To find DH's inability to answer a question infuriating?

[AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit]

For example, today is my lie in and DH often takes toddler DS to the park or duck pond on a Sunday afternoon. Today it is lashing it down, leading to this conversation:

Me "The local museum is opening on a Sunday for half term. Shall we take DS as the weather's awful?"

DH "I hadn't thought about it"

Ten minute break for thinking

Me "So, do you fancy the museum"

DH "I really haven't thought about it"

Me "Well, is it something you need to think about? I thought it was something you'd either fancy or not without pondering for a period of time."

DH - complete silence for several minutes

Me "Well, it closes at 4 so we'll have to get up and out straight after DS's nap. Would you like to go?"

DH "I really haven't thought about it yet"

I'm working on the assumption we're not going and buggering off on my own, but why can't he just say yes or no?!

This thread is really sad. So many women married to men like this. Why? Why are women marrying men like this. Why aren't their 'red flag censors' spotting this st the beginning of the relationship?

@Oblomov22

This thread is really sad. So many women married to men like this. Why? Why are women marrying men like this. Why aren't their 'red flag censors' spotting this st the beginning of the relationship?

Because usually those red flags are nit visible at the start. Just like many other signs of abuse/manipulation/being a twat.

Don't "do it back to him" FFS!!!

Does his indecisiveness often mean he ends up benefitting from less accountability or do less physical/emotional labour?

Has someone made him feel bad for being assertive or decisive in the past?

Do you often reject his input without realising?

Does he have attention issues?

There could be so many reasons behind this, but you won't find out by listening to strangers like me on Mumsnet. You'll find out by being clear and honest about the fact that it causes problems for you, and genuinely giving your partner space to tell you what's up.

DP is like this too.

Me: "DP do you want a coffee?"
DP: "ummmm" [silence]
Me: "yes or no?"
DP: [long silence]. "Thank you"
Me: "does 'thank you' mean yes please or no thanks?"
DP "yes thanks"

.

Christ that'd be annoying

Has he worked out if he umms and ahhs enough that you'll just go out with dc and he will get to have a nice afternoon alone?

Apex, not visible at the start? So all the posters below, or even just OP, the men were really decisive and not like this to start with?
When did it change then? Subtly and slowly? And when does it become such an issue, despite being talked about before, that it then becomes intolerable?

What solutions work?
Because probably it's deeper and shows a real lack of respect and concern to the women these men are doing it to?