Please tell me there are more good men out in the world.

Ifyoudontlaughyouwillcry · 2022-02-13T22:27:15+00:00

I’ve read lots of horrible threads the last few days about quite frankly shitty men! Please tell me there are still good men out there and we shouldn’t give up hope. I will start - my hubby been working away all last week and has gone back tonight has spent the whole weekend being a brilliant dad. He’s played with the kids, walked the dog, cooked my dinner last night, did the recycling bins before he left and used his works bonus to buy my valentines gift. I’m not boasting but just to let you know ladies there are good men out in the world. Big hand hold for all of you having to put up with crap - get rid of rubbish you deserve better. (Ps I’m over 50, over weight and over tired)

RedCandyApple · 13/02/2022 23:47

There has been so many of these threads recently, you will read more bad things on threads on the internet because people come on when they are looking for advice or have a problem. So you will read more bad than good. No one comes on to post positive things as it will be seen as gloating. Best to remember that.

Campfirewood · 13/02/2022 23:48

I think It’s great to post the positives. Helps to give Everyone hope 😃 that’s lovely Op

DiddyHeck · 13/02/2022 23:50

No there aren't. It's literally just your man. Would you like to share him? 🙄

Or do you think it might just be that people tend to mostly only post when they have a problem?

RedCandyApple · 13/02/2022 23:52

There’s been several threads recently along the lines of “lovely things your partner does” because there’s so much “negativity” yes people tend to post the negative things when looking for advice.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 13/02/2022 23:59

Yawn.

Of course there are good men out there. I'm married to one.

There have been a few threads where all the OP's think they are being original by bigging up da menz.

But I wouldn't start a thread to say 'my husband is so wonderful. He makes me a cup of tea in bed and watches the kids while I have a bath' 🙄😴

Like men should be applauded for doing the bare minimum you would expect someone who loves you, should do.

People post about their horrible experiences because they want help and advice and starting a thread about NAMALT, is a bit shitty.

DiddyHeck · 14/02/2022 00:00

Also (and I know I sound like a moaning Minnie), I think a lot of people set the bar so low that a husband doing extremely normal things like playing with his kids when he hasn't seen them all week, walking his own dog that he hasn't seen all week, cooking one dinner and putting a bin out makes him a 'brilliant dad and a good man'.

This is probably another reason why things get a bit skewed on MN because most people with husbands doing normal things like that, wouldn't think it was at all worthy of a mention.

dipdye · 14/02/2022 00:01

Meh I dunno.

I think a lot take the piss tbh.

But women can be slackers too

Nostrings457 · 14/02/2022 00:04

I don’t feel OP deserve the stick she’s getting tbh. What’s wrong with putting a bit of positivity out there

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 00:05

@DiddyHeck

Also (and I know I sound like a moaning Minnie), I think a lot of people set the bar so low that a husband doing extremely normal things like playing with his kids when he hasn't seen them all week, walking his own dog that he hasn't seen all week, cooking one dinner and putting a bin out makes him a 'brilliant dad and a good man'.

This is probably another reason why things get a bit skewed on MN because most people with husbands doing normal things like that, wouldn't think it was at all worthy of a mention.

Absolutely agree.

The mundane, every day shit that men do for women, seems to indicate that they should win the husband of the year trophy.

Women who are looking for advice cos of their shitty men, do not not need to see women waving their pom poms and starting threads for their partners who run them a bath or look after the kids whilst they go the salon.

RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 00:06

Nothing is wrong with it but there was a thread the other day like pp said about someone’s DH being great because he made them a tea and ran a bath (something along those lines!) people are only pointing on that not many people will post stuff like that because really it’s pointless and unnecessary. People post when they are having problems, it’s that simple.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 00:08

@Nostrings457

I don’t feel OP deserve the stick she’s getting tbh. What’s wrong with putting a bit of positivity out there

Because there has been quite a few threads lately, about wonderful men doing the bare minimum and being adored.

RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 00:08

Someone saying their DH is great because he cleaned the kitchen and took his kids to soft play 🙄 women don’t get praised for cleaning and looking after their kids

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 00:17

He’s played with the kids
Something I'm sure you do every day

walked the dog
Sure you do this also

cooked my dinner last night
How often do you cook his dinner?

did the recycling bins before he left
Fair do's, I don't do the bins

used his works bonus to buy my valentines gift
If my dh got a bonus, it would be family money, as my bonus is every Xmas. It would not be 'his' money, it would be 'our' money and we would decide together what we should do with it.

T00Ts · 14/02/2022 00:19

I feel regularly bothered and compelled to comment about the shit men in threads on here. It’s so awful. I just hope the women involved manage to find it in themselves to take some of the advice they’re given, and leave.

PamelaDoov · 14/02/2022 00:26

My DH is wonderful and not in a bare minimum, looked after the kids for ten mins while I washed my hair, kind of way. He’s genuinely the most kind, selfless, generous person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And watching him play with DS makes my heart melt. And he makes me laugh until I wee myself. And he’s gorgeous.

I also feel really sad when I read about men being praised for doing really basic, every-day things that a woman would never ever get any credit for. Especially when it’s done to ‘make up’ for something shit they’ve done. And worry about the women who put up with their shit.

Viviennemary · 14/02/2022 00:42

Of course there are. But a lot of them are probably a bit boring.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 00:48

@Viviennemary

Of course there are. But a lot of them are probably a bit boring.

So you think bare minimum/twatty men, are exciting?

SaySomethingMan · 14/02/2022 00:50

@Viviennemary

Of course there are. But a lot of them are probably a bit boring.

OnlyAFleshWound · 14/02/2022 00:51

A man put the bins out. I shall notify the Times post-haste.

cuno · 14/02/2022 00:55

I'm sure the heros over on the "not all men" thread will be here shortly to brag about themselves. 🙄

Lemonandadropofhoney · 14/02/2022 00:59

My Dh is really few and far between. He is a wonderful hands on father to my DC and he always does little gestures that make me feel really loved. For example, without me asking, he popped into the shop yesterday on his way home to pick me up some sanitary pads and chocolate because he knew my period was due and had seen that I only had a few pads left in the bathroom.

We split household duties/childcare evenly even though I'm part time and he's full time. And he never expects any praise for doing so.

And my most favourite trait is he will always call out men being disrespectful to women (Inc his own father) and will not tolerate any misogyny in his presence. I really admire him for this and I'm so pleased my DD has him as a role model.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/02/2022 01:01

So a man plays with his children, walks the dog, and he's now a super hero? 🙄

Aim higher.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 01:16

@Lemonandadropofhoney

My Dh is really few and far between. He is a wonderful hands on father to my DC and he always does little gestures that make me feel really loved. For example, without me asking, he popped into the shop yesterday on his way home to pick me up some sanitary pads and chocolate because he knew my period was due and had seen that I only had a few pads left in the bathroom.

We split household duties/childcare evenly even though I'm part time and he's full time. And he never expects any praise for doing so.

And my most favourite trait is he will always call out men being disrespectful to women (Inc his own father) and will not tolerate any misogyny in his presence. I really admire him for this and I'm so pleased my DD has him as a role model.

He isn't few and far between though. And it's really sad you think like this. And was the point I was trying to make.

Treating someone you love with thoughtfulness, kindness and respect, it what you should EXPECT from a life partner.

Someone who makes you a cup of tea and minds the kids while you have half an hour free time, is shit. But some women are grateful for this.

Although I will admit, my husband is not fully aware of my menstrual cycle 🙄, but he will buy me pads, tampons etc. He will cook the tea without me thanking him for it, I am able to go out with friends without him looking at it as 'babysitting'. He will do housework he sees needs doing. He puts washing on without being prompted.

He does lots of things that I do without wanting thanks for it.

Just normal shit, that some women think their dh is wonderful for.

I will reiterate again. Women come on here asking for help and assistance with their shitty partners. Nobody should really be starting a thread about their mediocre husbands, as it just rubs it in.

Nsky · 14/02/2022 01:17

I know there are, been unlucky since my divorce 20 yrs ago, not my ideal, coping Happily, done too much
Old friend, husband left her after 30 yrs, had no poor love

Linguini · 14/02/2022 01:19

Oh come on you miserable lot I thought the OP was a nice one. Loads of negativity followed!

It's valentine's Day today so maybe the timing was off for some many

I have a Luffly and perfect man, we will be spending valentine's apart but will survive.