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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a half slice of cake?

162 replies

GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:26

Ive got disordered eating, sometimes eating something with no low nutritional value (but plenty of pleasure) will start me off on a binge.

I'd done slimming world and lost a lot of weight but am now in the sad position of having put half of it back on.

So im trying a different approach. Using my fitness pal im slowly losing 1 pound a week. Currently 14 down since November.

I bloody love cake. The conception, construction, the aesthetic, and to a lesser degree, the consumption.

Quite often im happy just looking at cakes and have no yearning to eat them, intellectually I know there's better calories out there. I don't feel deprived.

Occasionally I just really really want cake. It's hormonal im sure. So I have some, but want it to be controlled.

I tend to share with very accommodating friends. This will be considered in my calories for the day.

I'm in a lovely cafe on my own and really fancied cake, so I asked for half, and said I was happy to pay full price.

The staff member gave the impression that they thought I was very odd.

Wibu to ask?

OP posts:
Original poster
GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:41

@mistermagpie

I think it's fine, I'm like you OP and have a bit of a problem with sugar. Sometimes I can set myself off on a binge if I don't keep myself under control. Portion sizes in cafes and restaurants are usually huge but I will eat the whole thing if it's in front of me, even if I feel a bit sick afterwards.

A half slice is a good idea, and so is half a portion of chips. I don't see any issue at all especially if you are willing to pay for the full slice, who would mind that?!

One mint polo once set me off on a terrible binge Sad

Not kidding.

It's way more manageable now though 🤞🏼

OP posts:
DiddyHeck · 14/02/2022 11:41

@PickledOnionSandwich

YABU. Who were they going to give the other half to? Just eat half and leave the rest Hmm
Excellent idea! Why don't all binge eaters just leave half their food!!

There you go OP, problem solved by PickledOnionSandwich there Hmm

CatOfTheLand · 14/02/2022 11:42

Not weird - as it's untouched and still on the serving plate I'd ask them to offer it to the next customer who was nice to them if they weren't allowed to eat it themselves

ErrolTheDragon · 14/02/2022 11:42

YANBU.
It's a really good idea - apart from any other reasons, women and children are often simply too small for a whole massive slice of cake to be appropriate.

Babyroobs · 14/02/2022 11:43

I don't think you are unreasonable. Smaller portions should be available. Most cafes offer enormous portions and when you've paid £3 odd to buy it most people won't leave any. I think it's huge portion sizes that have fueled the obesity problems we have.

Original poster
GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:44

Some people who work in these environments love it when there's extra food offered to staff.

They're not leftovers if the food hasn't been out to customers.

DD3 still goes misty eyed recalling the Great OverProvision of Yorkshire puddings at her Vintage Inn Christmas 2017. Grin

OP posts:
irregularegular · 14/02/2022 11:44

Not unreasonable, no.

But I can understand why they thought it was bit weird! My first thoughts would also have been "1. she wants to pay half price - not possible! 2. oh, she doesn't, so why didn't she just take the whole slice and leave it?"

I can understand why you wanted them to just give you half a slice though.

Original poster
GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:44

@Babyroobs

I don't think you are unreasonable. Smaller portions should be available. Most cafes offer enormous portions and when you've paid £3 odd to buy it most people won't leave any. I think it's huge portion sizes that have fueled the obesity problems we have.
It was five whole pounds Blush
OP posts:
DoubleChinWoes2 · 14/02/2022 11:46

I need to sort out my binge eating - can I ask for how your approached this and what worked? I can't eat any cake as it'll set off a huge binge but then not eating the cake also sets off a binge. I feel totally stuck.

Madickenxx · 14/02/2022 11:46

I'm not a huge fan of cake generally but I did have some coffee and walnut cake in a café last weekend and the slices were huge. I asked if they could half the slice and put one on a plate for me and the other one in a takeaway box which I've put in the freezer for another time. Makes perfect sense to me. :-)

RumJerrySailorRum · 14/02/2022 11:47

Asking for a half portion of chips is standard!

I work with food, not a cafe, and I get lots of orders with special requests on, so one asking for a half size wouldn't even register as that's easy and normal!

Original poster
GretaGip · 14/02/2022 11:53

@DoubleChinWoes2

I need to sort out my binge eating - can I ask for how your approached this and what worked? I can't eat any cake as it'll set off a huge binge but then not eating the cake also sets off a binge. I feel totally stuck.
I had a bad couple of years emotions wise after losing a lot with SW, so I gave in to binges and left mindful eating behind.

When I was ready to restart I really that the SW approach still,allowed me to overeat, though just with allowed foods so I realised that it wasn't going to be a long term approach.

MFP allows me to eat anything item I want within limited portions. And the calories allowed reduce as you shrink, so you have to eat less as you lose weight, which SW didn't do.

It's not an easy path and I'll always struggle but currently it's easier to manage.

Happy to have a PM from you Thanks

OP posts:
Hellolittlestar · 14/02/2022 12:02

Not a problem at all. I would happily ask for a half for my toddler.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2022 12:03

@PickledOnionSandwich

YABU. Who were they going to give the other half to? Just eat half and leave the rest Hmm
Op has said she has disordered eating. If that means she needs for half of that cake to not be on her plate is it really such a massive inconvenience for someone to chip it in half and bin the other half if they have nothing else they can do with it? She's hardly asking them to put themselves out
INeedNewShoes · 14/02/2022 12:08

I wish all cafes, restaurants and pubs offered smaller portions as an option.

The portion sizes are sometimes grossly huge (and I have a big appetite). I hate food waste, I also don't have much self control with food but it's a waste even if I eat it but didn't want it.

I'd happily pay 3/4 price for a half portion. I feel like everywhere caters for the biggest appetites because they can't be accused of being stingy.

Lovemusic33 · 14/02/2022 12:10

I have no control around cake at all, I’m not sure I could even ask for half a slice (I’m not strong enough), if I see cake I want a big slice 🤣

I think it’s fine asking for a half slice.

I met a friend for coffee and cake last week and lost all self control….went for the biggest slice of chocolate cake then felt very sick and guilty afterwards, I couldn’t even eat it all.

DropYourSword · 14/02/2022 12:13

I guess cafés may pause to consider this request because there are cheeky fuckers people who might order half a slice and then take a picture and upload onto social media with a comment something along the lines of "Look how ridiculously tiny the portions are in cafe x, sad daily mail face"

Hoppinggreen · 14/02/2022 12:15

@GretaGip

Carrot and walnut by the way 💕
That’s the only thing unreasonable here!
Toanewstart23 · 14/02/2022 12:15

You hate food waste?

Well if this is what you’re going to start doing in cafes and bakeries - be prepared for a lot of it

Alrightqueenie · 14/02/2022 12:17

Can you ask for a child's portion. My local cafe offer smaller slices of the large humungous cakes for children. All cafes should do this because kids can't always eat a whole 3 layered cake slices.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/02/2022 12:17

YANBU OP.

Large portions in restaurants, cafes etc are one of the causes of many people being overweight. It's hard to not eat the whole portion once it's on a plate in front of you, even if you've had enough before it's all gone.

They keep talking about maximum calorie levels for this sort of food and smaller portions are needed to achieve this aim. There absolutely should be more options as standard for people who don't want a huge wedge of cake or pile of food as a meal.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2022 12:19

@Toanewstart23

You hate food waste?

Well if this is what you’re going to start doing in cafes and bakeries - be prepared for a lot of it

🙄

Why do people post just so they can say something unhelpful and unkind?

BuritoCat · 14/02/2022 12:20

If you had half, and half was left why didn't they just sell the remaining half? I don't understand 😂

MMMarmite · 14/02/2022 12:21

YANBU. Cafe cake portions are often a bit ridiculously large. I hate choosing between overeating and foodwaste. I sometimes wrap some in a napkin to take home.

Dammitthisisshit · 14/02/2022 12:21

Carrot cake is the is the food of the gods. Therefore nothing you do is unreasonable.
I can’t imagine eating half a slice of carrot cake though! But agree with you on portions. I also eat things I don’t even want because I’ve bought it 😣. I know it’s silly.
Often I just want a tiny bit to go with a drink - like 1/4 brownie. A whole one is too big.