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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not send my boys to this kindergarten because...

65 replies

bluebikehelmet · 09/02/2022 08:59

...when I went to view it the two women who run it were morbidly obese?

I don't live in the Uk and have been scouting for a new kindergarten for my two boys, and I was really put off because of the owners/carers appearance...

To run around after lots of kids takes a lot of energy, and I want my kids to be properly looked after and physically challenged. I was very surprised as they were both wearing baggy, pyjama like clothes and didn't look like they could move anywhere energetically...I just don't think it looked professional (their appearance not their weight), but their weight does have me doubting their ability to run a school for young children effectively?

Am I wrong? I am prepared to get flamed for this.

Side note - when I told my husband he felt exactly the same

OP posts:

ApricotPeony · 09/02/2022 16:59

In the UK there's loads of obese police officers and nurses etc putting in a hard days' work each day.

ApricotPeony · 09/02/2022 16:59

And teachers

ApricotPeony · 09/02/2022 17:03

If it's not what you and your dh want in a nursery why do you need to start a thread about it? Surely just look elsewhere. I looked at a few nurseries before choosing one I wanted. I ruled out the others for various reasons

oatlattetogo · 09/02/2022 17:14

@Hadjab

When I was having my introduction one of the ladies struggled to get herself out of her chair. They would both need two airline seats if flying (as someone used that as a descriptor)

We get it, they’re fat. You’re just being bitchy now.

I think that’s a bit unfair. Several posters have asked the OP exactly what she means by ‘morbidly obese’ and have suggested that not all very large people struggle with physical things.

Mojoj · 09/02/2022 17:23

That would put me off. Morbidly obese people wouldn't have the required energy levels to run around after small kids all day.

PinkPansies · 09/02/2022 17:28

As soon as I read the op I knew that the thread would be full of 'not all fat people are unfit' and 'I'm morbidly obese but run marathons' type comments.

Yanbu op, not at all.

When I leave my toddler with someone I want to be pretty sure they have a fighting chance of catching them if they run off.

Morbidly obese doesn't instill much confidence in that respect.

Foijkl · 09/02/2022 17:30

Greasy hair as well - bingo!

GreenWheat · 09/02/2022 17:33

I rejected some nurseries purely on gut feel, no logic to it. You should avoid any nursery where you don't feel comfortable for whatever reason. But in this specific case I think I would be the same as you.

takingmytimeonmyride · 09/02/2022 17:49

I must admit I did the same when I looked for a pre-school for my youngest. And I am obese. But not morbidly obese. I know how unfit I was then, chasing after one toddler. These ladies were far far bigger than me. It may be fat shaming, but I suppose then I'm shaming myself also?

Go with your gut, I rejected another pre-school for other reasons, it just didn't feel right. Same with schools.

Puffalicious · 09/02/2022 17:56

@Hadjab

When I was having my introduction one of the ladies struggled to get herself out of her chair. They would both need two airline seats if flying (as someone used that as a descriptor)

We get it, they’re fat. You’re just being bitchy now.

That's totally unfair. I completely agree with OP-it's not bitchy to acknowledge that a caregiver couldn't easily get on the floor with a child/ have physical play/ move easily to ensure safety etc. It's not healthy or advisable for all involved.

Frazzled50yrold · 09/02/2022 18:40

My son's main carer at nursery was morbidly obese. Within about 18 months she'd hired a personal trainer and turned her life around.
I can't remember the stats but aren't most of us overweight.

trumpisagit · 09/02/2022 18:46

Yanbu
I think you are right OP

Hadjab · 10/02/2022 12:58

@Puffalicious there’s a difference between stating someone is obese, which OP had done in every post prior, more than getting her point across, and stating they would need two airline seats. The descriptor was unnecessary and just plain bitchy. How many more times does she need to drive home the point that she doesn’t want fat people looking after her child?

Puffalicious · 10/02/2022 13:15

[quote Hadjab]@Puffalicious there’s a difference between stating someone is obese, which OP had done in every post prior, more than getting her point across, and stating they would need two airline seats. The descriptor was unnecessary and just plain bitchy. How many more times does she need to drive home the point that she doesn’t want fat people looking after her child?[/quote]
I think this was because a PP asked for clarification on size- asking if they would need two seats on a plane.

HestonB · 13/11/2022 14:19

This reply has been deleted

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