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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please tell me age 3.5 to 4.5 is the worst?

34 replies

whitesta · 09/02/2022 12:07

Honestly my son is so annoying! He's a lovely boy, just full of energy.

I don't want to play hide and seek again!

OP posts:

SarahAndQuack · 09/02/2022 12:10

I think it gets easier when they go to school because it tires them out!

But OMG, yes, endless hide and seek, ugh. I did a shit ton of swimming with DD when she was 3, just because I knew she would sleep.

They're lovely but wow they are tiring.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 09/02/2022 12:13

I liked 3.5-4.5! Probably one of my favourite stages. 18 months to 3 was/is the hardest.
Although I have a 3 year old who has suspected ASD and the communication problems makes this stage so much harder than it was with my NT children.

Anonymouseposter · 09/02/2022 12:17

I found age 18 months to three and a half the hardest ( and I have seen them right through to adulthood). By 4 most children are starting to be able to focus on an activity or T.V. programme for a short time.
They are still full of energy though.

25summers · 09/02/2022 12:17

I wouldn’t say it gets better, it does somewhat get easier but then your faced with new challenges!
I would choose another game of hide and seek over my 5 and a half year old screaming to play games on my phone/he’s also going through some sleep issues where he wakes around 3AM and no matter what I try he does not go back to sleep, or tries too around 6:30AM when we need to start getting ready for school! Or my 9 year old with her prenager attitude! Funnily enough my 4 year old is the most chilled of them all!

25summers · 09/02/2022 12:20

Obviously he does get some screen time, just read it back like he never gets to play games🤣 but it’s from the moment he’s home from school and is interfering with tea time/ bath time etc because ALL he wants to do is sit there and play on it🤦🏼‍♀️

MorningStarling · 09/02/2022 12:24

Sorry but the worst age is whatever age they happen to be at the time! You always imagine things will get better, and you forget some of the negatives of the past.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/02/2022 12:26

My child is 4.5- in school- love her but actually she’s more exhausting than when she was 2. Endless demands on my time, I thought she’s be a bit more independent with play by now.

Mo1911 · 09/02/2022 12:26

Boys have a testosterone surge around for and again at 7 so they do tend to be a bit hormonal over those ages!

frankiefirstyear · 09/02/2022 12:28

For me the worst was 2-3.5. Ate my ever increasing weight in cake during that age to get me through it!

SarahAndQuack · 09/02/2022 12:28

@Mo1911

Boys have a testosterone surge around for and again at 7 so they do tend to be a bit hormonal over those ages!

I think this is a myth? sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/09/why-the-huge-testosterone-surge-in-young-boys-is-a-myth-and-what-really-causes-their-behaviour-to-change/

SartresSoul · 09/02/2022 12:29

Yeah, it is a pretty difficult age. My DD was awful at this age, she regularly had full blown tantrums and would sometimes just throw herself on the floor in public screaming. She briefly got worse when she started reception but eventually settled down and she’s been ok ever since. I found seven a tricky age, not sure why but they all got a bit moodier at 7 and no longer wanted photos taken.

CoodleMoodle · 09/02/2022 12:33

My DD(7) was an angel around that age, mostly. She's an angel in general really, but her most difficult age was early 3, when she started preschool and developed an attitude! She calmed down and bit after a couple of months, and has been lovely ever since (mostly). She's only horrible when she's tired.

DS is 3.5 now and I swear to god, he is the most difficult child I've ever met. I adore him but he's HARD WORK. Preschool made no difference to him, although he does love it. I've tried everything and he's just... feral!

Original poster

whitesta · 09/02/2022 12:33

@Mo1911

Boys have a testosterone surge around for and again at 7 so they do tend to be a bit hormonal over those ages!

I thought this was completely debunked

OP posts:

BobHadBitchTits · 09/02/2022 12:37

I hated 3-4.

He's lovely again now. Mostly.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 09/02/2022 12:42

I am struggling with DS who is 3 years 4 months. He's on the go for 13 hours a day (and sometimes also from 2am-5am). Constant demands for food and won't play on his own. I was genuinely considering upping work to 4 days instead of 3 and putting him in nursery an extra day!

I will cope with a teenager - it's the physical exhaustion/lack of sleep that's doing me in at the moment rather than anything emotional.

Whymustyoubringinthebirds · 09/02/2022 12:44

Yip feels like it, my almost 4 year old never shuts up, ever. So many questions, observations, reminders about that time 6 months ago I put the wrong socks on

RonObvious · 09/02/2022 12:45

I'm currently in the golden years: one 8 and the other 10. Old enough to do most things for themselves, and to be able to amuse themselves, but hormones haven't hit yet. 3-5 was the hardest, IMO, but after that things start to get easier.

IKeptYouLikeAnOath · 09/02/2022 12:47

3-4 was fucking horrific.

SO loving but also SO highly strung. Ridiculous tantrums when tired or hungry. Every year he's improved since then and now he's a thoroughly loveable 9 year old who pulls the odd huff.

riotlady · 09/02/2022 12:58

I’m struggling with my nearly 4 year old. She’s going through a massive daddy phase, doesn’t want me to do anything with her, keeps hitting out at both of us, it’s exhausting

MatildaTheCat · 09/02/2022 13:03

Very similar to caring for young dogs at this age. Food, exercise and fresh air and a lot of it.

I thought the Poo Joke years were very tiresome and they lasted a looong time. The above measures did help. .

Veryworried22 · 09/02/2022 13:05

3-5 is my least favourite age. My 9 year old is absolutely cracking and I'm really enjoying him. He's so funny, old enough to entertain himself, doesn't need me in the night etc. My 6 year old is chatty but lovely. The 4 year old is just...no words. But the others were peak annoying at 4 so I have hope.

united4ever · 09/02/2022 13:12

We lived in a flat at that age. Park twice a day was my routine. Scooter ride there and back. Loads of fresh air. They get hungry which means they eat well which also helps them sleep well. Even in the rain, wellies on and splash in puddles.

I was terrible at entertaining kids indoors. But outside there is stuff going on that you can see/talk about and interact with.

Parky04 · 09/02/2022 13:29

The age between 14-17 was by far the hardest!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 09/02/2022 13:37

Wpuld you like my nearly 2 year old? Hes in the stages of dropping his nap totally and is a tired mess.

Ill take your 3.5yr old.

HorseInTheHouse · 09/02/2022 13:39

We all find different ages challenging. I think that's one of the best ages! My boy is 4.5 and I love his enthusiasm for life, although I do wish he would listen a bit better when I'm telling him to put on his pyjamas. He has such interesting perspectives and it's lovely now that he can communicate so well that we can have real conversations. My daughter is 6.5 and she's a delight as well (most of the time), but she's a bit more cynical now. I enjoy being their mother so much more now than when they were babies and toddlers.

I don't play hide and seek, though - those kinds of games I tell my two children they can play together.

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