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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Patronising parents

53 replies

Boomshack · 15/02/2022 00:21

This particular mother has always been pretty patronising about my child - always assumed if I was in school it was to see teachers about her development compared to her ‘genius’ child (not because I was involved in other things and actually it had nothing to do with my child but because I helped with various activities for kids in other years)…

Her child left that school (yes a private school) to go to elsewhere but our child stayed. As it goes the original school closed so our DC has now ended up the one of the most prestigious schools in the area. It’s brilliant, she has thrived. Obviously the other child is elsewhere and unlikely to go where it DC is.

There have been a few occasions when she has been disbelieving our DD should get into the school like this. Anyway, I mentioned in a message that I couldn’t believe it was 2 terms since DD relocated school. This mum immediately responded that ‘oh so your DD is not at x any more, awww’ so I had to clarify that no it was only 2 terms since she went there.

I know she was pissed DD went to this new school in the first place. Why tho? Who gives that much of a shit about another kid? Why are some people so keen to see other kids fail?

OP posts:

twominutesmore · 15/02/2022 06:38

Why did her child leave the private school to go elsewhere?

If it wasn't entirely their choice - financial reasons for example - then she may be jealous.

twominutesmore · 15/02/2022 06:40

"Who gives that much of a shit about another kid?"

Well since you had a little brag on fb about the fact that you 'can't believe' your child had been at the prestigious new school for two terms, you presumably felt that lots of people must give a shit about where your kid goes to school. Otherwise why post?

Bywayofanupdate · 15/02/2022 06:42

Why are you still in contact with this person? She doesn't sound very pleasant. I am glad your daughter is thriving. I would keep quietly smug

Gabbiadini · 15/02/2022 06:47

So her child left the original private school. You kept in touch even though you don’t like her. The original private school closed down (this is surely quite a rare occurrence in itself) so your child moved to the most prestigious school in the area, obviously “better” than the one her genius child is at. You texted her about it and you weren’t keen on her response?

Whingasaurus · 15/02/2022 06:49

What a strange post you really don't come over any better than her.

labyrinthlaziness · 15/02/2022 06:52

Why are you giving this person so much brain space?

Just block/mute her on SM and get on with thinking about something/someone else.

Rathmobhaile · 15/02/2022 06:58

You sound as though you're as focused on her childs experiences and achievements as she is on yours. Focus on ensuring your child is happy and thriving, be glad when others are too and kind when others aren't is all you need to be here.

luxxlisbon · 15/02/2022 06:58

It does sound like you are involved in all the one up manship just as much tbf.

EishetChayil · 15/02/2022 06:59

All seems quite petty.

Veryverycalmnow · 15/02/2022 07:01

I presume she's in a group of friends that you do like and can't just ditch her, otherwise you would have. She sounds awful, but careful not to get drawn in to the private school parent politics uourself- that's not good. It's never nice when someone is undermining your child, so hope you can let this go and stop associating with this person.

PAFMO · 15/02/2022 07:01

You sound more obsessed with her tbh.

Playplayaway · 15/02/2022 07:03

It's all very tiresome. Do you and this woman actually like each other or do you just enjoy getting one up over each other?

pilates · 15/02/2022 07:05

You both sound as bad as each other tbh.

SonicBroom · 15/02/2022 07:05

Your post sounds like you’re quite consumed by all this.

Why weren’t either of you at the “prestigious” school in the first place?

Did you get moved there because yours closed down so they opened a few spaces? You say “relocated”… does that mean that your DC was selected or given a place because she didn’t have anywhere? It’s rare for any school to close down, it does sound like you’ve been very lucky.

Why did you then message about it? My DC are both at very prestigious schools and I never mention the school as anything I say would come across as bragging.

I’m glad she’s doing well but I think you know you’d be better off ending this friendship if neither r you are getting anything out of it.

Gilly12345 · 15/02/2022 07:14

Why are you wasting your precious time on this awful person?

Move on.

Billandben444 · 15/02/2022 07:15

You're as bad as she is!

Sleepyblueocean · 15/02/2022 07:26

You don't come across well in this either.

WizardOfAus · 15/02/2022 07:35

Is this a joke?

Polyanthus2 · 15/02/2022 07:39

Where are you posting this stuff about DD? Why can she see it?

PinkButtercups · 15/02/2022 07:43

You're both as bad as one another and both brag about your kids school.

I mean I know most private schools are if you can afford it a lot better than public schools but if it's just about bragging rights for the both of you. Get a life.

Anyone from anywhere can be anything they want. A school doesn't define them. Money, class doesn't define them.

JudgeRindersMinder · 15/02/2022 07:47

You and she sound like a perfect match!

HumousWhereTheHeartIs · 15/02/2022 07:50

Are you in Glasgow, OP? A private school here closed and various other schools offered places. The prestigious school here seems to attract very braggy parents!

HaveringWavering · 15/02/2022 07:54

I don’t follow why the closure of the original school meant your daughter got to a more “prestigious” one. Why did she not go there in the first place?

What were you hoping to achieve with your “can’t believe it is only two terms!” post?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 15/02/2022 07:56

I'm unsure why previous posters are saying it was on Facebook or posted so lots of people could see it.

What's the relationship @Boomshack - If its just a school mum, cut her off.

HaveringWavering · 15/02/2022 07:58

@HunterHearstHelmsley

I'm unsure why previous posters are saying it was on Facebook or posted so lots of people could see it.

What's the relationship @Boomshack - If its just a school mum, cut her off.

I don’t think it was a private conversation between OP and the other mother, though it does say “message”. A WhatsApp group perhaps?

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