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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need to move

33 replies

jadey1991 · 13/02/2022 20:59

Hi all,
I'm in a 2 bed flat(1 box single and a small double). I have 3 children aged 13, 7, and 2 months.
I share the small double with my partner 7 year old and 2 month old baby.
I've been contacting my landlord on many occasions regarding moving and all I keep getting is "bid, house exchange and home swap"...
I've been on all 3 of these for the past 7 years and not getting anywhere. It is actually stressing me out.

What can I do? Any good advice please?

OP posts:
LakieLady · 13/02/2022 21:09

Are the 13 and 7 year old the same sex? If so, you're only short of one bedroom for the next three years and won't be high priority for a move through bidding.

All you can do is keep bidding, keep trying for an exchange with someone who wants to downsize, and hope you eventually get lucky.

It's grim, but this is the reality when social housing is so scarce.

LottyD32 · 13/02/2022 21:39

Could you get a sofa bed for now? I know people that sleep in the living room.

Or put the 13 and 7 yo's together. 4 people in one room and one in the other is madness.

Sunrae28 · 13/02/2022 21:44

You can ask your health visitor to refer to environmental health for an overcrowding assessment. The measurements of the rooms help to determine how many people should sleep in each one. If you have a living room though you will likely be asked to turn that into another sleeping area. Also health visitor can write a supporting letter if there are any health needs being impacted by the sleeping arrangements etc- Id start with them

Sunrae28 · 13/02/2022 21:45

Also you can contact Shelter for housing advice

Original poster
jadey1991 · 13/02/2022 22:43

@LakieLady yes 13 and 7 year old are same sex. They can't share the same bedroom because I cannot fit a bunk bed in there. All that's in my 13 year olds bedroom is a single bed and a chest of draws. We tried to get a bunk bed in there but couldn't

OP posts:
Original poster
jadey1991 · 13/02/2022 22:54

@LottyD32 exactly it is crazy. We tried sofa bed too but unfortunately my 7 year old can't sleep on it as she finds it uncomfortable

OP posts:
Original poster
jadey1991 · 13/02/2022 22:56

@Sunrae28 I asked my health visitor it she said she cannot write any letters. Apparently it's a new law. And thanks for the info hun

OP posts:
PollyPeePants · 13/02/2022 23:04

I'm confused. How can you fit a single bed in the 13yo's room but not a set of bunk beds? Surely they take up the same floor space? Unless sloped ceiling?

user1493494961 · 13/02/2022 23:04

You and your partner will have to sleep on the sofa bed.

Blinkingheckythump · 13/02/2022 23:13

Surely you get a better sofa bed then? But you and your partner should be on that, not the kid.

dangermouseisace · 13/02/2022 23:25

I’d second parents on sofa bed, baby in with them. 13 year old and 7 year old in bedrooms. Baby to move into 7 year old’s when big enough/cot in there.

I’m on a sofa bed. It’s ok if you get a comfy one.

You might have more luck renting privately but then you wouldn’t have security.

Original poster
jadey1991 · 13/02/2022 23:35

Thanks for all the responses.. yes the small bedroom has a sloped celling.. my partner cannot sleep on sofa bed due to having osteoarthritis in his back.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 13/02/2022 23:41

Why don’t the 13 and 7 year old share

Baby small room, you and partner on good sofa bed, I don’t believe for one minute you couldn’t find one that would support his back

Otherwise single bed for him in the small room, and you and youngest on sofa bed

Whitefire · 13/02/2022 23:47

Firstly there is no law about writing letters, but they don't always make a difference.

Is your banding right? Where are you finishing on the lists? Are you bidding on a wider area as possible and a a variety of properties? What property type are you after? Have you absolutely no other options but council / HA?

Whitefire · 13/02/2022 23:50

Would this bed work in the small room? (Google hacks for making it a bunk bed)

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/kura-reversible-bed-white-pine-80253809/

GrolliffetheDragon · 13/02/2022 23:52

I don’t believe for one minute you couldn’t find one that would support his back

I imagine the likelihood of finding one suitable depends somewhat on the budget. The most comfortable sofa beds seem to be £1,000+

Original poster
jadey1991 · 14/02/2022 00:41

@Whitefire on bidding I'm in band 2 classes as priority but have been for the past 6 years..yes I've been looking close by and further a field.. I'm looking for a that is just big enough for us. I can't do high rise flats due to my 13 and 7 year old asthma. And I don't think there is any other option for me. That's why I asked for some advice really to see what other people opinions are

OP posts:
Original poster
jadey1991 · 14/02/2022 00:42

@Whitefire that link you provided with the bed from ikea looks lovely.. it could work. Thanks hun. I'll have to do measurements

OP posts:
Original poster
jadey1991 · 14/02/2022 00:43

@GrolliffetheDragon unfortunately I don't have that kind of money laying around. I'm on maternity leave at the mo.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 14/02/2022 00:54

What is the issue with flats and asthma? Is there a reason you have 3 children in such a small flat, did you consider the implications before having the baby?

Original poster
jadey1991 · 14/02/2022 11:14

@toomuchlaundry there has been a few occasions that we had been offered high rise flats on 7th and above floor with no lift. Who really thinks about the implications before having a child? With my 3rd child we didn't know I could have anymore children so he is a blessing. I was under a lot of specialist.

OP posts:
Whitefire · 14/02/2022 12:28

I am presuming you are in an area of high demand, low supply. Is your band 2 for overcrowding by one bedroom, presumably before baby arrived you weren't classed as over crowded (or has the 2nd bedroom always been deemed one person only?) Are you now eligible for a 3 bed or do you need to wait until baby is 1? You may just have more luck trying to swap a 2 bed for a 3 bed (heating costs, bedroom tax)

There is no magic solution, and if the things I have suggested are not working then I can only presume that demand is seriously outstripping supply.

Alternatively move to parts of the NE, no seven year waits up here.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 14/02/2022 12:31

Are both of you working full time (when not on mat leave)?

Could you private rent?

FawnFrenchieMum · 14/02/2022 12:35

[quote jadey1991]@toomuchlaundry there has been a few occasions that we had been offered high rise flats on 7th and above floor with no lift. Who really thinks about the implications before having a child? With my 3rd child we didn't know I could have anymore children so he is a blessing. I was under a lot of specialist.[/quote]
People who own houses or private rent think of the implications before having children!

Hb12 · 14/02/2022 12:35

Do you both work? I believe many councils offer help with deposits etc for private lets.

What's the connection between asthma and flats?

And yes, most people do consider the implications 😂

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