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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people work so far away?

127 replies

rustlesinthehall · 10/02/2022 12:55

So many people upset about going back to the office which I do understand but I have seen so many posts bemoaning that they had to commute for hours and hours.

Didn’t people realise this before applying for the job? Why were people working hundreds of miles away and hoping for a pandemic to come and sort out the problem?

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 10/02/2022 14:39

I think some people take a role in a location which isn’t ideal when they are in need of a job, think they’ll look for something else, and then are so bloody tired by the job and the commute they haven’t got the energy to do that. Also they forget how nice it is to have a short or easy commute.

ButWhereDidTheWindComeFrom · 10/02/2022 14:40

well, we live near DH's work. But when I met and married him the only jobs I could do that were not internationally based were in London. Cue a 4 hour commute for 5 years. It was pretty ghastly. Then I retrained partly because I could not cope any more (and we sure as anything could not afford to move to London, then DH would just have the reverse commute) and got a job 15 minutes drive away. Problem is i detest my job, dislike my managers who are racist (including against me), and am earning 30% less than I did before. Right now I am considering taking an extended time out of the workforce because my older DS has a range of disabilities and the whole concept of being able to focus on supporting him and DS2 for a bit is too too attractive.

But yes- often there is not much choice. You have to live where you can afford and which all things being equal makes the most sense for your family and usually you have to take a job that accepts you.

KStockHERO · 10/02/2022 14:42

Both me and DP work in different cities from the one we actually live in. I commute one hour north, he commutes one hour south.

Initially it was an accident of where jobs came up. We were pretty settled in the city we live in and fortunate that jobs came up within reasonable distance. Most people in our sector (we work in the same sector - academia) absolutely don't have the choice to stay put where they've already settled - they have to chase the work, sometimes to other countries.

The commute was never particularly wonderful but I absolutely love that I don't live anywhere near my work. There's very little chance of bumping into colleagues on weekends, I never, ever, ever see my students IRL, and I feel like my work/home lives are totally separate.

I'm not based in London so its not about affordability. In fact, we live in a fairly expensive city and commute to places where housing is much, much, much cheaper (like half the price).

BobMortimersPetOwl · 10/02/2022 14:43

Big commutes have been the norm for a long time for a lot of people, who have accepted that's just how it is.

But being forced to work from home during the pandemic has understandably pushed a lot of those to people to question why there needs to be a long commute every day.

DogsAndGin · 10/02/2022 14:44

No one was ever hoping for a pandemic to sort out the problem. How ignorant.

People work far away because they have made a compromise; their ideal, well paid job is 75 minutes away, but, they’ll love it when they get there. Vs. a crap job 10 minutes away which they’ll hate.

Seriously need this explaining to you?!

MsMeNz · 10/02/2022 14:49

A little short sighted. Depends on many things, age of kids, location of your support network, location of jobs in your industry, not everyone is a teacher, nurse or retail person that could indeed work many locations..some people have more specialised/niche jobs.

So it becomes a balance of pay, cost of living, support network, job availability, career stage etc. Not everything is clear cut.

Motnight · 10/02/2022 14:50

To be fair the pandemic did sort out the problem of commuting for a lot of us 😂

TroublesomeTrucks · 10/02/2022 14:53

In the last 10 years I have worked in 4 different cities (and 2 separate periods in each of 2 of those cities) all around an hour from where I live, but in different directions. I knew my job was likely to move around and chose to have a long commute but a stable base in a community where I have friends and reasonable house prices, rather than move 6-7 times with short term local links and more expensive housing. Plus my husband worked in 3 other cities in that time and we both occasionally have to go to London. We have good motorway links, good rail links but a rural village life. It works for us.

Dyrene · 10/02/2022 14:55

This is just a silly question. People apply for jobs because they need them.

We’re always told on MN that no one should ever be expected to move somewhere cheaper because of the benefits cap. They’ve got families and ties you know. But clearly that doesn’t apply to people with crap commutes as they try to manage their lives.

housemaus · 10/02/2022 14:55

I used to live a 2-hour drive for work - my job was more flexible and I could go in twice a week, DH's wasn't and he had to be in every day. We come from opposite sides of the country so someone had to move.

Now I live an hour from work, because it's a nicer place to live than where work is. I like my commute, though, and I'm still only in 2-3 days a week.

Allthekittycats · 10/02/2022 14:57

It’s obviously not a choice is it? You buy/rent somewhere you can afford and you take the job that pays for it wherever you can??

PatchworkElmer · 10/02/2022 14:58

We live rurally because our families are here. DH is quite underpaid for his job in the nearest town, and we have discussed him applying for jobs in cities a couple of hours away. It wasn’t worth it for us in terms of family life balance- HOWEVER we are lucky that we can afford for him not to do that. I could see that if he had worked further afield and then had 2 years at home, he would be very resistant to going back to the long commute.

D0lphine · 10/02/2022 15:01

@PleasantBirthday

House prices. I work in the city centre of Dublin, I don't have over a million to spend on property. But I do have to live somewhere, so I do live somewhere. In my house, which has a commute to work because I don't get paid the kind of money which would allow me to live closer.

I don't think you have to be especially astute to understand that that's the case for most people. People aren't generally so thick that they get a job and a house and then, only at that point, does it strike them that one isn't within walking distance of the other.

Housing in Dublin is insane, so I completely understand this!
EvilPea · 10/02/2022 15:02

Pretty much everywhere from luton down, basingstoke west, Colchester east and the end of the land south is now commuter belt for london with the attached pricing.

I think people just found it nice either having a quieter commute or no commute. And it’s ok to moan about going back to it.

ChrissyPlummer · 10/02/2022 15:02

Cost. I work near to Manchester. A house similar to the one I have now would be £500k +. Mine was just over £200k. There are no decent jobs in my area, just zero hours, min wage warehouse/care/retail.

Kazzyhoward · 10/02/2022 15:04

Because most good jobs are in big cities, and most people live outside cities. We're decades past the time when there were lots of decent jobs in smaller towns and cities, and virtually none at all in rural areas.

camelfinger · 10/02/2022 15:11

I used to work in central London with a couple of people who lived in SW England. They would stay in London during the week and travel back on Thursday night. They obviously got it agreed with their managers but it did used to piss off the rest of the team, as they would gradually get in later and later, or need to not come in because of dodgy weather.

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 10/02/2022 15:16

I live an hour and a half away from my office because it’s in London and I can’t afford to live there. HTH

incognitoforthisone · 10/02/2022 15:25

Empathy not your strongest suit, I notice.

They weren't 'hoping for a pandemic to come and sort out the problem' - what a ridiculous thing to say. They took a job with a long commute, presumably for all sorts of perfectly valid and understandable reasons - they'd probably have preferred that job if it was on their doorstep, but needs must. It's always a balancing act between finding the right job and finding the right place to live. Those two things are not always located side by side. So people compromise and suffer the rotten commute for the sake of a decent job.

Now, however, they have spent two years doing their job from home and have seen what a difference that made to their quality of life, and are feeling sad about losing that. Pretty understandable, no? I think most people who have done their job perfectly well from home during the pandemic have simply realised, for the first time, that the job they were travelling for two hours each way to do can be done just as well from their spare bedroom, and are therefore feeling a bit resentful about going to back to spending a lot of time and money on something that now doesn't feel terribly necessary.

mathanxiety · 10/02/2022 15:46

People often depend on grandparents to reduce the cost of childcare. I know people who are all out on the road at 6 am - parents, baby, toddler - to drop the LOs off at gran's house 20 miles away two days per week before they head to work, but most people in this situation choose to live closer to the relatives who facilitate their employment.

crosstalk · 10/02/2022 15:47

@icognitoforthisone

Agree. For jobs that don't require physical presence. However if we're talking about eg civil service then (a) the government needs to step up to make sure ie DVLA, passport and other services have proper home communications and links to the main database (b) those who have city weighting (mostly London) that they realize that can't be justified. (c) for those working from home but doing 2 days a week in a city that the rail services provide some sort of deal.

I have a DS working for a charity spread all over, happy to go in when required for proposals etc, but most of his work can be done online including zoom. It means the charity saves money with no city office but can book venues for face to face meetings.

mathanxiety · 10/02/2022 15:50

But yes, this is a daft question. Surely the many, many reasons are obvious?

ChristmasC · 10/02/2022 15:52

Oh come on OP, what a short sighted post!

I commute an hour to work because there is no comparable job with a comparable salary near where I live. I've been looking for a closer to home job for 2 years! We can't move closer to my work because that would mean up rooting my children from their school and livelihoods, moving to an area I don't like and wouldn't wish to live in, and would also then mean a long commute for DH.

There are multiple reasons why people commute! U r quite judgemental really OP

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2022 15:55

The job furthest from my home I took because we were mid recession and I'd already been made redundant from 2 jobs in a row (thanks last in first out policies) and jobs were in very short supply. I took whatever I could find and just had to deal with the horrific commute.

shinynewapple22 · 10/02/2022 16:00

@MichaelAndEagle

I think sometimes you don't actually need to live that far away to have a commute of over an hour though, if you need to get public transport into a city for example. My commute is 1 hour door to door and I only live 8 miles away.

I agree with this. Sometimes I have to travel from my house to a venue the opppsite side of a large city. It's around 15 miles but if I'm unlucky in the timing of my journey it can take an hour and a half - or more .

We have had a couple of members of staff completely move area during the pandemic and I don't know what will happen to them if WFH stops for us .