to expect to be satisfied during sex?

[howtoleaveit]

I’ve been married a long time and in the last 10 years I’ve had 3 orgasms during sex with my DH. I’m at the point of thinking of leaving my marriage over it. Sex when we do it is fun and good but he then gets off and leaves me high and dry! It’s so frustrating and I just don’t know if I’m being reasonable to expect him to make some effort or care that I’m satisfied too? He doesn’t even ask if it was ok for me. I’m starting to resent how selfish he is in bed and it’s seeping through to other areas of our relationship. I’m snappy and pissed off with him. I wanted to find out if other people in long term marriages have this experience.

Something made you post now, but you certainly don't have to leave now or blow up your life. Take the responses for what they are - external responses to an aspect of your life the way you see it. I'd always say, sleep on it, think about things. Get advice, maybe legal advice. Build up your work situation so that you have more independence. We're rooting for you to have a better life but we don't know you.

There’s no need to jump now, you’ve recognised a problem so you can take your time to decide what you want to do.
I had a free phone call with a family solicitor and found it quite empowering.

As other posters mention, it's critical that think about the legal, financial aspects of anything you do, and look forward in the medium term.

It's incredible that the satisfaction issue has been unaddressed for 10 years. You must be very patient! A few related thoughts:

• do you know how to satisfy yourself? if yes, then he might need to be shown what to do, it's not that uncommon (if no, then that's a very different problem!)

• during sex a lot of people need to help themselves along too sometimes, at least I do, and DH likes that too. why not do/try that?

Note for OP: no need to answer these, it's just questions I'd have in my mind

Don't rush anything, but make sure he understands what you want/need to be happy.

I'm fairly sure, if by DH though I was not "satisfied" he'd not been happy either. If your partner never orgasms, during then they really can't be good for relationship longer term, it must suck for both.

Typos ...

I'm fairly sure, if my DH though I was not "satisfied" he'd not been happy either. If your partner never orgasms during sex then that really can't be good for relationship longer term, it must suck for both to be in that type of sexual relationship.

Have you tried including a small clit toy in your sex life? You and/or your DH can use it before, during or after intercourse, you’ll have an orgasm every time.

Starting to resent. Starting...

I'd be 9 years and 10 months past starting!

Get a vibrator