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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp & money

65 replies

Seddyf · 11/02/2022 12:26

I'm not too clued up with this stuff so maybe I am being daft.

Dp & I live in a house we own, my dear nan passed & left me a substantial amount of inheritance which I used for the deposit. The total is about half the house price, Dp put in much less, not a problem though.

As a result of us moving in & the mortgage balance etc being much less than he paid before, he has saved up quite a bit of money and wants to use it to buy an investment property just in his name.

I just feel slightly upset that I am not involved. We have a baby together & in it for the longhaul or i hope anyway, this feels like we are 2 single people?

AIBU?

A friend of mine said something along the lines of he is benefitting from my inheritance, i dont really see it like that but wanted some advice?

Even help to understand so when i do ask him i wont feel so silly

OP posts:
Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:30

My deposit is completely protected. I get that out, he gets his deposit out and the rest is split 50/50. (Basing that off the mortgage being paid off)

OP posts:
L40Postcode · 11/02/2022 14:35

He is benefitting from your very large deposit. Due to that, he has a much lower mortgage that has enabled him to save the money he’s saved.

And now he wants his thing to be completely his, nothing to do with you.

So basically, what’s yours is his, what’s his is his.

Nope. He should use the money he has saved to knock a chunk off the mortgage. Once he’s knocked off the equivalent of your deposit, then he can what he likes with his money.

TheApexOfMyLife · 11/02/2022 14:35

Yay!! 🎉🎉

Why is he not wanting to pay more of the mortgage then? Is it because it wouldn’t be ring fenced?

Are you able to save money too?

thedarkling · 11/02/2022 14:36

Do you pay half the mortgage payment?

thedarkling · 11/02/2022 14:38

The deposit being protected changes things. If he pays the equivalent lump sum off the mortgage balance that won't be protected as his, so things won't be equal. I think on balance I agree with him.

Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:38

So he has said he will start paying off more of the mortgage each month.

In terms of the other property he wanted to buy that as an investment, its more additional rather than one or the other as the rent will pay for that investment property, he will use wages to pay extra off the mortgage each month.

I am unfortunately not able to save due to my minimal maternity pay.

Near enough all money is shared except for any over time he does which he keeps.

OP posts:
Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:40

@thedarkling so the saved amount even if he put that towards put house it still is a long way off from being equal in terms of deposit.

Also i agreed that deposit money he puts in is completely covered as mine was otherwise thats not fair

OP posts:
Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:41

@thedarkling

Do you pay half the mortgage payment?
All of our money is pooled t pay for everything inc mortgage.

Although my wages are far leas

OP posts:
Lou98 · 11/02/2022 14:42

@Seddyf

So he has said he will start paying off more of the mortgage each month.

In terms of the other property he wanted to buy that as an investment, its more additional rather than one or the other as the rent will pay for that investment property, he will use wages to pay extra off the mortgage each month.

I am unfortunately not able to save due to my minimal maternity pay.

Near enough all money is shared except for any over time he does which he keeps.

As both your deposits are ring fenced in your home and you both pay the mortgage. I would say that the same should happen with the investment property and you should both split the mortgage if it's in both your names.

However, it's not as simple as renting it out will pay the mortgage - having rented out a property before - he needs to be prepared for things to go wrong in the house that he'd need to pay for (boiler breaking etc), if he has tenants that move in and don't pay rent, it's a nightmare evicting so he would have to be prepared to be able to pay the mortgage for months without rent while in the process of evicting. He also might not always have a tenant in the property. Would he still have enough savings to cover both mortgages if need be or would you be expected to help even though you're not named on the property?

Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:42

In terms of getting married, would that not undo the protection of my deposit anyway? Or would that remain safe?

OP posts:
AllosaurusMum · 11/02/2022 14:45

I don't see how he's doing anything wrong. He's benefited from your larger deposit and you have been benefiting from his larger income.

Original poster
Seddyf · 11/02/2022 14:47

@AllosaurusMum

I don't see how he's doing anything wrong. He's benefited from your larger deposit and you have been benefiting from his larger income.
To be honest i agree, I was just wondering if there was anything major staring me in the face that I've missed
OP posts:
thedarkling · 11/02/2022 14:51

Renting a property out is crap actually, I think he'd be much better putting the extra into paying down your joint mortgage and adjusting the agreement about how much is protected from whom to address this. It's quite complicated isn't it!

As a comparison we aren't marrried, we jointly own a property and split bills including mortgage so that we each have the same left each month (I earn less as I only work four days but we both earn well.) I also have a rental flat (only worth about 60k, I owned it before I met him) and in rental down periods I covered the btl mtg and outgoings out of my wages after bills were split (so out of my 'bit' of spending money.) This meant I was always less well off but also means he hasn't contributed to the flat so I feel ok with it just being in my name.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 11/02/2022 14:52

The discrepancy is that the investment property will be all his, whereas only the deposit is ringfenced in the main home.

So you end up with just your deposit and share of the main house but he ends up with a whole extra investment.

For it to be fair he should ringfence the deposit and the rest of the investment be split 50/50

thedarkling · 11/02/2022 14:53

So If he wanted to buy a rental flat and cover it out of his bit of spending money I don't think I'd have a problem with that. I'm not getting married and giving him half of mine after years of repaying the mtg out of my own spending money though!

Jtb5790 · 11/02/2022 14:55

Doesn't sound right to me this. You need to understand why he wants it in his name only?

thedarkling · 11/02/2022 14:59

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

The discrepancy is that the investment property will be all his, whereas only the deposit is ringfenced in the main home.

So you end up with just your deposit and share of the main house but he ends up with a whole extra investment.

For it to be fair he should ringfence the deposit and the rest of the investment be split 50/50

I get the impression the amount he's saved is significantly less then the deposit that's ring fenced though. So he can't make it equal before buying the investment property together.
thenewduchessoflapland · 11/02/2022 15:03

If you paid 50% of the cost of the house and then your splitting the mortgage 50:50 then surely you own 75% of the property and if you sell up you'd get a 75% split of that property?

Theforest · 11/02/2022 15:03

I don't understand why he would buy this on his own? That's the answer you need from him.

itisyourmoney · 11/02/2022 15:04

No. You are sacrificing earning potential to look after his baby. If everything is joint then the investment property needs to be joint as well.

girlmom21 · 11/02/2022 15:07

Is his investment amount enough to pay off the mortgage?

CrappyXmasMarket · 11/02/2022 15:10

I think it's a good idea to put his savings into an investment property. But your name should be on it as well.

ChargingBuck · 11/02/2022 15:15

Dp & I live in a house we own, my dear nan passed & left me a substantial amount of inheritance which I used for the deposit. The total is about half the house price, Dp put in much less, not a problem though.
You are being appallingly naive with your "not a problem though."
Make an appointment with a solicitor asap.
If you have not ringfenced your much larger contribution legally, DP could force a sale, appropriate half the value, & skip off into the sunset, leaving you feeling bereft & robbed, & your nan turning in her grave.

Even if you both stay unswervingly & devotedly in love for the rest of time, can you not see how unfair this is to you?
As a result of us moving in & the mortgage balance etc being much less than he paid before
Which means because you paid this huge deposit, DP is benefitting from your cash asset ... but keeping all of that benefit for himself! You have essentially paid a large lump sum to subsidise his cheaper mortgage.

Not content with doing so well out of you, DP now wants to use it to buy an investment property just in his name.
What a greedy, selfish twat.
HE gets half your house, is much better off than before, & now reckons it's ok to cut you out of "his" house?
You're right - he is certainly behaving as if you are 2 single people.

A friend of mine said something along the lines of he is benefitting from my inheritance, i dont really see it like that but wanted some advice?
Your friend is right. he has ripped you off over your current house, & wants to rip you off by cutting you out of his proposed house.
However, your friend cannot help you - only a lawyer can.
Make an appointment, take all house documentation with you, & find out if there is anything you can do to protect yourself.

ChargingBuck · 11/02/2022 15:25

All of our money is pooled t pay for everything inc mortgage.
Why? You have already paid YOUR half of the mortgage, by putting in the big deposit equal to approx half the value of your house.
So why are you now expected to pay more?
You put in 50% cash.
HE should be paying the remaining 50%, ie ALL of the mortgage.
You are currently paying 75% to his 25% - because he is only paying half of HIS mortgage responsibility.

And you earn much less than him, & he keeps all his overtime money?
He's taking you for a proper ride OP. Please wake up.

averythinline · 11/02/2022 15:27

It does not sound right at all and if you are buying a property as an investment i hope you've both checked the legal and finances well..it can be difficult to get a good roi on just one property if you are buying at market price due to all the extra costs/insurances/tax implications.

Equally why are you shouldering all the impact of maternity leave? That is a shared cost..
Why doesn't his overtime go into the family pot? He wouldn't be able to do it or would have to pay for childcare cover.

This doesn't sound right at all....

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