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AIBU?

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Original poster

How much housekeeping would you charge

83 replies

buddylicious · 11/02/2022 14:03

I have a young lad living with my family. Let's just say I've known him for a long time and we are helping him out.

I am trying to work out how much housekeeping to charge him, bearing in mind we do everything for him.

So he has his own double room here and everything is included ... ie three (huge) meals and snacks every day, including taking a large packed lunch to work. I do his washing and cook for him.
He uses the family toiletries etc. All bills are included ie hot water, heating, broadband, insurance etc.

He's not on a great salary at the moment but all he needs to pay out for is his clothing, mobile phone, travel to work.

I was thinking £70 a week?

OP posts:
BBCONEANDTWO · 11/02/2022 18:48

I think £50 a week is probably what should be charged.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 11/02/2022 18:52

We've always said to the kids thst if they choose to leave school and work we'll split the rent and basic bills by 5 (number of people in the house) and charge them 1/5 plus something for food (negotiable depending upon whether they are eating communal family food exclusively). Your lodger/ unofficial foster son / whatever the relationship is eating 3 mels from your budget so I'd split the food bill by number of people in the house too.

You could look at the price of renting a room in your town instead of splitting the essential running costs of your house, knock off 25% for "mates/ friends and family rate" and just add food. If the amount is too high to leave him a disposable income/ chance to save you can obviously reduce it if you can afford to.

Fiftythreepercent · 11/02/2022 18:53

@Fairylightsongs

Much depends on this boys age, if he’s sixteen to eighteen then he is literally brining in 110 a week, so 70 quid is too much, if he’s 18-20 irs about 157 quid a week and again, for me, 70 is just too much, as he has his own personal costs like travel to pay for.

Op, you need to clarify his age and what he’s earning, as this could be a reasonable sum or you could be taking every last penny he has.

^ this sums it up

And I suppose whether you can afford to absorb some costs (and want to)

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 11/02/2022 18:58

I must say I was assuming that the "young lad" was 18-22 or so as a 16 year old would be on an apprenticeship wage with integrated college not minimum wage and referred to as a teen surely? Additionally there'd be the whole parental responsibility/ parents contributing minefield.

user1487194234 · 11/02/2022 19:54

I would charge a lot less maybe £25 a week
I couldn't bring myself to charge any more

BlackCoffeeInAPoolOfSunshine · 11/02/2022 20:00

user1487194234 that wouldn't even cover food! If he's 18+ he's going to be earning a bit over £200 per week on minimum wage for 24 hours per week.

Original poster
buddylicious · 11/02/2022 22:52

He's 21.

If I was to rent a room out to a stranger I could probably get more than £70 a week. If he was to buy his own food it would be a lot too.

He's not my son and I want to help him, but equally I don't want to lose out or make a profit!

OP posts:
Original poster
buddylicious · 11/02/2022 22:58

@MissMaple82

70 pound a week?? Are you having a sodding laugh!! That's utterly ridiculous. Are you looking for just financial gain or something or do you genuinely want to help him out. How old is this young lad? My 19 old son pays 100 a month! If he's working I doubt your feeding 3 meals a day, he's probably hardly there

Well he has the option of living independently otherwise. If he did so, do you really think his rent, food, bills, toiletries etc would come in at less than £10 per day!?

And he is always here! He rarely goes out as he is studying!

OP posts:
Chely · 11/02/2022 23:02

That is a reasonable amount.

I paid £50 per week 17 years ago.

hibbledibble · 11/02/2022 23:23

As an aside, if he's old enough to work, he's old enough to be doing his own laundry, and helping out with the cooking.

£70 a week sounds reasonable, if it leaves him with enough for his other expenditure, and a little to save.

Fayekrista · 11/02/2022 23:37

Personally I would take his wages & divide by 3.
1/3 rent
1/3 for him to save
1/3 for himself

AChocolateOrangeaday · 11/02/2022 23:43

I'm currently in a similar situation OP whilst the young man saves for a rental property deposit.

I charge £250 a month and that includes all food, toiletries, own room, etc, etc.

I do not however cook or wash for him.

I'm his Landlady, not his skivvy.

AwkwardPaws27 · 11/02/2022 23:50

Sounds pretty reasonable.
DM charged my brother (early 20s) £50 a week until he moved out a couple of years ago, but he did his own laundry & was expected to muck in with housework etc (put hoover round occasionally, make dinner once a week, cut the grass etc).
I wouldn't be making packed lunches for him & I'd suggest he does his own laundry - otherwise he won't have the skills for independent living in future.

PicaK · 12/02/2022 00:03

Well how much money for phone, treats, travel, holidays etc do you guys have?
Definitely charge more and save it for him.
Much better not to have such a shock when he moves out (and a bit of a nest egg)

Original poster
buddylicious · 12/02/2022 00:25

@AwkwardPaws27

Sounds pretty reasonable. DM charged my brother (early 20s) £50 a week until he moved out a couple of years ago, but he did his own laundry & was expected to muck in with housework etc (put hoover round occasionally, make dinner once a week, cut the grass etc). I wouldn't be making packed lunches for him & I'd suggest he does his own laundry - otherwise he won't have the skills for independent living in future.

Thanks

He does make his own packed lunch
and would happily do more. He can do his own washing too but I prefer to
do it as it's easier to include some of his things whilst doing the family wash.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/02/2022 07:06

@Fayekrista

Personally I would take his wages & divide by 3. 1/3 rent 1/3 for him to save 1/3 for himself
He's a grown adult and she's not his parent.
Original poster
buddylicious · 12/02/2022 10:18

He's 21 and I'm not his mum, so I don't know how much he earns and don't feel it's my place to ask him.

It's not down to me to ensure he has enough money to keep as savings. As a 21 year old he probably won't save it anyway. I can't save money each week so don't see why I have to lose out to ensure he can.

I'm also not going to keep the money and give some back when he leaves.

I don't think £10 a day to rent a room, including bills, three meals a day, unlimited snacks, toiletries, washing etc is extortionate! He wouldn't get that anywhere else.

OP posts:
Original poster
buddylicious · 12/02/2022 10:24

Sorry if my last message sounded harsh.

I really care for this young mad and want to help him.

However, I'm finding it ridiculous that I'm renting a room out and feeding him etc, and then told to save the money for him etc.

He's not my son. Would a landlord give you the money back when you left or made sure you have enough money for your savings?

OP posts:
redambergreengo · 12/02/2022 10:29

Why don't you have a conversation with him? Ask him to contribute even if he just covers his food. Suggest a percentage of his income? Come up with a figure you're both happy with.

LottyD32 · 12/02/2022 10:44

Who is he to you and why is he living with you?

70pw isn't unreasonable at all, considering what he gets for that. I used to give my mum 150pw, paid for a pub dinner and a takeaway a week and paid for the food shop.

Elieza · 12/02/2022 10:49

I agree with those who say see how much he is actually costing you and charge him that so you aren’t making a profit from him. £70 sound ok to me. However it depends on what his take home pay is after travelling expenses. I’d consider letting him make the dinner for the family on his weekday off work if he’s a relative or daughters bf or somesuch. That would help him learn to cook so you’d really be teaching him life skills.

The price of food is going up so you’d have to work it out based on figure now that the family shop would cost now without him compared to including him, not six months ago when the shopping bill was x and the electricity was y. Those will have gone up to xx and yy and electricity will double in April.

I would consider putting some rent money aside also as, although you are not his mother, if he gets his own pad he will need a months rent in advance and a months deposit. So if you want shot of him at some point he may refuse on the grounds he has not got that much saved up!

MissTrip82 · 12/02/2022 10:53

I studied medicine whilst working 30 - 40 hours a week.

I am sure he will be able to take on more hours.

You sound very generous.

angieloumc · 12/02/2022 10:55

I used to take 20% from my grown up DS's when they were at home. I certainly didn't save any to 'give back' to them or how on earth will they learn to stand on their own two feet. Helping them out financially when they've left home is a little different, as I have done with all three.

Hdhr8jsj · 12/02/2022 10:58

I charge my 19 Yr old a third of his wages.

He does actually save a third too.

Sprucewillis · 12/02/2022 11:05

How much does he take home? He's got to have some left to live on. What would you charge your own DC? I don't think I could take £70 it seems a lot for someone so young and on minimum wage.

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