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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to mention BO?

56 replies

Queenoftheduvan · 15/02/2022 18:53

Ok,I need help to not come across as a massive bitch….
Have you ever had to tell someone they had BO? How do you do it without causing upset???
It’s someone who I manage,so I feel like I have a duty to say something.
No other colleagues have mentioned it to me but it is clearly a strong smell and I can’t bear the thought of other people talking about her behind her back.
Person lives at home with access to showers and has more than one uniform to wash between shifts…I’m so uncomfortable so don’t want my discomfort to come across as rudeness

OP posts:
Wingedharpy · 16/02/2022 01:37

I think you have to be direct and mention "body odour" rather than "a dip in personal hygiene".
It won't help one iota if s/he just starts to clean their teeth more.
In private, direct and at the end of the work day for that individual.
Not easy.
Good luck OP.

Vaxhubsandwich · 16/02/2022 17:24

I've had to do it.
I had a private meeting with the person and just said "we all do a physical job here, it's hot and I've noticed you sometimes smell sweaty " or similar.
Person had also started using natural salt deodorant and had started washing uniform at 30 on an eco wash. They went and bought some Mitcham and washed clothes hotter and it was fine.
I stressed about it massively before though.

Queenoftheduvan · 16/02/2022 18:27

Thankyou everyone!

I think I’m going to go down the direct route as if I fanny about with hints,I’ll make an absolute hash of it and I don’t want to risk making them feel worse.
Love the end of the day tip and if I notice another day when it’s a bit whiffy,I’ll have to bite the bullet.

It could possibly be that the t shirt isn’t helping,lord knows I’ve worn some synthetic shite in my life and thrown caution to the BO!
The person in question does wear lots of underlayers to keep warm so it could be that these items just aren’t getting washed regularly perhaps.

OP posts:
Walkingalot · 16/02/2022 20:39

Probably oversharing but my DS13 ASD has terrible hygiene issues. I have to be on at him all the time. I find being direct works best. No point pussy footing around as being indirect doesn't work, for most people really.
So, tell them they smell. You can't really dress it up to be anything else. I bet they insist that they've washed, blah blah blah. They haven't. They are cutting corners and think no one has noticed.
You'll be doing them a favour in being direct.

rwalker · 16/02/2022 20:46

There's some horrendous advice on here.

Professional direct private chat at the end of the day.

No dropping hints, group message is bad idea because when the penny drops with the person who smells it will make it all the worse as been brought to everyones attention .

Hankunamatata · 16/02/2022 20:49

Be direct and professional. Perhaps also log the meeting with someone incase the person starts screaming discrimination or bullying

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