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AIBU?

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Original poster

How much housekeeping would you charge

83 replies

buddylicious · 11/02/2022 14:03

I have a young lad living with my family. Let's just say I've known him for a long time and we are helping him out.

I am trying to work out how much housekeeping to charge him, bearing in mind we do everything for him.

So he has his own double room here and everything is included ... ie three (huge) meals and snacks every day, including taking a large packed lunch to work. I do his washing and cook for him.
He uses the family toiletries etc. All bills are included ie hot water, heating, broadband, insurance etc.

He's not on a great salary at the moment but all he needs to pay out for is his clothing, mobile phone, travel to work.

I was thinking £70 a week?

OP posts:
CharSiu · 12/02/2022 11:13

He is a lodger but a family friend, maybe someone you have known for years. DS has a couple of friends I would happily have as lodgers and have known since they were little children. I agree it’s about hitting a level that means you are not out of pocket but also not making money.

You need to work out what associated costs are to have him as your lodger. That’s it really, if he has 20 or 200 left a week it’s less relevant to your situation. That’s relevant to his situation.

The deal you are offering is very good value for money.

People cannot compare their own children living at home on low wages to this situation. I am hugely out of pocket as DS pays £20PW but he is saving for a house, his GF also stays most weekends. But he is saving for a house.

BoristalkedaboutBruno22 · 12/02/2022 11:16

£70 per week would be more than half of his take home wages, I would pry charge £50

Solmum1964 · 12/02/2022 11:18

I took £200 a month from my son when he lived at home, even when he was on a minimum wage, zero hours contract. I felt that was a reasonable amount for everything that was provided. I paid my mum £150 a month when I first started work 38 years ago! £70 a week sounds very reasonable.

titchy · 12/02/2022 11:19

@BoristalkedaboutBruno22

£70 per week would be more than half of his take home wages, I would pry charge £50
His take home will be £200 a week if he's 21 and on NMW Confused
Sprucewillis · 12/02/2022 11:32

I guess it sheathed you want to give him a lift up or have a lodger?

Sprucewillis · 12/02/2022 11:32

@Sprucewillis

I guess it sheathed you want to give him a lift up or have a lodger?
*whether
SpilltheTea · 12/02/2022 11:55

£70 for all he's getting is very generous.

TheApexOfMyLife · 12/02/2022 11:57

By how much has your food bill increased?
Are you spending more in electricity/gas (hot water etc….)?

That would be my starting point.

Then I think it depends if you want to treat him as a lodger or a family member.
Lodger: he should do all his washing, clean his room, prepare his own lunch and breakfast.
Family member: I still would ask him to deal with breakfast and lunch. But I would ask him to pitch in with the housework in general (eg you do the washing for everyone but he hoovers the whole house type of thing)

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 12/02/2022 12:04

@MissMaple82

70 pound a week?? Are you having a sodding laugh!! That's utterly ridiculous. Are you looking for just financial gain or something or do you genuinely want to help him out. How old is this young lad? My 19 old son pays 100 a month! If he's working I doubt your feeding 3 meals a day, he's probably hardly there

Helpful Hmm

Blanketpolicy · 12/02/2022 12:14

Depends you financial situation and this should have been agreed before he moved in so he could decide if it was right for him. Have you jumped into this without much thought, initially treating him like part of the family/a visitor but now rethinking it? Has the shine went off helping out?

If it is to help him out and you can easily afford it I would suggest a token amount, a "huge packed lunch" could be anything from 6 slices of value bread and 3 slides of cheap ham to a banquet! You could ask he buys some of his own food, such as his lunches.

If it is to help him out and you are financially strapped work out how much additionally it costs you for him to stay. So extra portion at family meals and showers/laundry?

Stop doing his washing, he is 21. Does he go "home" at weekends, can he take his laundry home with him?

You would be paying for your rent, broadband etc anyway so I wouldn't charge for them in a helping out situation.

If it is starting to not work out or you are feeling put upon, be honest with him and tell him you didn't realise what having someone else in your home would be like and the additional costs, see what can change to make it more palatable or to give him lots of notice to think about alternative living arrangements.

guessmyusername · 12/02/2022 12:24

My dd pays £50 per week and when she started working we did a rough calculation and actual cost was closer to 70/80 so she is subsidised. But she is our dd and that is OK. She is also saving for a deposit for her own place so wanted to help her with that but also teach her about budgeting. She is not a high wage earner.

Arabellla · 12/02/2022 12:24

I paid my mum £250pm after uni, £70pw is fair.

feelsobadfeltsogood · 12/02/2022 13:17

My brother charges his kids £100 a week but he's stashing it for them secretly for when they are older and get their own paces.

cushioncovers · 12/02/2022 16:36

On minimum wage working 24 hours a week which is what you said he does he will earn around £200 a week. So I think £70 is about fair op.

Headteacher415 · 12/02/2022 17:18

I think so much depends on the back story and what "helping him out" means. If he is someone you know well, is in a challenging place, and your finances are such that you barely notice the cost of extra meals and electricity, then you are a very special person for not charging him.

If he's more of an acquaintance who got himself into his own mess, and your finances are stretched by accommodating him, then maybe he is someone who goes through life taking advantage of people.

In scenario 1, charge nothing or as little as possible, but perhaps with a clear end point. In scenario 2, the going rate - you're doing him a huge favour by giving him a roof over his head at all.

I think, to be honest, I'd say the more pertinent question is about how much of your time you are giving here - why are you providing a packed lunch and washing his clothes as part of the deal, particularly if he's not working full time? He should be more than capable of these things, and needs to learn to stand on his own feet.

5128gap · 12/02/2022 17:41

If he's eating as part of the family, the extra food cost and utilities he uses is not going to come to any where near £70 per week, unless you're cooking with very extravagant ingredients, which isn't really his decision. I'm not sure why you'd buy toiletries for him as that's personal expenditure yo me, like clothes. If you're looking to make a profit out if him, fine, but if you want to help him, I'd say £50 maximum.

StScholastica · 12/02/2022 17:50

My 19yr old DS lives with us. He brings home £1700 as he's doing a degree apprenticeship. I dont charge him anything.
If I desperately needed the money then of course I would, but he's my son, I love him, I've fed him for 19years, a few more years won't hurt and gives him a chance to save up.
If I calculated how much he cost us for food I guess £50 per week would be reslistic.

LuluBlakey1 · 12/02/2022 17:54

I think £10 a day for heating, light, room, furniture, washing, baths/showers, toiletries and food is a bargain.

beepbeep · 12/02/2022 18:09

I used to stay with my great aunt about 20 years ago, I paid her £70 a week then & that didn’t include any food!

maddiemookins16mum · 12/02/2022 18:14

@MissMaple82

70 pound a week?? Are you having a sodding laugh!! That's utterly ridiculous. Are you looking for just financial gain or something or do you genuinely want to help him out. How old is this young lad? My 19 old son pays 100 a month! If he's working I doubt your feeding 3 meals a day, he's probably hardly there
You’re the one having a laugh. £25 a week from a 19 year old, sure fire way to not help him realise the cost of living.
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/02/2022 18:20

When dds were living at home after graduating I charged them around half what they’d have had to pay for rent (not bills) in a reasonable flatshare locally.

IMO that’s reasonable - too cheap and it comes as that more of a shock when they do eventually move out and find out the hard way what it all costs.

Gingerkittykat · 12/02/2022 18:43

@buddylicious

Sorry if my last message sounded harsh.

I really care for this young mad and want to help him.

However, I'm finding it ridiculous that I'm renting a room out and feeding him etc, and then told to save the money for him etc.

He's not my son. Would a landlord give you the money back when you left or made sure you have enough money for your savings?

You are being very generous here, I bet a room alone would cost a lot more for him to rent privately. Go and research the cost of a room online, in my area (which is cheap) it would be a minimum of £100 a week for a single room not including food.

My student DD pays £50 a week and I'm thinking about increasing it by £10 to help cover the fuel rises.

Is he on the apprenticeship MW of £4.30 or the standard MW of £8.36? If he is on standard MW I would consider increasing his rent. You don't want to end up being taken advantage of.

Classicblunder · 12/02/2022 18:49

Setting aside the money, I would get him to contribute to the household more generally - cook a meal for everyone once a week, do some cleaning or gardening etc. A good idea for him to learn these things

Lightning020 · 12/02/2022 18:51

At that age £50 for food and utilities is sufficient. They are only starting out in life. Generation Z is known as the asset poor generation. Just something I heard about on Radio 4. Be generous and settle for £50.

2catsandhappy · 12/02/2022 18:58

£70 is a bargain.
At 21 he should be learning/have learned life skills. Cooking, cleaning etc. At least make it crystal clear he is cleaning up after himself in the bathroom!