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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a half slice of cake?

162 replies

GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:26

Ive got disordered eating, sometimes eating something with no low nutritional value (but plenty of pleasure) will start me off on a binge.

I'd done slimming world and lost a lot of weight but am now in the sad position of having put half of it back on.

So im trying a different approach. Using my fitness pal im slowly losing 1 pound a week. Currently 14 down since November.

I bloody love cake. The conception, construction, the aesthetic, and to a lesser degree, the consumption.

Quite often im happy just looking at cakes and have no yearning to eat them, intellectually I know there's better calories out there. I don't feel deprived.

Occasionally I just really really want cake. It's hormonal im sure. So I have some, but want it to be controlled.

I tend to share with very accommodating friends. This will be considered in my calories for the day.

I'm in a lovely cafe on my own and really fancied cake, so I asked for half, and said I was happy to pay full price.

The staff member gave the impression that they thought I was very odd.

Wibu to ask?

OP posts:
TulipsTwoLips · 14/02/2022 14:25

I really admire the way you're getting to grips with your disordered eating. That's such a hard thing to do.

You are always going to get some well meaning people finding it a bit unusual or even odd though - logically paying for something but only wanting half will feel strange to some, and some may feel a little uncomfortable essentially being offered something for free by a stranger.

Hopefully in time cafe's offering smaller portions will become a norm though, like you're saying.

Hont1986 · 14/02/2022 14:28

How so? They don't have to eat it. They could offer it to a local homeless person. They could take it home for a family member. It's a nice gesture.

You think the café staff are going to go out onto the street to offer a homeless person half a slice of cake? Come on. It's going in the bin, along with all the other leftovers on customers plates.

It's not a nice gesture, it makes someone's job that little bit more complicated when there is a much simpler solution: buy the whole thing and only eat half of it.

Campervangirl · 14/02/2022 14:35

I'd ask for half a slice and offer to pay full price with a jokey explanation that I'm dieting and can't be trusted not to eat the whole slice (I wouldn't be joking as I really couldn't trust myself, I love cake!)
If your served by a woman she's gonna totally get it 😂

Blossomtoes · 14/02/2022 14:39

Come on. It's going in the bin, along with all the other leftovers on customers plates.

If I worked there it would be going down my gullet. 😊

ikeepseeingit · 14/02/2022 14:40

Were the staff quite young OP? Maybe they hadn’t come across it before and got confused. When I worked in a cafe I would just box or wrap up the other half so they could have it tomorrow. We didn’t get the requests very often but did get them so it’s not that odd!

misspercy · 14/02/2022 14:46

OP - just a quick comment to show some support.

I also don't have the best relationship with food, and I'd also eat the whole cake in front of me even if I didn't need/want it, so would prefer someone to take half away from me in advance for the same money...

gogohm · 14/02/2022 14:47

The problem is that the cake is made to serve so many slices, half a slice isn't any use to them, better to ask them to box up the spare and offer it to another customer perhaps

Mollysocks · 14/02/2022 14:48

I’m a glutton and I find fake slices have become huge recently! Some are like a house brick!!

PrivateHall · 14/02/2022 14:50

@Toanewstart23

If a cafe wasn’t happy at prospect of eating half its own cake - I’d be worried
Or maybe the staff member has similar issues to op so avoids eating any of the cakes? If I worked in that cafe, I would prefer to never know how good the stuff tastes to be honest!
BewareTheBeardedDragon · 14/02/2022 14:51

@Hont1986

How so? They don't have to eat it. They could offer it to a local homeless person. They could take it home for a family member. It's a nice gesture.

You think the café staff are going to go out onto the street to offer a homeless person half a slice of cake? Come on. It's going in the bin, along with all the other leftovers on customers plates.

It's not a nice gesture, it makes someone's job that little bit more complicated when there is a much simpler solution: buy the whole thing and only eat half of it.

As pp said upthread, if it's too much of a hardship for someone who works in a cafe to cut a piece of cake in half then they are not in the right job. And if half a slice that has never been served would go in the bin, yes it is food waste - but that's on the cafe, not the OP.
PrivateHall · 14/02/2022 14:54

@TheOldLadyOfThreadneedleStreet

Oh this thread depresses me cos I have never found a slice of cake in a cafe too big and often choose the type of cake which has the biggest slices! Though coffee and walnut is the best.

But there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a half slice and OP please feel happy about it.

When I’m cutting cake for people at home I generally ask how big a slice each person wants and cut slices varying from tiny to huge. Perhaps cafes should do the same and stop pre-portioning everything up.

Why be depressed about it? If you enjoy it, why does it matter if others don't? I personally would never buy a slice of cake in a cafe due to the size - because I have weight issues. I have to fight bloody hard to not put weight on. I don't know why that depresses you, I am actually fine about it.
OperationDog · 14/02/2022 15:01

Have you ever NOT bought a slice because it was too big?

I avoid cafes where the portions are too big. One place had scones the size of saucers so I didn't go back.

Generally, though not always, places that serve smaller portions are better quality.

However, I'm sure the cafe owners aren't quaking in their boots because of my attitude. They have plenty of customers who want a big slice of cake.

dapsnotplimsolls · 14/02/2022 15:05

YABU for posting that picture 😁

Hont1986 · 14/02/2022 15:05

if it's too much of a hardship for someone who works in a cafe to cut a piece of cake in half then they are not in the right job.

No-one is talking about a request just to cut it in half for her, that's fine (although would sound a bit precious since the slice almost certainly comes with a knife or fork anyway).

The 'hardship' is in making custom requests to a staff member who might not know what to do with it. Does this person want a 50% discount? Do they want the other half boxed up for them? Is their friend coming along shortly to buy the other half? Is my boss going to come along and ask why I sold half a slice of cake to that woman and charged her full price? It makes that minimum wage person's job just a teeny bit harder.

And if half a slice that has never been served would go in the bin, yes it is food waste - but that's on the cafe, not the OP.

Well, that's the whole point, isn't it? OP doesn't want to feel guilty for wasting food, so she makes this strange request to the cafe so it's their fault when the food is inevitably wasted. "I only ate half of my spaghetti but the kitchen staff could have shared it amongst themselves, or donated it to a food bank - terrible shame for them to waste all that food."

MyCatStaresAtMe · 14/02/2022 15:32

I wish this was standard practice to be honest. I’d be far more likely to indulge in a 150 calorie piece of cake rather than a 300 - 400 calorie slice, not matter how slim the piece was.

To me 400 calories is a whole meal.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/02/2022 15:34

Could you not in future, have the whole slice - but take half home to feed the birds? That way it doesn't matter if it gets battered and you have the triple glow of

Doing something for the birds
Managing your desire
Eating cake.

BeenHereForAges · 14/02/2022 15:43

YABU for now making me need cake! Cake
Honestly though I would have been fine with this if i worked there. Maybe she just couldn't understand that the slices are a bit big for sometimes.

Blossomtoes · 14/02/2022 15:48

Are you being deliberately obtuse @Hont1986? The entire point is that the other half of the cake never touched OP’s plate and she made it crystal clear she was prepared to pay for all of it.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 14/02/2022 16:00

The 'hardship' is in making custom requests to a staff member who might not know what to do with it. Does this person want a 50% discount?
No - she said upfront she would pay the full price.

Do they want the other half boxed up for them?
No - she suggested a staff member could have it so obviously doesn't want it boxed up

Is their friend coming along shortly to buy the other half?
No - see above

Is my boss going to come along and ask why I sold half a slice of cake to that woman and charged her full price?
Comes back to the point that cafes serve too big slices of cake - and the staff member can explain. Good service is a service industry - if the customer wants just half a slice then it's better business to give them what they want, no skin off the cafes nose, rather than refuse and that customer may well not return.

It makes that minimum wage person's job just a teeny bit harder.
Honestly - having worked a minimum wage job in the service industry this is really not the sort of customer behaviour that makes it harder.

As for the rest of your post - yes of course it's the cafes fault if they offer huge slices of cake, much bigger than a sensible portion size (which many do) and a customer wants half the amount for the same money if the cafe thinks their only option is to bin the other half.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 14/02/2022 16:01

Food service - not Good service, though of course good service is giving a customer what they want where it doesn't harm the business to do so. Giving someone a smaller portion for the same price in no way harms the cafe.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 14/02/2022 16:04

But OP feeling like she had to take a full slice could well harm her as she explained. Or might harm the cafe in losing her business, as many other pp have stated they have not bought because portion was too large.

sleepyhoglet · 14/02/2022 16:10

Order the whole slice but take half home for another day. You can even freeze it!

Blossomtoes · 14/02/2022 16:15

@sleepyhoglet

Order the whole slice but take half home for another day. You can even freeze it!
OP’s already explained the many reasons why that wasn’t an option.
CakeAmbushAlert · 14/02/2022 16:16

YANBU a full piece is often too much & costly. I would never cut shop size slices at home. Would much rather smaller, cheaper slicers were available. Cafe owners please take note.

Likewise love pubs where small portions of starters / mains /desserts are available.

SweetFelicityArkright · 14/02/2022 16:22

Honestly - having worked a minimum wage job in the service industry this is really not the sort of customer behaviour that makes it harder.

I agree with this, but would say that it is unusual for a customer to want less for their money than more, and though I wouldn't refuse to do it or have an issue with doing it, I would be making absolutely sure that I had got it right and not misunderstood the customer and then be accused of ripping someone off - and for that culture we have the customers who's behaviour does make it harder to thank.