Little Matchstick Girl

[AutomaticMoon]

AIBU to think children of age 5-6 shouldn’t be exposed to this story? I just realised that I think this is when my life long depression started (2 attempts on my own life), it’s too disturbing and traumatic for small children to know this is the world we live in.

I remember being extremely upset and crying at school in year 3 when it was read out. However I think it helped develop empathy and compassion and I'm certainly not affected long term.

Depression is a medical chemical issue isn't it, can it be brought on by a sad book? I'm asking only because I'm not an expert

As children, we would get my dad to read this book regularly as it always made him cry.
We, being heartless kids with no empathy, thought this was hilarious, so I don’t think what you are saying is true for most people.

Ah there is not really good scientific evidence for depression being a ‘brain chemistry’ issue, apparently. The brain is just part of the body, I don’t really see it as separate from the body. I just know that I started having very dark and scary thoughts after reading this. I was teaching myself to read so was reading anything my grandparents had but this upset me the most.

@2holibobssofar

As children, we would get my dad to read this book regularly as it always made him cry. We, being heartless kids with no empathy, thought this was hilarious, so I don’t think what you are saying is true for most people.

Haha fair play to you! I must’ve been a depressive child, I was unhappy to not be with my parents as a child so maybe this played a part.

It depends on how the story is told. In one way it's a depressing story of a little girl freezing to death yet in another way she leaves behind an awful and miserable life to go and stay with her grandmother.

Stories and age appropriate news are important because children should know that the world isn't always a lovely, welcoming and happy place and that bad things do happen. They read and hear about these things in a safe environment and can then talk about them with the adults surrounding them. If they're never exposed to death, grief, sadness and never hear about the serious side of life until they're adults then it'll hit them like a tonne of bricks.

But perhaps the age you were coincided with your feelings of depression. If sad books and films caused depression, no one wouldn't be depressed. It's clearly something else than feeling sad because someone was treated badly in a book.

I was an emotional child and I'm an emotional adult so I reached emotionally to books, not the books causing my emotional personality

Reacted

I always thought it was The Little Match Girl. I think that the causes of depression are more complicated than exposure to a sad story.

I wept buckets over it... And it didn't stop me reading it again (and crying again)

Ginger's Adventures had the same effect in me.

If you didn’t have your parents around surely that’s impacted you more than a story

I'd agree that it's a very sad story. Good for older children to read and think about the lives that other people lead. At 5-6 it sounds as if you were too young for it and a sensitive soul. But the root of long term depression, no. I'd guess that a natural inclination towards depression as a very sensitive child plus maybe a collection of other things happening in your life are the root cause. Probably to you, that story is the first concrete example you have of those intensely sad feelings occurring so it stands out in your memory. On its own it's unlikely to be the cause I'd think.

@GTAlogic

It depends on how the story is told. In one way it's a depressing story of a little girl freezing to death yet in another way she leaves behind an awful and miserable life to go and stay with her grandmother.

Stories and age appropriate news are important because children should know that the world isn't always a lovely, welcoming and happy place and that bad things do happen. They read and hear about these things in a safe environment and can then talk about them with the adults surrounding them. If they're never exposed to death, grief, sadness and never hear about the serious side of life until they're adults then it'll hit them like a tonne of bricks.

I was in a communist country, children were definitely exposed to all those things. But it doesn’t have to start at 5, imo.

I read this when I was little and I found it so incredibly sad.

I, too, have had a lifetime of debilitating depression!

My friend read it as a child and thought it was a lovely book. She’s far better at life than I am.

I was unhappy to not be with my parents as a child so maybe this played a part

This and the fact that you were teaching yourself to read rather than being read to make it sound as if you were incredibly lonely and empathised strongly with the girl.
I'd guess life events rather than the book are at the heart of things.

@LazySaturday

I'd agree that it's a very sad story. Good for older children to read and think about the lives that other people lead. At 5-6 it sounds as if you were too young for it and a sensitive soul. But the root of long term depression, no. I'd guess that a natural inclination towards depression as a very sensitive child plus maybe a collection of other things happening in your life are the root cause. Probably to you, that story is the first concrete example you have of those intensely sad feelings occurring so it stands out in your memory. On its own it's unlikely to be the cause I'd think.

That makes a lot of sense, thank you. Also read Uncle Tom’s cabin (I know it’s racist but this was communist eastern bloc and I was around 7) and it also upset me when the little girl dies and it’s described heartbreakingly. I didn’t know about slavery otherwise that would’ve made me cry too!

When I asked my mother once whether I used to cry a lot as a baby, she said no, never. I find it hard to believe!

@LazySaturday

I was unhappy to not be with my parents as a child so maybe this played a part

This and the fact that you were teaching yourself to read rather than being read to make it sound as if you were incredibly lonely and empathised strongly with the girl.
I'd guess life events rather than the book are at the heart of things.

This really hit me in the guts.

I’m not crying, you’re crying! 😭

Are you a psychologist or something like that? I think I really do identify with the little girl. Still! After living with my grandparents I had to be in foster care and let’s just say the time with my grandparents was paradise, in comparison.

@SwissCheeseRentedChildren

I read this when I was little and I found it so incredibly sad.

I, too, have had a lifetime of debilitating depression!

My friend read it as a child and thought it was a lovely book. She’s far better at life than I am.

That’s odd, isn’t it? Did you have adverse childhood experiences that your friend perhaps didn’t? It’s impossible to know what goes on behind closed doors though. If you don’t mind mr asking, are you neurotypical? I don’t think I am, I struggle with a few things but not sure if it’s my cPTSD or maybe autism/adhd.

I suppose another way to say what you're getting at is "had I not have read this book, I wouldn't have depression" and presumably that's not true.

I'm sorry you had such a difficult start in life x

@steff13

I always thought it was The Little Match Girl. I think that the causes of depression are more complicated than exposure to a sad story.

I’m sorry, that’s my mistake. I was in a different country and it was another language, and I translated it incorrectly in my head.

@DoubleChinWoes2

I suppose another way to say what you're getting at is "had I not have read this book, I wouldn't have depression" and presumably that's not true.

I'm sorry you had such a difficult start in life x

Thank you most kindly, that’s true, I would most likely be the same way had I not read it x

I find his little mermaid more disturbing. I remember hiding it upside down under my bed until I could take it back to the library.

@Titfortatfortit

I find his little mermaid more disturbing. I remember hiding it upside down under my bed until I could take it back to the library.

We didn’t have the little mermaid but I know what you mean, that could scare a small child too. Sirens in folklore are not pleasant, they lure sailors to death but I guess it’s not new for Disney, they have some questionable consent.

*content not consent

I loved this story as a child but granted I never realised that she had died, I just thought that she had gone to live with her lovely grandmother! I remember watching it on tv on Christmas eve whilst my mum made mince pies!
I make sure that I watch it every Christmas eve now just to remind myself of that one happy day as a child!

It's sad to imagine you trying to teach yourself to read on your own. It's like a sad children's story in itself.

I found most Hans Christian Anderson stories very sad. Even the happy ending of The Snow Queen has got some very upsetting episodes. A lot of Oscar Wilde fairy stories are very sad too but I think readers at the time - including children - were much more accepting of sadness and death. I think they are really written for older children but as Disney has Disneyfied many of the stories, it's easy to assume the stories are for the same age group as the films.

I hope life is a bit better for you now AutomaticMoon, even though you have had to battle with depression.