a present and pass on the rest at another time.
Yes I'd do this
N0va · 16/02/2022 10:19

I think realistically it would be down to the person receiving and what they like. However, if it were me, I would be happy! I'm always hunting for bargain clothes that are in good condition! I know that our baby clothes have only been worn a maximum of 5 times each if we really liked DC in them!

Daenerys77 · 16/02/2022 10:27

Several pieces of designer clothing would be an extravagant gift for an adult, let alone a one-year-old.

Zilla1 · 16/02/2022 10:46

In general, IMO, worn in any quantity is not a birthday present unless money is so tight. Unworn with tags is a gift if age appropriate for the recipient.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/02/2022 10:48

I’d have been really happy with that. Babies certainly wouldn’t have cared one way or the other.

pinklillie · 16/02/2022 10:54

I love a bargain! A friend of mine gave us her daughters rocker that she had outgrown for my sons 1st Birthday. We got something useful, she managed to get rid of something taking up space and it didn't cost her any extra money. I think this is how things should be done. You don't have to spend a fortune to show you care about someone plus it's better for the environment too!

Glitterygreen · 16/02/2022 11:23

I love that your friend is passing clothes on, but I do think it's a bit odd to wrap up and give hand-me-downs as a gift. I wouldn't do that.

I'd get a gift - just something small for a 1yo, a couple of books or something - and give the clothes alongside, but not as part of the gift.

SpiderVersed · 16/02/2022 11:56

@WhatsWithAllTheCarrots - I would include a board book rather than just give the second hand clothes.

I don’t think of buying books for a child unnecessary spending or a waste of the Earth’s resources. I really love choosing books for children.

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 16/02/2022 12:01

[quote SpiderVersed]@WhatsWithAllTheCarrots - I would include a board book rather than just give the second hand clothes.

I don’t think of buying books for a child unnecessary spending or a waste of the Earth’s resources. I really love choosing books for children.[/quote]
100% agree with this - in fact, books are my go-to present for the children in my life. I feel you can't have too many. But in the last year or so, I've been buying the books secondhand! I've had to struggle with my own discomfort at the idea of giving books that aren't pristine... I'm definitely part of that mentality that it has to be new or it's not good enough, too! But I'm trying to change my mindset on it x