Is life even worth it if you’re never been/going to be loved (in romantic way)?

[SoLoveless2022]

Would you be okey with that?

You do know that some people aren't interested at all. Asexuals and aromantics etc. Of course life is worth living. Jesus.

If you life is only meaningful because of romance and or sex then I feel sorry for you indeed.

[quote SoLoveless2022]@Somethingsnappy

Well, since I haven’t been in one so far, it’s just seems impossible at this point.
I guess I’ve just started to see it something that is never going to ”happen” / be me.[/quote]
What do you like to do? Do stuff you like. Take up a hobby Study a course you're interested in. Do self development stuff . Travel. Someone will come along eventually. The thing is when you romanticise they probably won't live up to your expectations.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Absolutely. I have been married but I'm divorced now and have no desire to be in a committed relationship again, very overrated in my experience.

Same here.

@Suepicano7176

of course it is. start looking out for other people and not just yourself

Why do you think she doesn't already do that?

Of course it is, one of my siblings has never had (to my knowledge- and we are quite close) a long term relationship. He is one of the happiest, most content people I know ... due to having no dependents he was able to retire early, buy his own home near the sea and leads a wonderful life with lots of friends and interesting hobbies... I would love his lifestyle!

@SoLoveless2022 Hi OP ❤️ I understand what you mean and what you feel you have missed out on. I am with my DH since I was 21 but until then had never had a romance or boyfriend or even had someone like me romantically. I was so young but felt like I was missing out on the romance and excitement and all of that. And even now when mundane ordinary life makes me feel like DH and I are teammates I really rely on the memories of those initial days of lust and romance and being adored to remind me what brought us together. But it's not too late for you. Easy for me to say I know. Have you tried apps and going out more etc? And if romantic love never comes your way, your life is worth so much more than just that anyway ❤️

I wouldn't become depressed by it or anything but if I'd never experienced it I think I would always be curious and wonder what it felt like and why I've never met someone. As it is, I am single now and have been in love a few times, I'm quite content to never experience it again but I think that's only because I already have.

But yea, life is worth living even if you're never going to be loved.

My aunt had a very successful life my mother envied her, she never had a boyfriend had a high flying career, lots of friends was always out and about hardly cooked she ate out and went to the theater a lot and traveled the world, died leaving two properties and a good sum of money to relatives. (had a gold plated pension too she certainly never had to worry about heating or eating).

@VelvetChairGirl

This is the most pathetic thing I have read on here, never expect validation for your existence from others. this is therapy 101, if you live your life in that way your dooming yourself to misery in or outside of a relationship.

its no one elses job to validate you or make you happy.

How nasty.

I have to confess, this post is actually making me consider what 'romance' actually is, and even wondering if it even exists.
I'm married and have been for 15 yrs now, and what some people might consider romance was there I suppose, in the beginning. But it was like the top note of a perfume - once it wears off, is what's left really worth it? Because that's the important bit. In my case, it definitely was. I love him to pieces. But is putting a little note in with his sandwiches romantic? I just think it's a nice thing to do to show him he means the world to me. I do the same to my DD (not quite so well received! 😂😂)

OP Romantic love is a LITERARY concept. Opinions vary as to how old it it; some say that (as we understand it today) it began around 1800; others say that as an ideal among courtly elites it is several centuries older. But literature is not real life, and never has been. Marriage has historically been all about property/inheritance/heirs. Or else about huddling together for mutual comfort to work in a tough worls, and/or to survive poverty/famine etc.

This is a very useful summary:
www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14780038.2019.1685839

The 'love=literature' point of view is here:
www.ox.ac.uk/news/arts-blog/did-love-begin-middle-ages

FFs 'world', not 'worls'.

Alright, read all your comments and taking all that you have said regarding to romance.
And I guess what I really miss (and should have used the word instead) is companionship.
To have a partner and someone to go through life with.
Not so mich romance.

Or maybe I’m just lonely.

One more thing:
If it really isin’t that big of a deal, then why do pretty mich everyone want a relationship?
Some try it again and again and again.

Perhaps if being single was thought of in a more positive way, those who have not met an ideal companion would not settle for second or indeed much worse than second best.

@SoLoveless2022

Alright, read all your comments and taking all that you have said regarding to romance. And I guess what I really miss (and should have used the word instead) is companionship. To have a partner and someone to go through life with. Not so mich romance.

Or maybe I’m just lonely.

One more thing:
If it really isin’t that big of a deal, then why do pretty mich everyone want a relationship?
Some try it again and again and again.

Because we are flesh bags programmed to breed.

I live love, being in love, falling in love, having a person who cares for me as much as I do for them, having long talks and walks, daily fun and laughter, somewhere there when times are hard. But… dating these days isn’t what it used to be- so many games. It is my life’s work to fall in love and have a successful long term relationship- I am actually ready for one now.

@SoLoveless2022 I think because of the reason you've given here. Companionship, someone to share life's ups and downs with, being lonely.

Personally it's not something I've pursued much. 1 very serious relationship, 1 marriage. Both failed. In between those I had no strings encounters. And now I'm happy to 'date myself' for want of better words, with the occasional friend with benefits type thing here and there when I feel like it. Won't be pursuing romantic love again and I'm ok with that. I have a lot of love in my life - children, family, friends. Romantic love is overrated and I'm not even sure it really exists beyond a few months.

Of course most of us want companionship, but that's very far from romantic love.
Just do what's best/most interesting/most important /most difficult for you. Get out and about to do so. Sooner or later, you'll meet someone else with the same interests /ideals. From then on, it's up to you. Treat them as you would like to be treated yourself. Rspect, equality, consideration, patience; for them and for you.

I'm destined to be single , romantic relationships never work out for me , but now I am 46 I think " well maybe they worked out in the way they were supposed to". There were good times and nice memories and I got my ds so not wasted .
I'm happy being single and end up unhappy in relationships so this is how it is meant to be for me I think .
I rarely give it head space tbh.
What I feel for my ds is a million times more intense than anything I have ever felt for any romantic partner .

I think you’ve had some shocking responses here OP. People have been really unkind.

I was in a similar place. I met my DH at 33 and he was my first everything. I was so unhappy before I met him. I cried myself to sleep more nights than I could count.

I did question if life was worth it. The idea that you make yourself happy without any support from anyone else is just not how human beings work. You can think you are a decent, deserving human being but when you watch everyone else go through these experiences and you go home alone every night, it gets to you.

People also peddle this idea of the fabulous single aunt, jetting here and there and so wonderfully happy, but I certainly couldn’t afford that and neither did I want to go alone!

That isn’t to say that there aren’t some good things about living alone.

It is not a character flaw to want companionship and love and romance. I’m sorry you’ve been so unlucky and I hope it changes soon

For me personally I couldn't live like that. There's nothing like that feeling when you fall in love as a teenager. That's why people never forget their first love.

Maybe if I hadn't experienced that all consuming love I would feel differently.

I can certainly see why someone who's had bad relationship experiences wouldn't be in any hurry to repeat them and would seek fulfilment elsewhere.

But I'll be honest, I would really struggle if I had never had any sort of romantic/sexual love experience at all. It's not something you can force, so I guess I'd find a way to live with it, but it's a key part of the human experience.

I wouldn’t say it’s a KEY PART to humans….

The best relationships are the ones you want rather than the ones you need or crave.

Genuinely believe that people get into some horrific relationships when they are seeking validation, reassurance, etc. This means the accept nonsense and put up with all sorts of crap they shouldn't.

If you love yourself and ensure your life it fulfilled in other ways, i.e. friends, hobbies, adventure etc., then a relationship is complimentary to this and people are less likely to stay in a bad one.

Self love is far more important than romantic love but when you nail the first one, you have a better shot at the second one and a healthier relationship.

I think it is. It certainly inspires a lot of human emotions, art and creativity.

I'm not saying a life without it is not worth living. But you asked our thoughts, and the honest truth is that if I never had experienced anything like that, I'd struggle.

But I don't think it's too late for you, if you're still open to the possibility.