To think it’s ridiculous to make a big deal over this?!

[GreenTeaMom]

On Instagram I follow a lot of mum’s who have a bit of a bigger profile (around 10-12k followers etc) and share their parenting journey, recipes etc which I have found helpful in the past.

However the one thing that I notice they all have in common is whenever their DP, OH, DH is not at home (even for just the day!) they make such a big deal about ‘solo parenting’ and act like they’ve just done the best thing since sliced bread! (They have older children too so not all newborn babies).

AIBU to find it absolutely ridiculous to make a huge fuss about the fact that you’ve just cared for your own children by yourself?!

It actually got to the point where I unfollowed a lot of them because it just infuriated me and I wondered how the hell they would ever cope if they were a single parent like myself where I am solely responsible for my child 24/7!

And REAL LIFE is a bit shit sometimes and it's ok to have a moan about that.

I think I am just getting very old. And possibly grumpy.

But why would someone post what they are doing every day and recipes on what meal they have eaten.

Maybe if they spent less time posting menial shit they may have more time to do some parenting stuff solo.

I don't get all these SM stuff.

I know its not the point of the thread though.

I mean, there are difficult parenting times for everyone irrespective of whether Dad is around or not. I remember DH having to go to work when I had norovirus for example so I was vomiting constantly into a bowl whilst breastfeeding baby DD and I had two toddlers running around at the same time. That wasn’t an easy day! It’s ok to struggle with parenting and it’s ok to say as much, it isn’t a race to the bottom.

YANBU

@Highlighta

I think I am just getting very old. And possibly grumpy.

But why would someone post what they are doing every day and recipes on what meal they have eaten.

Maybe if they spent less time posting menial shit they may have more time to do some parenting stuff solo.

I don't get all these SM stuff.

I know its not the point of the thread though.

For many of them that’s their income stream. So it’s their job. Lots of us do boring menial shit in exchange for money. Let’s not get sniffy about it.

It's just a function of being that kind of poster. They tend to exaggerate everything to make their posts more fun to read.

The other thing that used to bug me when I was a single parent was people saying incredibly dramatically "I really don't know how you do it" with a real pitying look on their face. I know they meant well, and I would always be kind back, but I really wanted to say: a) I don't have a choice so just have to get on with it b) I'd rather be a single parent than trying to parent with my ex c) there are many people that have it way worse than me and that includes some married people in awful relationships

YANBU

For me it's not the day to day 'solo parenting' which is the most difficult part. It's the responsibility of being the sole adult in my house 24/7. The fear of something happening in the night, if the kids are in bed I can't just pop out for medicine etc if one of them is unwell, the knowing that at no point is another adult going to walk through the door eventually and take over or just give me 5 minutes to collect my thoughts, money is all down to me.

That's what pisses me off about people saying they 'feel like a single parent'

@bluejelly

The other thing that used to bug me when I was a single parent was people saying incredibly dramatically "I really don't know how you do it" with a real pitying look on their face. I know they meant well, and I would always be kind back, but I really wanted to say: a) I don't have a choice so just have to get on with it b) I'd rather be a single parent than trying to parent with my ex c) there are many people that have it way worse than me and that includes some married people in awful relationships

Yes!

It's not all grey clouds and drudgery

I'm surprised you're surprised OP. That's what social media is - a megaphone for "look how wonderful / dramatic / tragic my life is" while the rest of us mere mortals just get on with it.

YANBU

However to play devil's advocate, men are often treated as some kind of superheroes for looking after their own children for even an evening. Man takes a his own child to a toddler group one week = outstanding parenting. Mum takes own child to toddler group for 40 weeks of the year = not worth commenting.

At no point did OP say they were saying that solo parenting for a day or a week showed them what it's like to be a single parent. They were just moaning that it's tougher when you're a pair of hands down on the norm. Two very very different things.