Spelling my DS name

[FootrotDog]

My DS is nearly 6.
He is irritated with people mispronouncing his name (there's a kid a couple of years older in school with the same name but he goes by the mispronunciation).
DS has argued with me for about the past 8 months on how to spell his name!!
He wants to spell it slightly differently to reflect how it should be said.
I much prefer the "correct" spelling.
AIBU to insist he spells his name correctly?
YABU: It doesn't matter, let him do it if it makes him happy
YANBU: Of course you should insist he spells it properly.

@MaggieMooh

Your son goes by a mispronunciation too, because it’s correctly pronounced Zha-vee-air 🤷‍♀️

No, he doesn't. The long-established Anglicised pronunciation rhymes with 'saviour'. Yours is a mix of the French (zav-ee-ay) and Spanish (hav-ee-air).

@MaggieMooh

Your son goes by a mispronunciation too, because it’s correctly pronounced Zha-vee-air 🤷‍♀️

Yes, sorry! I'm aware there are a number of ways of pronouncing it. I just called it "mispronouncing" in relation to how my sons name is pronounced! We're happy with how we say it. He is happy with how we say it. (And older kids family are obviously very happy with how they choose to say it!) So it's not really a debate about pronunciation, just on how he'd like to spell it.

I said YABU in the vote but now you've said the name, no it should stay as Xavier. Absolutely brilliant name, begged my DH to consider it but the different pronunciations put him off.

@VanCleefArpels

I think you should encourage him to spell it the correct way because as he grows up and gets used to spelling it a different t way he might get in a pickle with the difference between his “name” and official documents eg when buying flight tickets, name has to be the same as passport. This has happened on my family where a child was named eg James but always been known as Jamie

That's precisely what I was thinking! That maybe in the long term it could cause more confusion. I didn't know if it would be overly permissive to just let him change how he writes it, rather than accept that's how it's written.

At school can't you have a 'legal name' and a 'known as' name? Could he have Zavier as his 'known as' name so he can just use it for now like a nickname?

I think if he feels strongly I'd let him spell it how he wants for now, but when I read Zavier I read it as Zav-ee-er in my head, so he might still get his name pronounced wrong.

I slightly changed the spelling of my name when I was younger, still do unless official docs, its his name, let him decide

Just change it on the school register so the teachers say Zavier. But he still writes Xavier.

The school is being lazy.

I'm a Sara(h). I went to school with a Sara (pronounced correctly). We never had any issues.

YABU. It’s his name, not yours. He can spell it how he wants, pronounce it how he wants or even change it entirely if he doesn’t like it.

In response to those posters saying the ex version is ridiculous, I’m sure a secondary school here in Liverpool uses that pronunciation (waits to be corrected …) St Francis Xavier- it’s known as SFX for short.
When you initially posted, OP, I thought it must be Louis/Lewis. Just dealt with a mortgage broker with the first spelling and I mispronounced it as Lou- ee as in Louis XIV before he told me it was pronounced Lewis.

@Coronado2

I think if he feels strongly I'd let him spell it how he wants for now, but when I read Zavier I read it as Zav-ee-er in my head, so he might still get his name pronounced wrong.

I hadn't even considered that it could just throw a different spanner into the works!

I would explain to son that it isn't the spelling that is causing the issue he just needs to remind people.

Or let him change the spelling for a bit and then he will realise that there are two ways to say so just one of those things.

Completely on the fence w.r.t. how he spells it but I always thought it was pronounced zah-vee-eh like le fermier, le pommier etc! So however he spells it there will always be someone a bit confused!

I thought Louie too because my son is best friends with one and his mum wishes he'd gone for Louis

How many years until Xavier graduates?

I wonder if those saying ex-ay-vier is right would pronounce Xander as ex-ander rather than Zander?

You could let him just change the spelling OP but surely he's already known by the "mispronunciation" at school now either way?

I think it's a good opportunity to teach your child to have the confidence to stand up for themselves and not have to accommodate people just to suit them.

My DC both have names that can be shortened easily. Think Oliver and Ollie. One is happy to be called the shortened name. The other is not and will quiet happily correct adults as well as kids about what his corrct name is. I'm glad he stands up for himself TBH.

@Maray1967

In response to those posters saying the ex version is ridiculous, I’m sure a secondary school here in Liverpool uses that pronunciation (waits to be corrected …) St Francis Xavier- it’s known as SFX for short. When you initially posted, OP, I thought it must be Louis/Lewis. Just dealt with a mortgage broker with the first spelling and I mispronounced it as Lou- ee as in Louis XIV before he told me it was pronounced Lewis.

No, SFX use 'zavier' to rhyme with 'saviour'.

@FootrotDog

Pretty sure you were gonna need the name, hence my NC!

It's Xavier.
We pronounce it zay-vier
The older kid is an exay-vier

He wants to write it Zavier

Go with Zavier. The original spelling can be pronounced several other ways than the 2 you have put.

@BobHadBitchTits

The school is being lazy.

I'm a Sara(h). I went to school with a Sara (pronounced correctly). We never had any issues.

I have sympathy with the school here. It is a battle to keep up with the varying pronunciations, both correct and otherwise: which boys called Louis are loo-is or loo-ee, whether Aaron is arrun or air-on, two Evas in one class but one pronounced eeva and the other evva. We do our best to get it right but we're human and we slip up sometimes.

@HeyItsPickleRick

Completely on the fence w.r.t. how he spells it but I always thought it was pronounced zah-vee-eh like le fermier, le pommier etc! So however he spells it there will always be someone a bit confused!

It can also be pronounced hav-ier.

As someone who spells their name differently to my legal name (not a pronunciation issue I just prefer it) I'd let him as long as he knows that sometimes he needs to use the legal spelling.

Honestly it's really annoying whenever my parents or family members refuse to spell it as my preferred version because it's 'not what's on my birth certificate'. It's my name, why can't I have it spelt as I prefer?

@Gowithme

At school can't you have a 'legal name' and a 'known as' name? Could he have Zavier as his 'known as' name so he can just use it for now like a nickname?

Yes

Ok, I'm happy to admit - now that I've figured out how to see the voting results - on this one I'm in the wrong here.

I just thought he was too young (he's really only just started to learn to read and spell!).

Obviously this is important to him, and little people problems can be big problems to them.

Looks like him spelling it that way might not fix the issue, but if that's what he wants to do then I guess he's not doing anything wrong.

I'll give my head a wobble!

What do you love about it OP? I think it's cool to have the initial X.

My colleague has Xavier as a middle name and HR rang him to tell him to stop filling in forms incorrectly. When they saw "David X Smith", they thought he'd missed out the middle name or tried to say he didn't have a middle name. There are no names beginning with X according to them.

I'd tell DS he can change it in the future if he still wants to.
For now just correct people when they pronounce it differently to what he wants. The correct pronunciation is the one the person wants. He needs to say "it's Xavier, rhymes with saviour".