If your children are adults what do you wish...

AnyFucker · 12/02/2022 20:25

Never mind all that. I wish them good health. I hope I die before they do.

RandomMess · 12/02/2022 20:27

To their share around the house in good grace. To have high standards in a partner.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 12/02/2022 20:28

Mine loved lazy days at home in pj's!! Andy Pandy days ds called them! Not always booked to be somewhere.. As adults now they love chilling in their own homes sometimes.. Skip the chores and watch a film with popcorn ime op!!

Ukholidaysaregreat · 12/02/2022 20:29

To know they are loved. Don't worry about material stuff.

Snow1n · 12/02/2022 20:30

My eldest is nearly an adult and already I wish I had taught him to be proud of himself for exactly who he is and to not care what others think. Im now trying desperately to instill it all in him now before he leaves home

Happiness is utmost!

AgentProvocateur · 12/02/2022 20:32

Mine are both happy well adjusted adults but with no money skills whatsoever. I wish I’d taught them to budget.

DillDanding · 12/02/2022 20:33

I hope I have taught them unconditional love.

CurlsandCurves · 12/02/2022 20:34

To know that home is their safe space.

I feel as long as they know that homeis where they can feel safe and secure, and that will always be the case, then I’ve given them a sense of grounding and security.

They can go and do whatever they want in the world, knowing there’s always a place for them to return to if they want or need it.

duvetdayforeveryone · 12/02/2022 20:35

I hope DS1 knows he is enough. Whether he spends his life at home with us or builds a career and lives by himself, we will always be proud of him.

I hope DS2 remembers what is important in life. Experiences over materialism.

RosesAndHellebores · 12/02/2022 20:36

Hmm. I always had help and then worked full-time from when they were 7 and 10. I really wish I had made sure they learnt to pick up after themselves. Apart from that they are pretty independent.

Teenagetrouble · 12/02/2022 20:36

Something I’m glad both me and my husband gave them was time. Between us we always had someone around at home time when they were teenagers. The result now is they include us in their decision making and their thoughts on life and their time. Just be around for them as much as you can. And allow them to make mistakes - cause we all do.

Bringsexyback · 12/02/2022 20:37

Stability I wish above everything else I had lived in my tiny little three bedroom semi which would be paid off by now and cost is absolute buttons to run and stayed there throughout their childhood and still owned it now.

Original poster

coodawoodashooda · 12/02/2022 20:39

Nearly all of these are making me cry. What else do I need to know?

OP posts:

Corkina · 12/02/2022 20:49

To always tell them you love them...are proud of them...and, never feel guilty about leaving us...I always say, go live your best lives, travel, etc and if you're not happy in a job, change it...nothing is forever...my kids have seen me reinvent myself time and time again...life is for living...and with relationships..we all have to endure the crap ones, to appreciate the right person when they come along.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 12/02/2022 20:49

I know what you mean though OP. I would try and save a bit of money so they could do an activity if they were interested. Also check out Sun Holidays from the Sun newspaper for really good price caravan holidays. I'm sure you are doing a great job. Xxx

lljkk · 12/02/2022 20:53

I only have depressing answers, sorry.
Not that all adult DC turn out bad, and neither did mine, but I wish I could change a few things about them...

Furrydogmum · 12/02/2022 20:59

I wish and hope they will both be able to live comfortably and afford to retire with some healthy life expectancy. I worry about this a lot!!

Mossstitch · 12/02/2022 21:03

I second what anyfucker, easterbunnyiswindiwshopping and curlsandcurves said😍 💐💐💐

Damnloginpopup · 12/02/2022 21:03

Juggling. Wish I had too. Was backpacking around Syria, Lebanon and Jordan twenty or so years ago and a German guy I kept bumping into would pick stones up and juggle when kids came up to him. Such an easy, simple but of joy to spread around that you can do anytime, anywhere.

5128gap · 12/02/2022 21:04

Without sounding smug, I wouldn't change a thing. We shamelessly practised immediate gratification and spent all our spare cash on having the most amazing experiences together, travel, days out, fun times. Not much thought to the future, no saving for their house deposits and sacrificing the present for the what ifs. We talked, all the time, and listened, asked their opinions on everything and shared ours. Showed genuine interest in each others lives. Made only the rules necessary for safety and so not to inconvenience others. Taught them about politics, inequality and social justice and how they could make a difference. Took on board the new ideas they brought to us, let them challenge our thinking and learned so much from them in the process. Kept fit, active, and youthful in outlook, to be able to do things with them without holding them back or feeling out of place in their world. Never wasted time being nostalgic for their earlier lives and enjoyed each stage more than the last. They're adults now, but its still ongoing. They are the best and most interesting people I know (not due to our patenting, that's on them!) the joy of my life, and I remember to be thankful every day.

Furrydogmum · 12/02/2022 21:04

Sent by accident! I wish we had been a bit more financially savvy when they were younger so they could learn by example. However, they both appreciate the weekends we spent taking them to museums, play parks etc and also reading and watching films together on wet weekends. Happy memories..

SoManyTshirts · 12/02/2022 21:08

@Bringsexyback

Stability I wish above everything else I had lived in my tiny little three bedroom semi which would be paid off by now and cost is absolute buttons to run and stayed there throughout their childhood and still owned it now.

I prioritised stability and familiarity. By 25 one had moved to the other end of the country and the other was living abroad. Both doing well!

AngelinaFibres · 12/02/2022 21:11

@coodawoodashooda

... you had taught them or what experience do you wish you had given them?

Single parent trying to prioritise. Looking for clarity.

When each of my children hit 21 we gave them a list titled "things we (their stepfather and I) wish we had known when we were 21". Eldest son has his framed on the wall in the hallway of his flat.It said things like Have a budget for everything Never owe friends money. If you owe your share of a bill pay it before you buy anything for yourself. Trust people. 9/10 will reward your trust. Say yes to things and work out how later. If you do/don't want children, be honest with your partner. If your wishes don't fit each other then you both need to walk away. PAY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN,AS SOON AS YOU CAN, INTO YOUR PENSION. Have a credit card....Good for your credit rating .BUT once you have spent money on your credit card you cannot spend it again from your bank account. It has already been sent. Pay off the card every month. If you have an emergency and can't pay it all off then pay it off as soon as possible. No treats until it has gone. Those are the ones I can remember.

AngelinaFibres · 12/02/2022 21:16

Ooo I've remembered another one.
To teach them that
You cannot control how other people behave, or what they say, but, you can control how you react to it.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 12/02/2022 21:17

The other way around here - I wish my parents had taught me:

To value myself, true self worth as opposed to self esteem
That I’m allowed to have a voice and an opinion
To have high standards in a partner
To be an adult. Less of a ‘teaching’ thing but not to try to keep me in a child-like role throughout my teens meaning my early twenties were incredibly hard work while I caught up
Most of all I wish they had given me a peaceful, calm home.

They did their best, the above list makes them sound awful but they aren’t. They are just humans, with flaws, and I’ve still done very well in life for which I am thankful.